Q&A How Can We Create Safe Boundaries with Social Media?

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My husband of 28 years had a seven-year emotional affair with his coworker, and seven other shorter flirting relationships. We are doing EMSO, and he seems to have motivation to change. He tells he has no need to act this way anymore. All his affairs started the same way: young female student/ coworker asked to be his contact in social media or complimented him. He accepted the request, started messaging, got friendly, started flirting... 90% of his actions were online: LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, texting, email, dating sites, internet porn. After D-day 9 months ago, we created messaging rules, and he was convinced that nothing will ever happen again. Twice has he acted out since then. First overly friendly texting with a mother of our daughters’ friend, and now, during EMSO, he accepted female clients contact request in social media, liked her posts and started mutual flattering. My safety is ruined. He says he’s sorry, and ashamed, but doesn’t seem to be as worried as I am, which worries me even more. I wish he would see this is as a bigger issue: not just for my safety, but for himself. I hope he would actively suggest new stricter boundaries, to avoid this in the future, but he hasn’t taken initiative. I asked if he could leave social media completely, but he didn’t want to discuss about it. Maybe he thinks it hinders his career.



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