Samuel discusses one of the number one reasons couples don't make it in recovery or marriage.
Samuel answers a viewers question on why the unfaithful will often times withdraw in recovery work.
Last week we talked about why locking the door is absolutely necessary in recovery. This week I'm going to tell you how to lock the door. If you fail to plan, you've intrinsically planned to fail. Recovery is not for the faint of heart. To succeed over the long haul, you'll need to create a plan for yourself and your marriage to be prepared when a tempting situation arises. Remember, even on your best day you are still most likely only 60 percent sure change is what you want. Make sure you do not fall victim to easily avoidable traps by using this guide to lock the door once and for all.
The first key to...
Samuel shares suggestions for the betrayed spouse in rediscovering the unfaithful's heart.
Hide and seek. This is a game my kids play for hours, even now as teenagers. There is such terror and anxiety in the moments you are waiting but the best part of the whole game is the feeling you get when you are found. I remember when my girls were little and would find great hiding spots. They were so excited they would often yell out, “I’m in here, come find me!” I often wonder why the game was so delightful for them. I’m guessing it had something to do with the smile and embrace they received upon discovery. If that was the case for everyone hiding, who wouldn’t want to be found?
Oh, how saddened I am to think of how we, the unfaithful spouses, have sorely misapplied and manipulated the rules to this game. D day (discovery day) was the most painful day in my husband’s life. And if you were anything...
Samuel shares pointers on how to help the unfaithful rediscover the betrayed's heart.
Sad to say many people aren't when it comes to ending an affair.
As the old saying goes, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions," but behavior doesn't always follow our intentions. Locking the door is about avoiding self-sabotage.
Steph and I have a friend who's a flight attendant. She's nice enough, but years of service in the airline industry transformed her into a safety czar. Not only do seat belts have to be fastened appropriately, but everything has to be...
Samuel shares pivotal insight on how to navigate the transition of recovery work.
Samuel provides framework to one of the most sensitive questions a betrayed spouse can ask their unfaithful spouse.
Who is your confidant? Who do you reach out to when you need to talk? Not just for friendly chit-chats about the latest movie or daily frustrations over child care. But who do you pour out your heart to when you're sad, lonely, scared or angry? More importantly, who listens to your deepest fears, heartache and pain over the betrayal you're living with?
Have you found a confidant that you trust, that special someone who is there when you need to cry, mourn, yell or just sit and be held?
Susan was that person for me. She drove twenty hours over two days so I wouldn't be alone in those first dark days after learning about my husband's affair. She kept me sane and grounded. Susan made sure I ate, listened without judgment, and held me when I cried. She didn't leave until she was sure I would be okay and then regularly called to ask how I was doing...
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