Thank you so much for talking about hysterical bonding. I'm 10+ years from d-day, and this is the first time I've heard anyone mention it. To be fair, I never mentioned my experience with it to my therapist because I was ashamed to be so angry and heartbroken and simultaneously so infatuated. Who would do that?? After my unfaithful husband and I would have passionate sex, I would fantasize about setting fire to the bed while he was in it, which just increased my feeling that I was completely unhinged, desperate, etc. But also I suspected that the great sex was the only thing holding me in my marriage long enough to find out whether it could be brought back from the ashes. It definitely was a phase that wore off, but it may have given us the time we needed to get out of panic mode and start dealing with the underlying issues. Thank you for being the first helpful resourse I found after d-day, months before I could bear to tell anyone else what had happened, and for continuing to be helpful a decade later.