Betrayed partners are constantly looking for safety from the unfaithful partner. But how do you know they are safe and what are a few signs or markers one can look for to determine if they appear serious about their own recovery work? Today Samuel shares a few examples of safety both from his own story as well as almost two decades worth of experience helping those in crisis. While safety is a necessity in post infidelity recovery work it's not always easy to know who is exhibiting safe behavior and who is exhibiting unsafe behavior. Filled with humor, passion and grit, today's video reveals signs the unfaithful isn't quite serious about repair work.
The hard and sometimes messy choices you made in response to fear or from a place of trauma do not define you, nor make you a bad person. You did the best you could with the knowledge you had.
- Dr. Caroline Leaf
Any ordinary life contains regrets, but betrayal generates a whole new level. I'm sure most of us could...
When a spouse or partner is serious about repairing the damage of their affair or addiction on their loved ones, the simple truth is, you can see it. You can feel it in their voice, you see it in their demeanor and you notice it in their overall approach to recovery work. But what are those indicating signs and where can you find them? Today Samuel shares just a few but palatable signs that the unfaithful is growing, healing and actually doing work to heal the damage their choices have caused in everyone around them. While not an exhaustive list, it's a list from the foxhole of recovery that I'm sure you'll walk away from feeling encouraged, informed and comforted by a fellow survivor of infidelity.
Hope for Healing Registration Soon! Space Is Limited!
Designed specifically for wayward spouses, Hope for Healing is a supportive, nonjudgmental environment for you to heal and develop empathy. Over the years, this 17-week, small group course has helped thousands of people find hope, set healthy boundaries and move toward extraordinary lives.
"I just finished Hope for Healing and am proud of the changes that I already feel in myself and my marriage. I found Affair Recovery when I was at the darkest point in my life, and this course has helped me to get myself on a true path to recovery." - S., Alabama | November 2020 Hope for Healing participant.
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The last thing any partner needs when trying to heal from infidelity is more wounding. The road to recovery is hard enough without any added complications and land mines to navigate. But how do you tell the difference between what is toxic and what is normal? How do you properly and compassionately understand your partner's response even though it may be harsh? Is it justified or is it just out of entitlement or rage? Today Samuel discusses four of the most prevalent toxic responses on the road to healing for both the unfaithful and betrayed
"We get what we need by walking through what we never wanted."
-Ann Voskamp
I'm not one of those guys who has it all together, but I'm sure you can relate. Sometimes, it feels like there's no way to survive the pain being generated by circumstances in our life. Betrayal is a pain like no other, but there are many other painful situations that can knock the stuffing out of you too.
Join other betrayed mates on the path to healing with our life-changing Harboring Hope online course and start a better, brighter chapter.
I was having a conversation with my Affair Recovery editor recently, and we talked about the motivation behind my decision to blog about infidelity. It can be emotionally heavy, and logistically difficult amidst work, home, and family responsibilities, particularly as I continue to devote time and energy to therapy and recovery work. So what made me want to do this?
Infidelity creates an isolation like nothing else.
In the many years during and after my husband's affair he would not admit to anything. Just flat out denial of my legitimate suspicions, like I was just crazy for asking. I lived in limbo, knowing I did not have the truth,...
For decades betrayed partners have shared vehemently how they feel they are the ones having to console or care for their unfaithful partners after the disclosure of an affair. It's a thorn in the side of a generation of betrayed partners who feel like they are the true victims in this equation, yet they are paralyzed by an unfaithful partner who continues to make the situation more about them than the betrayed. Furthermore, any time the betrayed feels like they are not OK and show emotion, the unfaithful (in this particular situation) become distressed as well and oftentimes show their distress with defensiveness, anger, rage and deflection. Today Samuel pinpoints why unproductive and sometimes harmful reactions like this happen in the...
About a decade ago, my daughter decided she'd like to get hitched. There were a couple of serious contenders along the way that I'd like to tell you about.
I remember when she brought her first serious boyfriend home to meet the family. As her father, I felt it my duty to vet this young man. I wanted to know what type of metal he was made of. Was he good enough for my girl? I loaded my pickup with axes and chainsaws and took him out to the back of our property to do a little land clearing. Much to my chagrin, he hurt his back in the first hour and spent the rest of the weekend in bed.
After depositing him at the airport for his trip home, my daughter came in and asked what I thought. Her mom...
Cover more ground faster with the life-changing experience of EMS Weekend for couples.
During EMS Weekend, we won't shame the unfaithful spouse nor blame the betrayed spouse. What we will do is pair you with a small community of other couples and an expert therapist - all of whom have experienced infidelity firsthand - as well as provide comprehensive resources to help you kick-start your healing journey.
Be sure to check out the brand new video at the bottom of this article!
Have you decided to make the life you currently have better? Or do you, like many others, feel paralyzed and unable to take the next step? If you feel as though you're stuck, due to being...
