Q&A Why Would the Unfaithful Shame the Betrayed?

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My husband had an affair that lasted years. We are 9 months from D-Day. He has not been intimate with me for years. In the last couple months we have grown closer with kissing and touching. But now he shames me because of it. He calls me desperate. He says how could I let him touch me when I can't be close emotionally and be able to carry on normally. I have forgiven him for the infidelity and tried to rationally say you are my husband, I never stopped loving you and didn't betray my vows. There is no shame in this, I am your wife. He was the one who wanted to have sex and will not tell me he loves me and now starts to shame me?? I don't understand if this is his way of transferring his guilt and shame but this has set me back. Why would he shame me?



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