Around age 10 or 11 they finally allowed us to steal bases in little league. This change transitioned the position of catcher from a simple filler spot that shagged stray pitches into an athletic position that saw action every play. I remember being pulled from the field and given the mitt. Game time came. A few pitches went by and a batter was on first. I found myself constantly distracted by the runner. As I anticipated his steal, the pitch would get by me. After multiple times I could hear the crowd's mumbled voices full of advice. I desperately began trying to apply everything I was...
Samuel answers a viewers question on what you should do when you've lost respect for your unfaithful spouse.
Samuel discusses roadblocks couples face in recovery due to a lack of safety.
Today I was reminded of a story by Portia Nelson I heard long ago:
by Portia Nelson
Chapter One:
I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk I fall in. I am lost... I am hopeless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter Two:...
Samuel interviews MJ Denis, a trauma specialist, about how couples can heal from infidelity.
Our community is used to the threat of tropical weather. Usually, the early notices start with escalated threats that ultimately result in a windy rain storm passing over our area causing very little damage.
In the hours leading up to the arrival of Hurricane Michael it became obvious this storm was going to be different. At 100 miles inland, we were too far north to be part of the normal evacuation plan. Meteorologists began forecasting that the storm would still be holding hurricane strength by the time it reached us. Our home was well within the...
Samuel addresses the situation where a couple may not believe in their marriage again.
Samuel answers a viewers question and also explains why an unfaithful spouse may label their betrayed spouse controlling.
I hate the word. I hate the feeling. I am guessing for most of you reading this, you have more than a vague idea of what this word does to a human being and how it can be one of the most destructive forces on the planet.
Sure, I can sit here and look back on my life and the things that happened before I had a choice in the matter. Reflect on the things that helped shape my heart into a giant...
Samuel discusses when and how to use an ultimatum in recovery work.
Samuel shares hope and tangible encouragement for those struggling to find hope.
A good friend of mine, and fellow betrayed husband (yes, we met at an EMS weekend), coined it best when he said, "This isn't highs and lows; it's chutes and ladders." All of us on this journey have experienced the hope generated by progress. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, the bottom falls out and in the moment all hope seems lost.
I am now 16 months out from my first...
Samuel shares a significant pointer for the unfaithful spouse trying to win back trust.
Samuel shares insight into three recoveries that have to be addressed when healing from infidelity.
Today in counseling I was stunned by a concept I’ve heard most my life. Similar to the old quilt that covers our bed, I became so familiar with it I no longer saw the depth of beauty in it.
My counselor asked me how I felt I was doing at “feeling my husband’s pain”. He has a way of asking a simple question and patiently waits for me to take as long as I need to respond. Having been a counselor for over 40 years, he sees right through me and my crap most days.
How am I doing with handling my husband’s pain? You mean the pain I created with MY infidelity?
In the silence of that moment I found myself...
Samuel shares insight into the tactic of 'rewriting history' and how to recover from it.
Samuel discusses the common question in recovery; are we too far gone to be healed?
Samuel discusses a trap many unfaithful spouses fall into in recovery.
Samuel shares a controversial but powerful approach to finding true healing.
Samuel shares insight into how to forgive the affair partner after the discovery of infidelity.
Samuel discusses how we can be traumatized by well meaning therapists and authority figures.
"Learn how to be okay when things are not okay."
When I first heard this statement I thought it was dumb and much too simple. It was almost insulting – like trying to treat an intensive care wound with a band aid.
However, ten long months into recovery, this statement has been a foundational thought in getting through many hard days.
Samuel shares insight into a common mistake couples make in recovering from infidelity or addiction.
Samuel shares the proper motivation for recovery work after infidelity for both spouses.
Samuel discusses a necessary paradigm shift if couples are going to heal from infidelity.
Samuel shares his own experience in adjusting to life after disclosure and embracing new patterns in life.
Samuel speaks to the betrayed spouse on what anger is costing them in their recovery.
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Alumnus. Unfaithful. Doing his best with his 2nd chance in his marriage and life.
Alumnus. Betrayed. Trying to find his way back.
Alumna. Unfaithful. A broken and undeserving mess who is learning what real love looks like.
Alumna. Betrayed. Determined to be positive as I navigate the quagmire of recovery.
Alumna. Betrayed. A soul restored. Encouraging others to keep walking because there is a way through. Author of Keep Walking: 40 Days to Hope and Freedom After Betrayal
Alumna. Betrayed. Grateful for God's love and grace. Recognizing that with God as my priority, I will be okay no matter what.
Alumnus. Betrayed. No matter how long it takes or how hard it is, my wife is always worth it!
Alumna. Betrayed. Learning to love recklessly while I cross the monkey bars of recovery. "You have to let go at some point in order to move forward." - C.S. Lewis
Alumna. Betrayed. Walking in obedience to God's direction and experiencing a richer life and Renewed marriage.
Alumnus. Unfaithful. Living life differently, enjoying my wife and family, and grateful for God’s love.
Alumna. Betrayed. Experiencing God's love after divorce. Celebrating the healing of myself and my identity.
Alumna. Betrayed. Continuing to fight for my marriage and my children.
Alumnus. Unfaithful. Living proof that seeking truth offers both incredible pain and amazing freedom.
