Affair Recovery

Samuel uses a well known parable to illustrate what it takes to heal from betrayal.

But blessed is the one who trusts in Me alone;
the Eternal will be his confidence.
He is like a tree planted by water,
sending out its roots beside the stream.
It does not fear the heat or even drought.
Its leaves stay green and its fruit is dependable, no matter what it faces.
Jeremiah 17:7-8

We live on...

Samuel shares insight into a common struggle for couples in recovery.

Samuel discusses what happens when betrayed spouses consider forgiving their spouse too early in recovery.

Samuel shares pivotal insight surrounding the need for the right process in recovering from infidelity.

Two years ago, I had my first d day. Wow, how my life has changed since. I find myself fighting darkness again lately. Perhaps it's the anniversary, perhaps its fatigue, perhaps it's a little bit of a lot of things… so I write to clear my head. This blog is simply the ramblings of a betrayed man in the weeds.

We recently moved. Some events in my working life late last year instigated a domino effect that resulted in my...

Samuel shares the truth behind the statement: if you loved me you would have never cheated on me.

Samuel shares what remorse sounds and looks like for those in crisis.

Samuel helps those who feel stuck in their recovery.

When I hear the words liar or cheater, I get a yucky and icky feeling in my stomach. I do not have the strength to face the realization that all of us are broken, without also knowing all people are able to choose humility and redemption. If I don't accept the possibility for change and repentance, I will drown in a spiral of shame.

It is hard to look back on my life and admit or pinpoint when I started telling lies instead of the truth. Like water is to a fish, it is something I have always lived with. That might sound strange to some, but perhaps a better way to explain would be to say that I have always lived with fear. Fear and anxiety that the truth is often an ugly thing, and I didn't see much repentance, acceptance, or forgiveness in my family of origin.

I do recall...

Chances are if you are reading this, you are waiting for something. I remember early on in our recovery from my infidelity, it seemed that I was waiting mostly for some sort of relief from the circumstances I had created. I was lost in a complete shame spiral, and I wanted relief! I wanted the pain to go away. I have to admit now, I also was so ready for my husband to not be in pain anymore. I humbly can't even say I was healthy enough that I wanted healing for us. I only wanted relief.

When we first...

Samuel answers a viewers question about what to do when their betrayed spouse won't get help.

Samuel shares a monumental recovery tool for those who are trying to get unstuck in their recovery work.

I am writing this as I sit on a flight to a sunny destination with my husband; the same man who has courageously fought to give our marriage another chance.

So much has changed in our lives over the past few years. We have aged. We have toughened. We are different now. The innocence we once had is gone.

Yet many things about us remain strangely familiar: our quirks and idiosyncrasies. One example of this, is that we are not...