Samuel thank you so much for this vlog and your many other ones. I find them helpful and hope my wayward spouse watches them also. You mentioned turtling by the WS. Would you be willing to explain this a little more in-depth on a vlog for WS I run into this a lot from my WS as he struggles to stay out of shame and defensiveness. He is in recovery for sex addiction so I know that this is an outcropping from foo and learning new coping skills. I think other SA's struggle with this as well, and it might be helpful to the WS, especially SA's, and the betrayed spouses if you could talk about turtling and things that are more helpful to do in those situations.
Thank you again for all that you do on these vlogs, and thank you that affair recovery makes these possible and available.

Hi Samuel. Thank you so much for these videos. They've been helpful. However, one thing I haven't seen addressed (I recently started watching...maybe a month or so ago) is what to do to fall in love with your spouse after you've betrayed her. My wife is doing really well...she's forgiven me, and we're working on things. But I can honestly say that, while I love her, I'm not in love with her. I am still missing my affair partner (who I've had zero contact with) almost four months after D-Day. While I know it will likely take longer to get over her, I just don't have the consistent feelings for my wife anymore. It makes me wonder if, while I'm doing the right thing by staying with my wife and family, our marriage will simply be one where we love each other, have feelings and make love here and there, but not be one of passionate love. I honestly don't know if I was ever in love with my wife. How do I fall in love with her after a year-long affair with someone I'm still pining for?

Thank you Samuel, for reminding me that there are men who have the fortitude to speak truth on such difficult subject matter with conviction. On this subject, it's very much required and I'm glad to see you being so frank. This was the reason why my relationship ultimately failed. Some people just don't have the maturity to face the consequences of their actions. I was never offered up any sort of explanation which satisfied, just excuses and deflection and more lies. A spouse cannot stay in that abandoned place for too long and I had to make a choice to leave. If I had stayed, I would have drowned in the anger, the only place to go when your emotions are being minimized and rejected. I pray that others, who still have time and the right heart condition, will listen to your wise words, consider them carefully and follow through. God bless us all in these hard times, especially the children. My heart is heavy but very encouraged to see others are trying where some have not. When a child of God succeeds, the world is a little better for it.