Understanding the Ego and Self-Shaming Tactics While Trying to Heal from Infidelity

Some of the worst battles I've found myself in have been with my ego and self-shaming tendencies. I've learned, after countless sleepless nights and awful bouts of depression, that we cannot 'self-shame' our way into healing, restoration or wellness. Hating ourselves will never move us to a healthier place. We may lose weight. We may develop a healthy new habit or excel in the gym, but in terms of finding our more mentally and emotionally balanced selves, we will fail miserably. Believe me; I've tried and failed more times than I can count. Freedom is found through compassion and forgiveness, for ourselves and of course, those who have hurt us. The ego, while more obviously complicated for the unfaithful side to navigate, can also be agonizing for the betrayed spouse to wrestle through, in unexpected ways. The good news is, when we begin to understand this war, we can actually start to win, slowly but surely. When we identify where these self-shaming tactics originate from, we can disarm them and begin to identify ways we can overcome, find freedom and actually heal.

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Designed specifically for wayward spouses, Hope for Healing is a supportive, nonjudgmental environment for you to heal and develop empathy. Over the years, this 17-week, small group course has helped thousands of people find hope, set healthy boundaries and move toward extraordinary lives.

"I just finished Hope for Healing and am proud of the changes that I already feel in myself and my marriage. I found Affair Recovery when I was at the darkest point in my life, and this course has helped me to get myself on a true path to recovery." — S., Alabama | November 2020 Hope for Healing participant.

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