I am struggling with triggers in general. We are 4 months past discovery. My husband of 37 years had an affair with a co-worker for over 3-1/2 years. About 1 month after D-Day, I found a letter he wrote to his affair partner that included financial plans for him to move to another town with her. We sold our house, which was mainly his idea, right before discovery. Prior to that, he made comments, that we should sell everything and go our separate ways. We are committed to trying to make us work, but we have not recommitted to our marriage. I am in Harboring Hope, we are in couple's therapy and he has just started watching AR videos. While we were shopping last night, I started feeling very agitated, upset and even nauseated. I don’t know if it was from seeing all of the Christmas decorations or that we were shopping for some home improvements. He wants to “fix up” the rental home; which I feel is a waste of money. He also asked me what I want for Christmas. I couldn’t stop the thoughts of wondering what gifts he had given her and I felt angry that I helped pay for them. I haven’t told him any of this yet, as I am having a hard time processing it myself. Should I ask him what gifts he gave her or just try to put it out of my mind?