As I wrote in my previous blog article, “Is He Worth It?” my husband is capable of both enormous deception and immense change. So the other day when he contributed to a trigger I could have sat and fumed about why I put up with his actions. But instead I did something that I’ve been doing for three years post D-day. I acted intentionally. After asking myself for the hundredth time why I put up with him I then answered myself for the hundredth time with my personal recovery mantra:
My husband is worth another chance.
My husband is capable of great change.
I’m stronger than I think, braver than I believe.
My husband is a cheater. He committed what could quite possibly be seen as the most selfish act a husband can do to the woman he promised to cherish forever. How can I not look at him as a cheater? That's what he is. But that's not all he is. If I’m committed to recovery, fully committed, and my husband is too, then I can't let the...
Samuel offers help for the unfaithful spouse on how to handle a conflict with their betrayed spouse.
Samuel offers perspective into handling and processing fear as an unfaithful or betrayed spouse.
Samuel shares helpful insight for the betrayed spouse on dealing with anger throughout the course of infidelity and disclosure.
Samuel shares insight into why the unfaithful spouse is angry and how to process through it.
Samuel shares insight on one of the key approaches by the betrayed which prevents healing in his third part of the mini series.
Part 1: https://www.affairrecovery.com/survivors/samuel/blockages-healing-part-1 Part 2: https://www.affairrecovery.com/survivors/samuel/blockages-healing-part-2
Sex and intimacy are such big topics and it seems all couples struggle with one or both in some way. Couples that say they don’t struggle in either area are either the rare exception or more likely, they are not giving you the full story.
My wife and I always struggled with sex, me wanting it all the time, her not so much. She has always struggled with enjoying sex. She can never seem to relax enough to get any enjoyment. In fact, our sex struggle was one of the reasons for her affair. She thought that maybe she had just married the wrong guy and that maybe sex with someone else would be better. It wasn't. In fact, she said it was a disaster.
To be truthful I thought that after the affair and our recovery process, my wife was going to turn into the sexual companion I always wanted. That didn't happen either. It was in fact, quite a disappointment at first.
I received some wise words from a trusted counselor...
Samuel continues his mini-series on what mindsets prevent healing in recovery. Part 1: https://www.affairrecovery.com/survivors/samuel/blockages-healing-part-1
Samuel shares factors which prevent the betrayed spouse from trusting again.
Eleven days after D-day and moving in with his Affair Partner my husband returned home so we could see if our marriage was worth saving. For a couple of hours that evening we sat together reading old letters and looking at old pictures. The tough conversations would come later but that night while reminiscing about our past we connected in a way we hadn’t in years.
My husband and I met our sophomore year of high school when I was 15 and he was 16. He was the first boy I ever dated. We went our separate ways and dated other people but after graduation, we reconnected freshman year of college and were engaged. Sure I was only 18 and he 19 but we were meant to be together, or so we thought. Yet six weeks before our wedding he pulled a stunt that forced us to cancel our carefully made plans. Over the next couple of years, the post office was kept busy with our letters and cards going back and forth. But we eventually called it off. I went overseas for a couple of...
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