Samuel shares pivotal insight surrounding the need for the right process in recovering from infidelity.
Samuel discusses denial and it's effects upon those in crisis.
Two years ago, I had my first d day. Wow, how my life has changed since. I find myself fighting darkness again lately. Perhaps it's the anniversary, perhaps its fatigue, perhaps it's a little bit of a lot of things… so I write to clear my head. This blog is simply the ramblings of a betrayed man in the weeds.
We recently moved. Some events in my working life late last year instigated a domino effect that resulted in my...
One of the things I have found to be true about the walk of recovery from infidelity, is the longer I walk, the less I know. And the less I know, the more I feel.
The feeling that has overwhelmed me of late is one of pretty intense sadness. It seems I feel sorrow in every bone and fiber within me. I feel it deeply, and it feels like a dam around my heart that can break loose at any moment. When I look at my...
Samuel shares the truth behind the statement: if you loved me you would have never cheated on me.
Today I wanted to share something that happened in my office that was incredibly moving to me. At work, we get to see people of all ages and ailments. Whatever your profession is, have you ever had a moment when someone walks in your door and you quickly realize (even though you are the so called professional) that you are the one about to learn?
This morning, that was me. An 84 year old woman I had been helping came in. Her daughter usually drives her, because she...
Samuel shares what remorse sounds and looks like for those in crisis.
Samuel discusses misunderstanding, defensiveness and accusation.
Samuel helps those who feel stuck in their recovery.
Samuel shares personal insight on how to heal from the humiliation spouses feel from infidelity.
When I hear the words liar or cheater, I get a yucky and icky feeling in my stomach. I do not have the strength to face the realization that all of us are broken, without also knowing all people are able to choose humility and redemption. If I don't accept the possibility for change and repentance, I will drown in a spiral of shame.
It is hard to look back on my life and admit or pinpoint when I started telling lies instead of the truth. Like water is to a fish, it is something I have always lived with. That might sound strange to some, but perhaps a better way to explain would be to say that I have...
Samuel answers a viewers question about when it's better to walk away from your spouse.
Chances are if you are reading this, you are waiting for something. I remember early on in our recovery from my infidelity, it seemed that I was waiting mostly for some sort of relief from the circumstances I had created. I was lost in a complete shame spiral, and I wanted relief! I wanted the pain to go away. I have to admit now, I also was so ready for my husband to not be in pain anymore. I humbly can't even say I was healthy enough that I wanted healing for us. I only wanted relief.
When we first...
Samuel discusses what it means to lose yourself while doing repair work.
Samuel answers a viewers question about what to do when their betrayed spouse won't get help.
If you are reading this and your affair has been discovered, chances are you don't know where to turn, where to go, or have any idea what will come of your life.
You might feel like your life is over. Humiliation probably doesn't begin to scratch the surface of what you are feeling. You are now exposed for who you really are. You are a cheater. You are a liar. And you are a sham. There is nowhere to hide and it is time to face what you have done. You probably don't like what you see in the mirror...
Samuel shares a monumental recovery tool for those who are trying to get unstuck in their recovery work.
Samuel discusses a normal struggle for couples in crisis due to infidelity.
I am writing this as I sit on a flight to a sunny destination with my husband; the same man who has courageously fought to give our marriage another chance.
So much has changed in our lives over the past few years. We have aged. We have toughened. We are different now. The innocence we once had is gone.
Yet many things...
Samuel shares practical insight into why the unfaithful hesitates to give details about their affair.
Samuel interviews MJ Denis on understanding multiple disclosures and how to help the betrayed spouse move forward.
When you begin sorting out the mess of infidelity, life gets complicated. As an unfaithful female, I started to question all interaction I had with the opposite sex following D day. I honestly considered at one point, that it might be easiest to just convert myself into a nun so I could avoid men for the rest of my life. If that is what would make me safe, I would do it!
Some of the questions we wrestled with early on were:
Samuel shares key insight into changing patterns when one spouse seems to be the pursuer.
I was reading through many of my journal entries during the first year after discovery. I have several journals that are stuffed with scribbles, thoughts, and pages of raw and bloodied emotion. As I thumb through the hundreds of pages, I can see the narrative of God slowly eradicating my shame. When it came to my betrayed husband though, the theme of my writing seemed to revolve around a feeling of...
Samuel interviews Rick the founder of affairrecovery.com on defensiveness and how to remedy it.
Samuel discuses an important recovery tool for those who deal with anger in repair work.
Samuel discusses gaslighting and both the betrayed and unfaithful spouse.
If there was a scale of emotions, I think it's safe to say we all prefer to be somewhere right in the middle; somewhere between 65 and 75 degrees. . . not too hot, not too cold.
If your story and recovery has looked anything like ours, then you've probably realized that you and your mate's emotions can go way off the charts. We have been on roller coasters of highs and lows. We've experienced days where there seems to be no love or hope left at all. Days where frozen is an understatement...
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Expert. Over 20 years specializing in infidelity recovery helping 2,000+ couples. Watch Rick's Story
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Alumnus. Unfaithful. Doing his best with his 2nd chance in his marriage and life.
Alumna. Member, EMS Weekend Retreat Team. Hope and healing are possible for anyone willing to work through the pain.
Alumna. Betrayed. Striving to recover and thrive after betrayal. I believe gratitude is the antidote to grief. If I can help you in your healing, therein lies my own.
Alumnus. Betrayed. Trying to find his way back.
Alumna. Unfaithful. A broken and undeserving mess who is learning what real love looks like.
Alumna. Betrayed. Determined to be positive as I navigate the quagmire of recovery.
Alumna. Betrayed. A soul restored. Encouraging others to keep walking because there is a way through. Author of Keep Walking: 40 Days to Hope and Freedom After Betrayal
Alumna. Betrayed. Grateful for God's love and grace. Recognizing that with God as my priority, I will be okay no matter what.
Alumnus. Betrayed. No matter how long it takes or how hard it is, my wife is always worth it!
Alumna. Betrayed. Learning to love recklessly while I cross the monkey bars of recovery.
"You have to let go at some point in order to move forward." - C.S. Lewis
Alumna. Betrayed. Walking in obedience to God's direction and experiencing a richer life and Renewed marriage.
Alumnus. Unfaithful. Living life differently, enjoying my wife and family, and grateful for God’s love.
Alumna. Betrayed. Experiencing God's love after divorce. Celebrating the healing of myself and my identity.
Alumna. Betrayed. Continuing to fight for my marriage and my children.
Alumnus. Unfaithful. Living proof that seeking truth offers both incredible pain and amazing freedom.