What to Expect in Recovery from Infidelity When There Is No Humility

Samuel shares part one of why humility and honesty must be present in recovery.

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THAT'S IT!!! No humility = unsafe for betrayed = no emotional connection/intimacy = staying stuck...

Once humility is exhibited on the unfaithful's part, true healing can take place for the unfaithful and the betrayed.

That one word, ironically, has so much power to determine the outcome of healing or not from infidelity.

Another great topic...thank you!!!


my husband and I have a past that is extensive prior to our marriage. both sides cheating and we have each been with many partners since we began our relationship 13 years ago. 4.5 years ago we were married and prior to our marriage (the night before) he admitted to two one night stands he had kept from me whicheck occurred a year or two after we began dating while we were dating. I had cheated on him after these two one night stands and he knew about that. we had gotten back together because I became pregnant with our first child. we then split up 2.5 years later and during that time u had many one night stands but he only knew about one of them. when he found out about this one he went and had many multiple night flings to get back at me. while it was extremely wrong and selfish due to my worry of how long his flings would go on had I told him of the many more people I was with when we were broken up, I kept them from him and told him I wasn't with anyone while we were apart. this info came to light in October and he has taken it very hard. he is doing EMDR but he is leaving and staying nights at our other house very frequently because he expects me To never have any emotion or get upset about the many people he has been with. I feel that since we both hurt one another and I was made fun of while I grieved the things he had done that the least he could do is expect me to occasionally feel angry that he expects me to never get upset and to take the full role as the unfaithful yet isn't willing right now to admit any blame. last night we watched the humility video for about the 5 time alone with others we have watched numerous times and while we watch them he rubs in my face how I'm not doing this or that right. I am trying and most the time I feel I do well. he however thinks I dont. this takes over every bit of our day and while working and raising 4 kids 3 of which are 3 and under I find that I feel like I am devoting most all my time to his healing and yet he doesn't see it. it's frustrating but especially frustrating when I. have a trigger from something he's done and then he rubs in my face how I wasn't able to do something on the video perfect when he never did anything on the videos to help me heal because we didn't have time he info instead due to his anger during my healing to I had to suffer silently and be made fun of for being emotional and i was mocked with his infidelity because it made him feel better because he had never gotten over the issues we had before when I cheated on him after he cheated on me. how do I find the humility and not allow my pride to get in the way so that he can heal and I can later heal