The #1 Question: WHY Did the Affair Happen?
The question of "WHY" is often the greatest source of anguish for couples reeling from infidelity, yet it can also be the very path toward lasting healing. In episode 10, our expert therapists explore how understanding the root causes of an affair allows the betrayed to find a way to trust again and helps the unfaithful avoid relapse by learning from the past. While you may never fully comprehend every detail, discovering the "why" is a critical step to getting your life and marriage back.
What type of affair was it?
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i am sorry for the additional
In reply to Why???? by 855299
I am sorry for the additional hurt and the questioning of yourself that followed. "Why?" is absolutely an appropriate question to ask, and it needs to be asked. At the same time, the answers given by an unfaithful spouse, especially in early recovery, are usually their rationalizations or justifications for the acting out, not the real why. At most they will share their best guess, and whatever they say, it is usually painful.
I do think that it is a question to ask, but you may have to wait until they've done some work to get a real answer as to what led to this.
One thing to know is that you are not to blame, it is not because of what you did or didn't do. His actions and his choices are his to own. You didn't cause them. Blessings to you.
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