Q&A Can a Sex Addict Simply Choose to Not Act Out?

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Question: 

My husband thinks he can choose not to have sex with other women. He thinks he needs to do a 12 step program for his problem with lust in general. The intrusive thoughts are what he says are really the problem. He still has a choice to act on them, but he can't choose not to have the thoughts right now. He is not addicted to pornography. He doesn't like it or strip bars because there is no fulfillment in it. He likes real women and real sex and has turned to prostitutes for 7 years. He says he's happy in our marriage and that I'm not the problem and our sex life is great. But this is our 2nd DDay and I don't want to stay with someone who is not going to get the help he needs to make the relationship safe for me. I can't trust that he can just choose not to act out because he's said that before and now he's cheated on me with 17 women (as far as he can recall). I'm completely repulsed and yet I also love him. We are in EMS Online now. I am in Harboring Hope. I honestly don't know if he would benefit from Hope for Healing or if he really needs a 12 step program and individual counseling. He is attending Celebrate Recovery but he is not in a step study or currently working the steps.

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Thank you for answering my

Thank you for answering my question. This is very helpful!

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