Q&A What Boundaries Can We Set around This Relationship?

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Question: 

I found out that my husband shared intimate photos of me with his best friend for years. He also shared very intimate information about me regarding sex. He asked his best friend to flirt with me and try to get me to open up with him. My husband repeatedly brought this guy into our bedroom via telling me fantasy stories during sex about his best friend watching me. He also has wished for me to have sex with his best friend. I have been crushed by this friendship they have and really struggle getting past it. I have wanted him to cut off that friendship, but he can't see how toxic it's been. All he can say is that they're both not currently sharing those kinds of things, and he wants me to just believe him. All he can see is that he'd be losing a friend he doesn't want to lose. While I understand that might be hard, I wish he could understand that I've lost EVERYTHING due to his betrayal in this way along with the 4 years of affairs I recently also found out about. Trust around this friendship is a MAJOR barrier for me. What can be done to set boundaries around this friendship my husband has? I can't get past it to be open and vulnerable with my husband because all I can see is the past hurts of all he shared with his friend. I feel he should cut off that friendship but he won't. What boundaries or accountability can be set up that will actually PROVE to me that they're being Godly men and not smutting me?

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