Welcome

As past participants, we want our walks through infidelity to bring hope, inspiration, and courage to your own journey.
, 4 months 2 weeks ago

Because the body is (at least in part) the location of our trauma—the body must also be a location of healing.

~Aundi Kolber

About a year after discovering my husband's affair, my body started to capsize under relentless waves of sickness. An illness would hit. I'd recover...

, 4 months 2 weeks ago

Post infidelity, I found myself in a new world filled with all sorts of triggers. Not only would reminders from my marriage and husband trigger me, but I was also triggered by reminders of my AP.

One notable occasion was a breakdown at a diner. The waitress asked, "what type of toast would you like? We have white, wheat, rye, and sourdough." Sourdough bread. Did she just mention sourdough bread? Memories related to sourdough bread rush to the forefront of my...

, 4 months 3 weeks ago
find some middle ground.

"The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies, it comes from those you trust the most."
~Author Unknown

You are probably familiar with the fable of the Boy Who Cried Wolf. The tale concerns a shepherd boy who intentionally and repeatedly fools villagers into believing a wolf is attacking the town's flock of sheep. He cries, “Wolf! Wolf!” to watch them all come running, but they arrive to find there is no wolf. He does this several times, and eventually, when an actual wolf appears, the boy...

, 4 months 3 weeks ago

New here? Check out S1:E1!

Let’s sing a fun, creative, and original song about self care (and discuss it too)! Rodney and Angela in this episode discuss the importance of self care, from the small things to the large. When your life is blown up from infidelity, self care is essential to ensure we don't lose ourselves while working through and recovering from...

, 6 months 2 days ago

New here? Check out S1:E1!

In this episode, Rodney and Angela sing “How Great Thou Art/Then Sings My Soul" as they discuss infidelity, hope, and healing around the holiday season. We know the holiday season can be challenging, but when we look upwards and stand in awe of everything God has done, we can find Hope. Rodney...

, 6 months 1 week ago

Finding Joy in the Holidays - Alumna Blog by Melissa Fisher

Don’t just survive the holidays; use them as a catalyst for hope, healing, and flourishing in new life by finding the Joy in them. The holidays are one of the many difficult times an individual faces when healing from infidelity and our Alumna, Melissa speaks directly to this challenge while giving your practical and real guidance, tips,...

, 6 months 3 weeks ago

New here? Check out S1:E1!

We are so excited to finally share with you a brand new season of 'Songs for the Soul' with Rodney...

, 7 months 4 weeks ago

New here? Check out Episode 1!

We are so excited to finally share with you a brand new season of 'Songs for the Soul' with Rodney...

, 8 months 3 weeks ago

New here? Check out Season 1, Episode 1!

We are so excited to finally share with you a brand new season of 'Songs for the Soul' with Rodney...

, 9 months 3 weeks ago

This is not an easy journey and it will be imperfect and awkward but when the Affair Partner is pregnant as a result of infidelity, we have learned some critical lessons about how to navigate this situation with the best interest of the child at the center while still being able to heal and recover. In this blog I will discuss these lessons and what worked for us to help you.

, 10 months 1 week ago

Woven into our basic makeup is the desire and need to “do life together”. By connecting with others - sharing openly, being honest, and not minimizing our struggles, we develop healthy stress coping mechanisms that enable us to get out of our own heads and keep our hearts and minds healthy.

, 1 year 3 months ago
If someone had told me in the beginning I could carry the happy and sad feelings at the same time I would have been horrified thinking it meant the good ones would be forced and fake. I couldn't comprehend how I would everbe able to hold these feelings side-by-side and not feel devastated every moment of the day. But what I'm experiencing now is much more peaceful.

"When you are standing in [a] forest of sorrow, you cannot imagine that you could ever find your way to a better place. But if someone can assure...

, 1 year 4 months ago

Dr. Dan Siegel introduced a phrase to help trauma survivors self-soothe entitled "Name it to tame it." It's vital we honestly name our emotions if we're going to find clarity, healing and ultimately self-compassion. The phrase isn't limited to self-soothing but also to helping our betrayed and unfaithful partners when they flood or are feeling immense triggers. While our own mental health is our...

, 1 year 4 months ago

Understanding red flags in the life of the unfaithful spouse or partner serves two purposes. One, it can help the unfaithful understand how they are being perceived by their partner (and professionals) and assist them in understanding how their behavior is impacting their betrayed partner. Two, it can help the betrayed understand that what may seem like normal, usual behavior in both the marriage...

, 1 year 4 months ago

"I don't even know who I am anymore" is one of the most common statements shared in therapeutic sessions after a spouse endeavors to heal from infidelity. They feel like they're losing themselves, or worse, have already lost themselves giving way to bouts of almost uncontrollable rage, anger and life changing trauma. The truth is, they just may be losing a version of themselves that needs to be grieved...

, 1 year 5 months ago

After an affair, the lives of both the unfaithful and the betrayed are seldom ever the same. It can feel as though that version of themselves is gone forever and they're left without any hope of returning to who they were before the affair. Attempting to go back to one's old life after disclosure can feel impossible while trying to accept this new identity can also feel unreachable. Without a guide and without a plan, those in crisis can feel disoriented and lost, oftentimes...

, 1 year 5 months ago

After the disclosure of an affair or addiction, it's normal to feel like you're drowning in hopelessness, despair and outright chaos. Today Samuel not only provides validation to that trauma but a compelling direction for those who are trying to find a pathway to healing and new life. While providing a picture of courage and tenacity, today's video moves the viewer from drowning in hopelessness to a personal revival of...

, 1 year 5 months ago

If a betrayed partner doesn't experience or see authentic empathy from their unfaithful partner, the recovery efforts of that unfaithful become suspect. "Maybe they are just trying to not lose me and/or the family?" "Maybe they don't want to change and heal, they just want to not talk about it and move on?" Those are just some of the questions the betrayed ask themselves. Today Samuel shares...

, 1 year 6 months ago

Betrayed partners are constantly looking for safety from the unfaithful partner. But how do you know they are safe and what are a few signs or markers one can look for to determine if they appear serious about their own recovery work? Today Samuel shares a few examples of safety both from his own story as well as almost two decades worth of experience helping those in crisis. While safety is a necessity in post...

, 1 year 6 months ago
it isn't fair that the aftermath of infidelity happens on top of the life that we had planned on living. That life gets derailed for a time, and that time can vary widely from person to person. But life doesn't stop for trauma or illness or death. It just keeps spinning, and eventually we catch up. But when we do, it can be a real gut punch to look back and see wht we missed.

The hard and sometimes messy...

, 1 year 6 months ago

When a spouse or partner is serious about repairing the damage of their affair or addiction on their loved ones, the simple truth is, you can see it. You can feel it in their voice, you see it in their demeanor and you notice it in their overall approach to recovery work. But what are those indicating signs and where can you find them? Today Samuel shares just a few but palatable signs that the unfaithful is...

, 1 year 6 months ago

The last thing any partner needs when trying to heal from infidelity is more wounding. The road to recovery is hard enough without any added complications and land mines to navigate. But how do you tell the difference between what is toxic and what is normal? How do you properly and compassionately understand your partner's response even though it may be harsh? Is it justified or is it just out of...

, 1 year 6 months ago
I write from the place I wish I had available to me when I first started down this path the messy middle the real and raw places to offer validation and hope for others that are like me

I was having a conversation with my Affair Recovery editor recently, and we talked about the motivation behind my decision to blog about infidelity. It can be emotionally heavy, and logistically difficult amidst work, home, and family responsibilities, particularly as I continue to devote time and energy to therapy and...

, 1 year 6 months ago

For decades betrayed partners have shared vehemently how they feel they are the ones having to console or care for their unfaithful partners after the disclosure of an affair. It's a thorn in the side of a generation of betrayed partners who feel like they are the true victims in this equation, yet they are paralyzed by an unfaithful partner who continues to make the situation more about them...

, 1 year 7 months ago

Last time in the studio, Samuel interviewed expert therapist and infidelity survivor, Amanda Asproni, on the defense mechanisms of the unfaithful spouses. Today they continue their interview but shift to defense mechanisms of the betrayed spouse. While the unfaithful are quick to utilize these deflections in an effort to reduce blame, shift focus and take the attention off themselves, the betrayed also utilize their own defense mechanisms. How...

, 1 year 7 months ago

For those of us who have been unfaithful, if we are honest with ourselves, we can admit we sometimes lack motivation to pursue help and do the hard work necessary after an affair. We struggle in being honest with others, our partner or spouse, and even ourselves. To avoid owning all of the blame for our affair(s) we will employ 'defense mechanisms'. These defense mechanisms not only delay our individual and relational healing, they cause more...

, 1 year 7 months ago
I want him to see and understand how important it is that I make this special despite the pain.

After the revelation of infidelity, memories and milestones become a very tricky landscape. Reminiscence that used to instill joy, nostalgia, and peace, can now elicit a very different set of emotions. Reflection on the past can be truly debilitating in the face of betrayal. As a whole, anniversaries, dates, seasons, etc. now carry a sting. But there is a particularly cruel mockery that enshrouds a wedding anniversary...

, 1 year 7 months ago

When couples attempt to heal from infidelity or addiction, they're faced with many staggering truths that can make or break both their own recovery and the relationship. Today Samuel points a way through the smoke and malaise of denial and loss to clarity, courage and hope for the future.

, 1 year 7 months ago

After the disclosure of an affair, the betrayed partner can feel paralyzed. Especially if the unfaithful refuses to get help of any significant type and resorts to being elusive, ambivalent or resistant. Today Samuel shares an effective tool for the betrayed partner to consider utilizing in a situation where they feel as if they have little to no influence at all. While we can't control our unfaithful partner, we can use...

, 1 year 8 months ago

Trusting again after infidelity is no easy task for the betrayed partner. The unfaithful can spend an enormous amount of energy doing what they think will help regain trust with the betrayed, only to find themselves frustrated, confused and in some cases angry at the realization that the betrayed still doesn't trust them. To many outside the arena of affair recovery, trusting again seems impossible, yet to those who have walked the road of healing and restoration, trust is in fact possible....

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