Affair Recovery

If you find yourself in the first few months of discovery, chances are you are enduring many mornings that you don't see the point of getting out of bed. Your world and life as you knew it are gone. Life can seem empty and cold. Looking back on our first six months after discovery, there were days it seemed like an eternity of pure hell.

Grief doesn't even begin to describe it. Like many of you, we have all endured losses. We've lost parents. We've lost jobs....

Samuel has a heart to heart with the unfaithful spouse about choosing their partner.

Samuel shares a few humorous stories about he and Samantha's recovery work after infidelity.

Acceptance, The last stage of grief or the beginning of the true journey?

I've had the urge to write this blog for some time, but I keep finding myself putting it off. I know it will take some effort and may not flow as easily as some of the earlier ones. This process started for me when I heard a well-known quote from the famous philosopher, Soren Kierkegaard:

"Life can...

Samuel provides a follow up to an earlier interview with a betrayed male spouse.

Have you ever driven in really thick fog? We live near the Mississippi river, where a lot of tributaries feed into the waterway. I didn't grow up in this region (I'm a native Texan), but what I find is that certain mornings of the year, the hills and valleys surrounding our home become blanketed in a thick fog. It becomes so heavy over the roadways that in order to drive, you have to put your headlights on the low beam and drive very slow. You can't see anything. All of the curves and turns seem to sneak...

Samuel shares a tool that helped change his own recovery with Samantha.

Today I am journaling about codependency because I truly hate the word. I wish someone decades ago could have come up with a nicer sounding word to fit the definition.

When I began some honest soul searching of my character flaws that led me to cheat on my husband, I began to realize that I am a poster child for codependency. Looking back on my life and choices, I have spent years outrunning being identified as “codependent” to any degree. Part of my...

Samuel interviews an unfaithful, female therapist, who helps couples in crisis due to infidelity.

Samuel encourages those who are struggling to keep the momentum in their personal repair work.

During college, I had five very close friends. After graduating, we all moved off to separate parts of the country and began to conquer our small piece of the world. As time went on, somehow, we all wound up marrying women that got along with one another. A few summers later, we all rented a beach house together for a week just to reunite. The trip was such a success it turned into an annual ritual. One we have all kept sacred for over a decade.

The first night of our yearly reunions we would gather on the beach to catch up...

Samuel discusses the sensitive topic of when betrayed spouses have affairs of their own.

"Should I stay or should I go? If I go, there will be trouble. If I stay, it will be double . . ."
~The Clash

I am a child of schoolhouse rock, a product of the age in which skate parks were invented, parachute pants were high fashion, and most of the girls I wanted to date had big hair and blue eye shadow. Lucky for me I made one of those beauties my wife....

Samuel shares insight on what the betrayed spouse can and should do when their unfaithful wont lead recovery efforts.