Q&A Is It Unreasonable to Expect My Mate to Be Honest about Their Needs?

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Is it unreasonable for me, the unfaithful spouse, to expect my mate to be honest about what they need from me? My wife stays home and provides care for our 3 young children. I know the pain I’ve caused makes that job almost impossible and some days are days I need to choose her and my kids over my job. But is it unreasonable to expect her to tell me when that choice is necessary? Otherwise I don’t honestly know how to distinguish the really bad horrible days from the impossible days. If I have an idea that it might be one of those days and I ask her if she needs me to stay home and she responds “no”? Am I supposed to always know when “no” means “yes” and if I get it wrong ... does that make me an uncaring, unloving and unworthy partner for her to continue with given my past betrayal. I’m truly fearful if I don’t be careful I’m going to lose my job as I’ve been putting my wife and kids before my job a lot lately. I’m the sole financial provider and we don’t have family money to fall back on.



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