Welcome

As past participants, we want our walks through infidelity to bring hope, inspiration, and courage to your own journey.
, 3 months 2 weeks ago

The famous mantra "Progress Not Perfection" is a well-known but sometimes misunderstood phrase when it comes to recovery from addiction. Perfectionism in recovery is not a positive thing; since no one is perfect, when you fall short of being perfect in your recovery journey, shame and discouragement enter in. This spiral of negative feelings can often make recovering addicts fall right back into their unhealthy patterns again. However, when you shift the mindset to...

, 3 months 2 weeks ago

It seems like it would be a no-brainer, that after disclosure, the unfaithful spouse would display significant empathy and compassion for the betrayed spouse in their pain. While understandable and reasonable, it's simply not always the case. But why is that? After a spouse has been unfaithful, betrayed their partner, and broken their heart, why would they further traumatize the betrayed partner, with blaming,...

, 3 months 3 weeks ago

One of my favorite authors, Richard Rhor, states over and over again in his writings that we can choose to 'transmit our pain... or transform our pain.' I've seen me at my worst, and I can be an expert at transmitting my pain to friends, family, innocent bystanders, umpires, you name it. I've also experienced the rich and lasting feeling when I have been able to see my own inner pain transformed into a vessel to...

, 4 months 1 day ago

It's quite easy for couples to address life, marriage, and even recovery after infidelity or addiction with a transactional approach - "let's just fix this and move on.” Yet, this transactional approach to repair work never leads to a transformative experience, typically resulting in a 'go along to get along' mentality. When couples hit this point, restoration is extremely difficult, and true healing...

, 4 months 1 week ago

When first starting out on the road to recovery from an affair or sexual addiction, many people want a quick fix - a book, a video, a weekend retreat to cure them, so their lives can get back to normal as soon as possible. However, the best approach to truly heal is to view recovery as a lifelong process. For true transformation to take place, you need to examine the root causes of behaviors and thoughts, and it is vital to assemble a program to help you stay successful...

, 4 months 1 week ago

Rick Reynolds, the founder and lead therapist at AffairRecovery.com, oftentimes says we learn far more from failure than we can ever learn in success. It's a principle that can be applied in everyday life, and specifically, in recovery from infidelity or addiction. How we handle failure can determine our next phase of life, and our next phase in maturity. After an affair, the last thing we need to do is cause more...

, 4 months 1 week ago
I have learned that if I want to be true ot myself, I must start by telling the truth to my husband

I have tailored the truth to my audience for as long as I can remember.

And it started with peanuts. I attended a non-denominational Christian elementary school. One day when I was in the fourth grade, I had to stay in from recess for a reason I don't recall. To ease my pain and disappointment of missing out on the best part of the school day, my friend told me that I could have some of the peanuts she had in her lunch box. So, while the class was outside, I helped...

, 4 months 2 weeks ago

Today you'll hear five key factors that can either stall your recovery or actually speed it up. That's right; you did read that correctly: your healing can be accelerated if you utilize these five key principles and tools. Alternatively, if you choose to ignore these tools, your own repair work will most likely be stalled out. Surviving infidelity is not impossible, but it does require proven strategy from those who have...

, 4 months 3 weeks ago

The point of discovery of infidelity in a marriage is arguably the worst moment in both the unfaithful and the betrayed partner's lives. Emotions on both sides are high and often irrational, and fear and uncertainty about the future are drivers of many high-intensity interactions in the early days following disclosure. While these initial responses are natural, the unfaithful partner has an opportunity to take charge of their own response to kick-start a healthy...

, 4 months 3 weeks ago

Emotional boundaries are essential if a couple is going to survive the upheaval of infidelity or addiction. A boundaryless recovery will exacerbate all parties, including children, extended family, and even mental health professionals attempting to help. Utilizing emotional boundaries in everyday life can be hard enough, and to expect that the use of these boundaries will be easy in dealing with infidelity would not only be unrealistic, but inconsiderate of the pain and trauma we encounter early in...

, 4 months 4 weeks ago

For decades, mental health professionals have stressed the need to have a healthy self-image in life. From self-love, to self-actualization, how we see ourselves is a true game changer, not only in our primary relationships, but also in life. How much more should our self-image be repaired after the disclosure of infidelity? After betrayal trauma enters the picture, our lives seem to completely unravel, and we find ourselves looking for any handle to hold onto in order...

, 5 months 1 day ago
I probably won't forget things, but i certainly can grow from them. And if I can be honest with myself, I can smile at where I am today versus where I was last year.

Strong winds are blowing outside and the cold is hard to deny. We're in the cusp of springtime, and just a few days ago it was nice and in the 70s. A familiar heaviness burdens me, and it's hard to shake off. I pray and am tired. I know I want to get up and go and do things. I have things to do, but I refuse to write this off as lazy. It's my day off; however, I just seem a little weak or unmotivated, which is...

, 5 months 5 days ago

Today you'll hear from our newest video blogger, Mickey. Have you ever considered that there may be benefits to addiction recovery work? Maybe you're wondering 'can anything good ever come of my addiction?' Today you'll hear not only a few positives that have come out of Mickey's journey, but you'll also gain a palatable understanding of how to move through addiction into wholeness and personal restoration.

In the journey of healing, it's vital that we...

, 5 months 6 days ago

On the path of beginning to heal a relationship after infidelity, oftentimes in the middle of a fight, a spouse or partner may not know what they need in that moment. They don’t know if they need answers, comfort, direction, or to have their hand held. Science says it takes 1/200th of a second for the betrayed spouse to flood emotionally. The triggers and onslaught of emotions can come on so quickly,...

, 5 months 1 week ago
A betrayed spouse who is dealing with severe anger will need to actually grieve first, then slowly and steadily move towards forgiveness
Forgiveness - Burden or Gift

Part I: What is Forgiveness Anyway?
Part II: The Journey of a Lifetime

Last time we talked about the reality of forgiveness - what it is and what it isn't - and how forgiveness plays a vital role in recovery and potential reconciliation. So why don't people forgive? Lots of reasons. Fear, pride, anger, resentment,...

, 5 months 1 week ago

New here? Check out Episode 1!

In the spirit of this Easter and Resurrection season, today Rodney and Angela share an old hymn that celebrates the good news of the Gospel - Jesus' death, burial, and resurrection - "Jesus Paid It All." For the believer, His payment on the cross changes everything. Imagine owing a debt so large, you could never pay it off. Even the sum total of life's wages and possessions would leave you drastically...

, 5 months 1 week ago

It's no secret that infidelity is traumatizing. But what about childhood trauma? What about neglect and/or abuse as a child? The hard truth is, healing from all levels of trauma is difficult, and infidelity trauma doesn't help. When trying to heal from this type of pain, it's vital we have practical tools that we can use to find solace and ultimately, learn to self-soothe. Today, Samuel shares four tools he has used in his own journey of healing, from...

, 5 months 2 weeks ago
after the dust settles and the real work of recovery begins forgiveness is something each of us has to face
Forgiveness - Burden or Gift

Part I: What is Forgiveness Anyway?
Part II: The Journey of a Lifetime

When discussing forgiveness of marital betrayal, other words that often spring to mind include impossible, unfair, and undeserved. Some of you may have even cringed at the mention of forgiveness. I definitely understand that. I think this...

, 5 months 2 weeks ago

New here? Check out Episode 1!

Today we share what is probably known as the most popular and well-loved hymn of our time, "Amazing Grace." Simply put, grace is God's unmerited, unearned favor. GRACE could also be an acronym for God's Riches At Christ's Expense. It's Him doing for us what we could never do for ourselves. What makes grace so amazing is that as fallen, sinful people, God still loves us unconditionally. Whether you...

, 5 months 3 weeks ago
revenge-is-not-a-remedy

I can remember how heavy my brow would get, yet not realize how angry and scary I looked storming through the house... more than likely unpleasant to just be around, let alone speak to. I can imagine my whole family just mirroring how unhappy I was. And that they did.

I was too busy in my misery to even notice that my kids were sliding into a downward spiral along with me. Where was their nurturing mom now? And when I was my loving self and happy, fun, and laughing mom, it was short lived and I was almost unrecognizable, or I was not fooling...

, 5 months 3 weeks ago

New here? Check out Episode 1!

Here is a quick audio version of the song: The Angry GIFTS Song

Today we will present a fun one-minute original song to help pull back the curtain of anger to uncover the primary emotions beneath. Using the GIFTS acronym from the EMS Curriculum, we're able to practice self-awareness, self-expression, and self-management. Ephesians 4:26a instructs us to, "Be angry but do not sin." Anger, as with...

, 5 months 3 weeks ago

Healing from infidelity requires expert care in every facet of both personal and marital restoration. However, a nebulous area of healing can be found in addressing childhood wounds like neglect, abuse, and abandonment. Without an understanding of what wounds and pain we've experienced as children, we can find that the timeline for us is not only confusing, but also longer and more erratic. When we tap into the help of true trauma experts who have been through their own timeline of infidelity and...

, 6 months 25 min ago

New here? Check out Episode 1!

Today, eight years after disclosure and discovery (D-Day), in celebration of completing ten episodes, totalling over 10,000 views - Rodney and Angela present to us a raw, uncut, unplugged, and unleashed ‘Songs for the Soul’ experience! From start to finish, there’s no telling what will happen between these two. God’s grace has taken them from lamenting to laughter, and from turmoil to triumph. He has given them beauty for...

, 6 months 4 days ago

Have you ever had your unfaithful spouse blame you for their infidelity or addiction? Perhaps they've rattled off statements like "if you would have done your job, I wouldn't have had to go find love elsewhere?" Or, "if you didn't neglect me, I wouldn't have had to go somewhere else for attention, love, and sex." It's a coping mechanism the unfaithful uses to justify their actions, and one of the main problems with this thinking is that we, the unfaithful, think it's absolute truth. What's more...

, 6 months 6 days ago

Today, I came across a picture that was posted on our group's GroupMe wall a while back. A depiction of hope, a moment captured by a camera, a view of grace, healing, and growth, revealing a glimmer of rescue and new life. You've probably seen something like it, or the one I'm referring to, where determined little white flowers are growing out of a crack in an otherwise lifeless slab of concrete sidewalk.

At the time this was shared with me, and when I wrote this journal entry, feelings of hope finally started to emerge, much like the ray of light and the new life,...

, 6 months 1 week ago

New here? Check out Episode 1!

Many of the old hymns have a special place in our hearts. Today's song, "It Is Well," is no exception to that. The lyrics were penned by Horatio Spafford after tragedy suddenly struck his family. As you hear the story recounted along with the melodious tunes, may your burden be lifted and your load lighter. The trauma and weight of infidelity doesn't have to continue to suffocate you. As we sing over you, we're praying for supernatural peace - even in the...

, 6 months 1 week ago

Finding survivors of either their own infidelity or their spouse's, who are also willing to publicly talk about their story, is no easy task. From the public shame, to the fear of being known for such painful life choices, to the uneasiness of telling your story in public, it's just not easy. Today you'll get to know Stephanie, a fearless survivor of her husband's infidelity, addiction, and child out of wedlock. As we talk, you'll hear a down to earth, "I'm not superwoman; I'm just someone who did the...

, 6 months 1 week ago

Being loved is a hard concept to grasp when our dreams lie shattered around us, and the God whom we thought loved us, has let them shatter.

Vaneetha Risner

If the title of this blog gave the impression that I have the answer to this question, I want to let you know up front that I don't. I am still in the trenches and I wrestle with this often. I wondered if someone else might too, so I decided to talk about...

, 6 months 2 weeks ago

New here? Check out Episode 1!

Here is a quick audio version of the song: A Husband's Prayer

As husbands, we have the unique privilege of covering our wives in prayer. Whether they are the hurt spouse, the unfaithful one, or even both - they need someone fighting for the good of their heart, soul, and mind. And make no mistake about it, all wives need prayer, including yours. Today we offer up a prayer in song petitioning God for their blessing and healing. We also pray for God...

, 6 months 2 weeks ago

Trying to heal from your partner's affair, or your own, can seem like an impossible task. But what about when there is a child from an affair? What if they are a sex addict? What if you don't feel like you even love your partner now? While all hard-hitting, complicated questions, I am happy to tell you there are answers. Oftentimes, we believe people who have actually healed from seemingly impossible pain and trauma are better answers than mere words. Today you'll meet heroes of ours at affairrecovery...

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