Understanding the Ego and Self-Shaming Tactics While Trying to Heal from Infidelity

Some of the worst battles I've found myself in have been with my ego and self-shaming tendencies. I've learned, after countless sleepless nights and awful bouts of depression, that we cannot 'self-shame' our way into healing, restoration or wellness. Hating ourselves will never move us to a healthier place. We may lose weight. We may develop a healthy new habit or excel in the gym, but in terms of finding our more mentally and emotionally balanced selves, we will fail miserably. Believe me; I've tried and failed more times than I can count. Freedom is found through compassion and forgiveness, for ourselves and of course, those who have hurt us. The ego, while more obviously complicated for the unfaithful side to navigate, can also be agonizing for the betrayed spouse to wrestle through, in unexpected ways. The good news is, when we begin to understand this war, we can actually start to win, slowly but surely. When we identify where these self-shaming tactics originate from, we can disarm them and begin to identify ways we can overcome, find freedom and actually heal.

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I really needed to hear this

I really needed to hear this message this morning. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with shame and ego. I am very fresh on this recovery journey and come from a place of spirituality vs faith. I appreciate your inclusion for those of us who don't have a journey with faith. Truly it makes an impact for all of us to feel we can be helped.
I searched for resources on AR with regard to shame this morning because I'm swimming in it, and this video brought me some calm. Thank you so much for your vulnerability and sharing. And wishing you all the best in this new year of life honoring yourself, your family and your father's legacy.

incredibly kind of you...

thank you for the great feedback.  it means so much and I appreciate your support so much.  I too wish you all the best and hope I can help in some small way.  Take care for now and if I can help at all please let me know. 

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I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas