A man’s self-image is important. The world teaches us that men are supposed to be strong, courageous, wise, and unemotional.
I was a husband, a father, a provider. I was “tough”...
When the world hit me I hit back.
When I was in pain I rubbed dirt in the wound and got back on the field. I didn't have any need for emotions (except anger). I was in control. I was respected and wise.
Or at least I thought I was.
Then D-day hit. I cried for days. I lost 20 lbs in a month, threw up more times than I can remember. I was dazed. All I wanted was for the pain to go away. I was a complete basket case and the furthest thing from a “man” that I could imagine. I was facing a complete identity crisis. How could I reconcile my beliefs of what a man is with my current beliefs and behaviors? Was I just a weak, emotional, wimp? How could I call myself wise when my wife was...
Today Samuel shares stories about having an inner circle around you to save you from you.
Samuel shares about the day Samantha informed him she wanted a separation and what it did for their recovery.
Samuel shares practical insight into what really goes on at the EMS Weekend. A post from: https://www.affairrecovery.com/our-blog
Samuel discusses the common struggles the unfaithful spouse has with during their affair.
Samuel shares insight into how to manage the pain we experience due to infidelity.
Samuel shares insight into a dark moment early on in recovery and how to make it through similar dark moments in the recovery process.
I grew up in a very broken family. My parents divorced when I was around two years old and I never really knew my biological father. My mother was an alcoholic who drank and smoked her life away. We were very poor, I remember a time when the only thing we had in the cupboard was half of a jar of peanut butter. My mother was married before and I have 3 half-brothers from 2 different fathers. I never had a father figure in my life. None of the fathers stuck around. In the toughest times we boys, were passed around to relatives that could take care of us. After high school, I entered the Army. After my training, I returned home to find my mother had moved. No forwarding address. I was on my own.
Needless to say, my childhood was rough.
But, I’m happy to say I survived. I worked hard, received the right help, and broke free from my past. Nevertheless, there are scars from my many battles.
From my perspective God had let me down....
Samuel answers a question from a viewer on what if my spouse doesn't respond to boundaries.
Recently, a client shared with me this text she received from a friend:
"Saw your post today and had to respond. A woman who decided to choose family over female pride, I admire you. You have more strength than most. It's easy to bail to try to prove strength to others...I didn't want to say before, but it IS for each woman to decide herself which path she chooses to take. Just because you choose to stay, doesn't mean you're weak. As a matter of fact, it takes a stronger woman to stay! Most take the path of least resistance, it takes a mountain of a woman to stay and fight!"
I understand the pain men and women experience who choose to work on their relationships after betrayal. In days gone by it was divorce that branded one with shame, but today, the shame of "staying" trumps the shame of divorce. Was it the same back in 1984 when I blew Stephanie's life up with my infidelity? I think not. For her, back in 1984, buying a book on infidelity was mortifying. Surely the woman at the checkout could see the truth - her husband had cheated and what followed was a long list of other stereotypical...
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