Q&A Does My Husband’s Behavior Qualify as Sexual Addiction?

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We have been married 14 years. My husband had an 8-month physical affair that was exposed 3 months ago. Constant erotic text messaging and frequent oral sex meet-ups were the high for him. He chose to have Covenant Eyes on his devices our entire marriage but got a new computer at work and was watching porn during the affair. He has repented and says he messed up and wants to be home. We are in Week 5 of EMS Online. Also coming into the light are years of once a day masturbation (since puberty) using images stored in his mind of me, porn, and the affair partner. I have asked him, and our counselor supported me, to allow me to connect instead of self-soothing. Give me a chance to take care of him in the bedroom if he has an urge, get me on the phone, or share with me when he has masturbated and what he thought of; hopefully me, if not please confess it. It seems like compulsive behavior and he is having a hard time giving up. The pathway is cemented and strong and he is extremely uncomfortable talking about it. I don’t think this one affair or the porn sound like a sex addiction but what about all together? Is it a sex addiction if he chooses to still masturbate alone instead of with his partner or to cope with negative emotions or combat PTSD? Is Hope for Healing a good next step for him?



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