Welcome

As past participants, we want our walks through infidelity to bring hope, inspiration, and courage to your own journey.
, 1 year 4 months ago
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As a real estate and small business attorney, I have always been drawn to the processes that emerge during real estate and business deals. Emotions run high at the hope of future opportunity in the early stages. As particulars are investigated, uncertainties become clearer and some risks become calculable. There is always a gap between what is known and what can only be projected. Ultimately, the constraints of resources and time merge to force a decision. It is in that moment that instincts prevail and the process becomes poetic. It is also in that moment that the uneasy feelings of uncertainty...

, 1 year 4 months ago
we cannot undo our past but it doesnt take a lot of light to pierce through the darkness-survivors Blog-Elizabeth-Can-People-Change

If you find yourself in the first few months of discovery, chances are you are enduring many mornings that you don't see the point of getting out of bed. Your world and life as you knew it are gone. Life can seem empty and cold. Looking back on our first six months after discovery, there were days it seemed like an eternity of pure hell.

Grief doesn't even begin to describe it. Like many of you, we have all endured losses. We've lost parents. We've lost jobs....

, 1 year 4 months ago

Samuel shares a humorous but telling story about his motivation in recovery work.

, 1 year 4 months ago

Samuel has a heart to heart with the unfaithful spouse about choosing their partner.

, 1 year 5 months ago
prodigals-survivors Blog-Elizabeth-Prodigals

Prodigals....

In the Bible, one of the most beloved, well known, and controversial stories is one that Jesus told of the Prodigal son.

Prodigal actually means
"...

, 1 year 5 months ago

Samuel shares a few humorous stories about he and Samantha's recovery work after infidelity.

, 1 year 5 months ago

Samuel discusses a tool to avoid unnecessary conflict in repair work.

, 1 year 5 months ago
acceptance  the last stage of grief or the beginning of a true journey-survivors Blog-Chase-Acceptance

Acceptance, The last stage of grief or the beginning of the true journey?

I've had the urge to write this blog for some time, but I keep finding myself putting it off. I know it will take some effort and may not flow as easily as some of the earlier ones. This process started for me when I heard a well-known quote from the famous philosopher, Soren Kierkegaard:

"Life can...

, 1 year 5 months ago
looking at the roots of our shame enables us to find healing-survivors Blog-Elizabeth-Do-I-Have-a-Love-Addiction

Early on in recovery, I was so angry at my husband for suggesting I have a love addiction. I am so ashamed to think of how prideful I can be. In my mind, a woman with a so-called love addiction had serious issues. I had a stereotype in my head that this would be a woman constantly on dating sites, wearing clothing from Victoria's Secret, or someone completely out of control. This was not me.

I was a mom for crying out loud. I drive a minivan. I carpool. I go to church. I was married. I...

, 1 year 5 months ago

Samuel provides a follow up to an earlier interview with a betrayed male spouse.

, 1 year 5 months ago

Samuel provides a much anticipated interview with a betrayed male spouse.

, 1 year 5 months ago
the pain is horrible but if you stay the course it will end-survivors blog-elizabeth-driving-in-fog

Have you ever driven in really thick fog? We live near the Mississippi river, where a lot of tributaries feed into the waterway. I didn't grow up in this region (I'm a native Texan), but what I find is that certain mornings of the year, the hills and valleys surrounding our home become blanketed in a thick fog. It becomes so heavy over the roadways that in order to drive, you have to put your headlights on the low beam and drive very slow. You can't see anything. All of the curves and turns seem to sneak...

, 1 year 5 months ago

Samuel discusses how to defeat hopelessness when recovering from the devastation of infidelity.

, 1 year 5 months ago

Samuel shares a tool that helped change his own recovery with Samantha.

, 1 year 5 months ago
its not the experience of feeling anger that leads to negative consequences but how i choose to respond

Oh the anger . . .

The visceral experience of being betrayed has triggered thoughts that consume my mind yet again. I haven't slept more than three hours straight in many months and the Benadryl I regularly take just leaves me feeling groggy. I only have two hours before I have to be in front of the first of many demanding clients today. My efforts to make it through the motions of my morning have been interrupted by my teenage daughter's demands. She desperately wants me to accommodate her schedule...

, 1 year 5 months ago
the ugly truth about codependency-survivors Blog-Elizabeth-The-Ugly-Truth-About-Codependency

Today I am journaling about codependency because I truly hate the word. I wish someone decades ago could have come up with a nicer sounding word to fit the definition.

When I began some honest soul searching of my character flaws that led me to cheat on my husband, I began to realize that I am a poster child for codependency. Looking back on my life and choices, I have spent years outrunning being identified as “codependent” to any degree. Part of my...

, 1 year 5 months ago

Affair Recovery is making some changes to Recovery Library Memberships.

Nine years ago, our vision for the Recovery Library was to create an immense database of expert knowledge. A large part of this database stemmed from our Recovery Library Members and the questions submitted for the Expert Q...

, 1 year 5 months ago

Samuel interviews an unfaithful, female therapist, who helps couples in crisis due to infidelity.

, 1 year 5 months ago

Samuel interviews an unfaithful, female therapist, who helps couples in crisis due to infidelity.

, 1 year 6 months ago

Samuel encourages those who are struggling to keep the momentum in their personal repair work.

, 1 year 6 months ago

Samuel shares a necessary adjustment to early recovery work for those in crisis.

, 1 year 6 months ago
you can't do this alone-survivors blog-chase-angels amont us

During college, I had five very close friends. After graduating, we all moved off to separate parts of the country and began to conquer our small piece of the world. As time went on, somehow, we all wound up marrying women that got along with one another. A few summers later, we all rented a beach house together for a week just to reunite. The trip was such a success it turned into an annual ritual. One we have all kept sacred for over a decade.

The first night of our yearly reunions we would gather on the beach to catch up...

, 1 year 6 months ago
survivors blog-Elizabeth-is infidelity hereditary-we can change our story

Is Infidelity Hereditary?

I ask myself this question a lot. I guess it's more of a fear of mine than a question. In a rational state of mind I can answer this easily: of course not. Infidelity is a choice. No one put a gun to my head and made me cross the line. No one forced me to be unfaithful. And like the source for eye color or skin tone, I don't think there is a "ruin your spouse's life by having an affair" gene.

If you've done...

, 1 year 6 months ago

Samuel discusses the sensitive topic of when betrayed spouses have affairs of their own.

, 1 year 6 months ago

Samuel discusses ways of finding support in recovery work.

, 1 year 6 months ago
is change really possible-survivors Blog-Chase-Should-I-Stay-or-Should-I-Go

"Should I stay or should I go? If I go, there will be trouble. If I stay, it will be double . . ."
~The Clash

I am a child of schoolhouse rock, a product of the age in which skate parks were invented, parachute pants were high fashion, and most of the girls I wanted to date had big hair and blue eye shadow. Lucky for me I made one of those beauties my wife....

, 1 year 6 months ago
Be Bold-Survivors Blog-Elizabeth-What-I-Need-From-You

Today my words come from a very insecure and needy place. Insecure because I'm trying hard to use words instead of behaviors to show how I feel and what I need. This "voice" seems childlike and continues to grow because it is still somewhat unfamiliar to me. My words might sound crazy but I promise I'm not a lunatic! My psychologist refers to me in "parts" like this, so I am going to do the same here today.

The needy part of this voice is the one I am most uncomfortable with. I have always hated and detested the needy part of me so I constantly...

, 1 year 6 months ago

Samuel shares insight on what the betrayed spouse can and should do when their unfaithful wont lead recovery efforts.

, 1 year 6 months ago

Samuel discusses a poignant topic in recovery work regarding the unfaithful spouse.

, 1 year 7 months ago

Samuel tackles a common question of betrayed spouses who are endeavoring to pursue their own healing.

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