Welcome

As past participants, we want our walks through infidelity to bring hope, inspiration, and courage to your own journey.
, 2 months 4 weeks ago

Samuel discusses a classic problem couples in crisis face when trying to heal from infidelity or addiction.

, 3 months 1 day ago

Samuel shares insight behind the need to choose your spouse.

, 3 months 5 days ago
Car Washes in the Dark

My husband and I have two teenagers in our house, and we are trying our best to raise them into responsible and caring adults. For those of you that have already been there and done that, I'm hoping you can look back on that time with a smile. You survived it. Teenagers, after all, can be quite fun, and they can add a lot of energy to the house.

For those of you that haven't or might not ever get a chance to raise these strange little people that look like adults and make you think they are adults (when in fact they are not), it really hasn't been as bad as some people...

, 3 months 6 days ago

Samuel discusses infidelity and how to detox from an affair partner.

, 3 months 1 week ago

Samuel helps both spouses understand how to address blind spots in repair work.

, 3 months 1 week ago
healing emotional vertigo

Sometimes, my thoughts are punishing, my brain on fire.

Have you experienced this?

I am someone who deserves to be understood and cherished rather than criticized and improved.

It is time to arrest the process of depletion caused by the trauma I have suffered. It's time to stop ignoring my body's signals and instead allow them the authority to teach me about myself, time to keep my life as simple and quiet as possible, to allow myself comforts of the senses and small pleasures:

  • Home cooking of familiar...
, 3 months 1 week ago

Samuel answers the question: "What does it mean to own it in repair work?"

, 3 months 2 weeks ago

Samuel answers the question of whether the betrayed spouse should be farther along than they are.

, 3 months 2 weeks ago
Affair-Recovery_Survivors-Blog_Elizabeth_What-to-do-when-betrayed-shuts-down

Unfaithful Spouses,

You have been working really hard. Since discovery, you have received a chance at a new life, and you are determined to change your behavior. You want to see crumbs of hope in your marital relationship, but all you see is pain. What is likely underneath that pain is a violation so deep that you might not even be able to comprehend it for the first year.

Maybe you feel shut out as your betrayed spouse acts in ways you don't think are...

, 3 months 2 weeks ago

Samuel shares insight from his own personal journey on finding personal healing and restoration.

, 3 months 3 weeks ago

Samuel answers a popular question from betrayed spouses.

, 3 months 3 weeks ago

Samuel discusses what contempt does to couples who are trying to heal from infidelity or addiction.

, 3 months 4 weeks ago

Samuel shares critical insight for both the unfaithful and betrayed spouse who are trying to heal.

, 4 months 3 days ago

Samuel discusses what to do when couples feel stuck.

, 4 months 6 days ago

Samuel answers a question from an unfaithful spouse.

, 4 months 1 week ago
affair-recovery_survivors-blogs_elizabeth_when-the-pain-seems-too-great

Today, my heart is reminded of the pain that once was, the pain that so many of you find yourselves in today. For me, it is a distant, tender scar. It is healing, but if I stare at it long enough or touch it in just the right ways, the pain can all come rushing back.

If you are in the middle of this kind of suffering, you are likely desperate for relief of any kind. Violently painful memories have carved your heart into pieces, and maybe you can't even remember what life looked like before this whirlwind of torment...

, 4 months 1 week ago

Samuel discusses a trap many spouses fall into when they feel their spouse won't change.

, 4 months 1 week ago

Samuel discusses a pitfall many spouses fall into after the discovery of infidelity or addiction.

, 4 months 2 weeks ago

Samuel provides direction for those who feel they can't be happy again.

, 4 months 2 weeks ago

Samuel shares encouragement and perspective for those who are trying to heal.

, 4 months 3 weeks ago
affairrecovery_survivors-blog_elizabeth_to-dream-again_dont-give-up-there-are-still-so-many-simple-pleasures-awaiting-your-notice

"Wondering if I will come to a happy place in surrender to self-care. Surrender to me. Myself. And I. Self-talk, positive affirmations of my worth. It's my time now. My season of me. I've given and given and given. No time for guilt over self-care anymore. Over rediscovering who I was…who I am apart from my spouse. I really am still me. How wonderful that she, the little girl inside, has not been extinguished?

Even through the incredible trauma of...

, 4 months 3 weeks ago

Samuel discusses a toxic struggle both unfaithful and betrayed spouses fall into.

, 4 months 3 weeks ago

Samuel shares a humorous but poignant story about shame and self hatred.

, 5 months 2 days ago

Samuel discusses tools to help the unfaithful and betrayed spouse heal despite fear of uncertainty.

, 5 months 1 week ago

Samuel shares a common mistake he would often make with Samantha that kept them stuck.

, 5 months 2 weeks ago
affair recovery-survivors blog-elizabeth-love yourself as you would love others

Self-Love.

Self-Worth.

Self-Compassion.

These are words that I have had to unlearn and relearn—words that I thought I knew, but now realize I misunderstood for most of my life. Now, they actually mean something to me.

Growing up, I would attend church with my mom and siblings. I had just enough of a smattering of church "sayings" and knowledge about the Bible to become familiar with them. But honestly, there was far more I did not understand than what I did understand....

, 5 months 2 weeks ago

Samuel shares tips on battling depression after disclosure of infidelity or addiction.

, 5 months 2 weeks ago

Samuel interviews Rob about his life before, during, and after his wife's infidelity.

, 5 months 2 weeks ago
affair recovery-survivors blog-christine-my new life a mosaic-a new life bursting of a million colors began to form something that might even be called exquisite my new life

Before what we in the infidelity community call "D-day," my life was full—full of gratitude, challenges, and mostly good. My life was nowhere near perfect—punctuated with the losses one experiences when we are lucky enough to live long enough. I had lived a largely intact existence blessed with friends, a beautiful place to call home, and good food on my table.

As a function of my positive, benefit-of-the-doubt...

, 5 months 3 weeks ago
affair-recovery_survivors-blog_elizabeth-how-could-you_i-just-choose-to-be-honest-above-all-else-in-small-things-and-big-things

This is a question that almost all of us have asked or heard at some point during recovery from infidelity. It might have been screamed in anger, or muttered in a barely audible cry of exasperation. And it is a question we often hear over and over again, "How could you?" It is a good question, and it lies at the heart and sum of all of the pain created when people like me have affairs. It is as if we look to the heavens and we cry out in our pain, a guttural "why?"

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