Rebuilding Your Relationship after an Affair: Defense Mechanisms of the Unfaithful For those of us who have been unfaithful, if we are honest with ourselves, we can admit we sometimes lack motivation to pursue help and do the hard work necessary after an affair. We struggle in being honest with others, our partner or spouse, and even ourselves. To avoid owning all of the blame for our affair(s) we will employ 'defense mechanisms'. These defense mechanisms not only delay our individual and relational healing, they cause more damage to the betrayed party and undermine the entire repair effort. Today you'll hear Samuel interview frequent guest therapist, Amanda Asproni, and discuss how these defense mechanisms undermine the entire affair recovery process.