Welcome

As past participants, we want our walks through infidelity to bring hope, inspiration, and courage to your own journey.
, 9 months 1 week ago
survivors blog-Elizabeth-is infidelity hereditary-we can change our story

Is Infidelity Hereditary?

I ask myself this question a lot. I guess it's more of a fear of mine than a question. In a rational state of mind I can answer this easily: of course not. Infidelity is a choice. No one put a gun to my head and made me cross the line. No one forced me to be unfaithful. And like the source for eye color or...

, 9 months 2 weeks ago

Samuel discusses the sensitive topic of when betrayed spouses have affairs of their own.

, 9 months 2 weeks ago

Samuel discusses ways of finding support in recovery work.

, 9 months 2 weeks ago
is change really possible-survivors Blog-Chase-Should-I-Stay-or-Should-I-Go

"Should I stay or should I go? If I go, there will be trouble. If I stay, it will be double . . ."
~The Clash

I am a child of schoolhouse rock, a product of the age in which skate parks were invented, parachute pants were high...

, 9 months 2 weeks ago
Be Bold-Survivors Blog-Elizabeth-What-I-Need-From-You

Today my words come from a very insecure and needy place. Insecure because I'm trying hard to use words instead of behaviors to show how I feel and what I need. This "voice" seems childlike and continues to grow because it is still somewhat unfamiliar to me. My words might sound crazy but I promise I'm not a lunatic! My psychologist refers to me in "parts" like this, so I am going to do the same here today.

The needy...

, 9 months 3 weeks ago

Samuel shares insight on what the betrayed spouse can and should do when their unfaithful wont lead recovery efforts.

, 10 months 5 days ago

Samuel discusses a poignant topic in recovery work regarding the unfaithful spouse.

, 10 months 1 week ago

Samuel tackles a common question of betrayed spouses who are endeavoring to pursue their own healing.

, 10 months 1 week ago
forgiveness isn't an ending act, but rather the beginning of a journey - survivors blog - chase

I drive a relatively new truck so I found it especially frustrating to pull out of the dealership repair shop only to find my "check engine" light was on. Again. This was the 4th time in a month I had gone back to the same dealership for the same repair. My witty and wise 14-year-old daughter was enjoying my frustration when she asked,

"Why do you keep going back to the bad haircut place?"

"What?" I replied confused and irritated....

, 10 months 1 week ago
be humble about past and present - survivors blog - elizabeth

We are more than a year out from discovery. Some of the days have been very slow making me wonder if progress has been made. And although we now have more good days than bad, a small internal voice still occasionally asks, am I really changing?

While you, the betrayed, are trying to heal from what we, the unfaithful, have done to you, I also know you are ultimately waiting for redemption.

There are days my husband's anxiety seems to come out of nowhere. Of course I understand the root of the...

, 10 months 1 week ago

Samuel answers a viewers question on what to do when there are multiple relapses.

, 10 months 2 weeks ago

Samuel answers a viewers question on what you should do when you've lost respect for your unfaithful spouse.

, 10 months 2 weeks ago
you have what it takes to heal

Around age 10 or 11 they finally allowed us to steal bases in little league. This change transitioned the position of catcher from a simple filler spot that shagged stray pitches into an athletic position that saw action every play. I remember being pulled from the field and given the mitt. Game time came. A few pitches went by and a batter was on first. I found myself constantly distracted by the runner. As I anticipated his steal, the pitch would get by me. After multiple times I could hear the crowd's mumbled voices full of advice. I desperately began trying to apply everything I was...

, 10 months 2 weeks ago

Samuel answers a viewers question on what you should do when you've lost respect for your unfaithful spouse.

, 10 months 3 weeks ago

Samuel discusses roadblocks couples face in recovery due to a lack of safety.

, 10 months 3 weeks ago
what does change look like - Elizabeth

Today I was reminded of a story by Portia Nelson I heard long ago:

Autobiography in Five Chapters

by Portia Nelson

Chapter One:

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost...
I am hopeless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter Two:...

, 10 months 3 weeks ago

Samuel discusses roadblocks couples face in recovery due to a lack of safety.

, 10 months 4 weeks ago

Samuel interviews MJ Denis, a trauma specialist, about how couples can heal from infidelity.

, 11 months 5 days ago

Samuel interviews MJ Denis, a trauma specialist, about how couples can heal from infidelity.

, 11 months 6 days ago
There is Great Opportunity in What Lies Ahead

Our community is used to the threat of tropical weather. Usually, the early notices start with escalated threats that ultimately result in a windy rain storm passing over our area causing very little damage.

In the hours leading up to the arrival of Hurricane Michael it became obvious this storm was going to be different. At 100 miles inland, we were too far north to be part of the normal evacuation plan. Meteorologists began forecasting that the storm would still be holding hurricane strength by the time it reached us. Our home was well within the...

, 11 months 1 week ago

Samuel addresses the situation where a couple may not believe in their marriage again.

, 11 months 1 week ago

Samuel answers a viewers question and also explains why an unfaithful spouse may label their betrayed spouse controlling.

, 11 months 2 weeks ago
you are not alone. when shame has the last word - elizabeth - affair recovery survivors blog

Shame.

I hate the word. I hate the feeling. I am guessing for most of you reading this, you have more than a vague idea of what this word does to a human being and how it can be one of the most destructive forces on the planet.

I am so tired of shame.

Sure, I can sit here and look back on my life and the things that happened before I had a choice in the matter. Reflect on the things that helped shape my heart into a giant...

, 11 months 2 weeks ago

Samuel discusses when and how to use an ultimatum in recovery work.

, 11 months 2 weeks ago

Samuel shares hope and tangible encouragement for those struggling to find hope.

, 11 months 3 weeks ago
the more i grow in my own journey of self-discovery, the more i begin to see my situation from a higher level. author - chase

A good friend of mine, and fellow betrayed husband (yes, we met at an EMS weekend), coined it best when he said, "This isn't highs and lows; it's chutes and ladders." All of us on this journey have experienced the hope generated by progress. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, the bottom falls out and in the moment all hope seems lost.

Which way is up?

I am now 16 months out from my first...

, 11 months 3 weeks ago

Samuel shares a significant pointer for the unfaithful spouse trying to win back trust.

, 11 months 3 weeks ago

Samuel shares insight into three recoveries that have to be addressed when healing from infidelity.

, 11 months 3 weeks ago

Today in counseling I was stunned by a concept I’ve heard most my life. Similar to the old quilt that covers our bed, I became so familiar with it I no longer saw the depth of beauty in it.

My counselor asked me how I felt I was doing at “feeling my husband’s pain”. He has a way of asking a simple question and patiently waits for me to take as long as I need to respond. Having been a counselor for over 40 years, he sees right through me and my crap most days.

How am I doing with handling my husband’s pain? You mean the pain I created with MY infidelity?

In the silence of that moment I found myself...

, 12 months 1 day ago

Samuel shares insight into the tactic of 'rewriting history' and how to recover from it.

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