My wife told me she wanted to leave last May. The marriage has been crumbling for a long while and the last several years are increasingly bad. I had depression, said many unkind/mean/belittling things to/about her, shut down emotionally, etc. She moved out recently and we've told both families and kids we're getting divorced. I've accepted responsibility for my part in this. Neither family knows of the affair. I've spoken to her siblings but she said she will never speak to me again if I tell. It’s not about hurting/getting back at her. Her brother is convinced of an affair and her sister has asked. Her parents said they want to respect our privacy and reasons are our own, they love and support us and I’m still family, they’re concerned about the kids. Her whole family is hurting and doesn’t understand. I want them to know I tried my hardest and loved her best I could, but she refused it all. She’s leaving for the affair partner who’s left his family for her. She will see this as betrayal and likely get mean in divorce. I stand to lose a LOT as a trailing spouse. Sin flourishes in the dark without consequences. What do I do?