Affair Recovery

Transforming our betrayal and relationship trauma is no easy task. It can feel impossible to keep our heads above water at times, not to mention the fact that life happening around you never stops to make your healing easier. Quite frankly, we don't always feel like doing the hard work of recovery, and we'd rather just shut down and hide from everyone and everything. Today, Samuel shares four game-changing solutions to provide a framework to healing our own betrayal and relationship trauma. In a world...

New here? Check out Episode 1!

Life is a battlefield, and we are at war against an enemy that seeks to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). But Christ came so that we may have life and have it more abundantly! Today we sing about our weapons of warfare - Christ, through Community and Counseling. We call them the "3 Cs." That's how we continue to win the battle, the battle that has already been won in the heavenly realm through Christ, our deliverer. Through Community, as His army. Through...

I have never put much stock in New Year’s resolutions, and have even rolled my eyes at people claiming “words” for the upcoming year. It seemed artificial to me. However, now that I find myself in a reality that I really want to change, it seems perhaps assigning a word may provide a targeted reminder of...

How we repattern our lives after infidelity can make or break the relationship, in both the short and the long term. Without a plan to develop new habits, new patterns and new routines, the relationship can feel stuck, overwhelmed with drudgery, and filled with disappointment. The goal after an affair or addiction is never getting back to what the couple had, but discovering something new - new energy and new patterns that the relationship is going to need to survive and yes, even flourish, moving...

New here? Check out Episode 1 for our debut and introduction!

When we began our healing journey, when all the wounds were fresh and all bets were off, we had no clue how we would make it out of the deep pit of despair we found ourselves sinking into. But somehow, God used Christ, through community and counseling, to lift us up and out and make a way for healing, hope, and health.

1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV says:

"No temptation has...

Hello,

I wish we weren't meeting this way. I am sorry and I want to (spiritually) meet you right where you are.

I want to encourage you today. I want to tell you who I was before my affair and I want to tell you who I am now. The person I am today, the one writing you this letter, was revealed to me during the darkest time of my life, through lots of prayer, daily trials and deep healing through healthy relationships.

I am writing this at the request of one of the amazing women in my AR group, who shaped many of my prayers and thoughts and...

After an affair, we can feel left for dead. It's like we're lepers, and the outside world seemingly refuses to be associated with us. It can happen to the unfaithful, but oddly enough, it can happen to the betrayed as well. Outside observers have no idea what to say to us, so rather than try, they typically will leave us alone out of discomfort, or be instructed to leave us alone by clergy, leadership or even family members. The truth is, those whose lives have been shattered by infidelity need more support after disclosure...

New Here? Check out Episode 1!

I've always been known by my smile. Well, after D-Day we weren't sure when, or even if, I would ever smile again. So, it was fitting that the verse of hope that God gave me was from Proverbs 31:25 "she shall rejoice in time to come" - another translation says "she laughs without fear of the future." In this episode, I'll share a devotion I wrote about how everything is falling apart, "but God..." filling in the blanks of my uncertainty with God's...

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A note from Rick Reynolds:
In August of 2015, I was invited to Gateway Church for a reunion with past participants of the EMS program. To my delight, a married couple was leading worship together. My...

When a spouse or partner has an affair, their next response is essential. Are they willing to do repair work? Are they willing to own what they need to own? Are they open to getting outside, expert help in an effort to see what they cannot see? It can be like walking a tightrope for either partner who is wanting to save the relationship, but isn't sure where the lines should be drawn to protect themselves, but also humble themselves and win back their partner. Unfaithful spouses can feel as though...

Infidelity is life-changing, life-altering trauma for ourselves, our partners, and even our kids. We can feel “left for dead” immediately following disclosure, and it would seem almost no one truly knows how to support those of us in crisis due to infidelity or addiction. What’s vital is that we are there for ourselves. While it may seem like a hollow suggestion or a cheesy Hallmark card, it is key that we are able to understand the principle of caring for ourselves, despite the temptation to wallow...

Trying to win back a betrayed partner's heart after shattering them with your infidelity is not an easy task. It's a challenge, but a worthwhile pursuit. While some betrayeds are not willing to allow their hearts to be pursued or won back after infidelity, many are willing and even aching for that reconnection. The struggle is how to do so, when the betrayed barely understands their own pain, trauma and confusing reactions. The unfaithful can misread their cues and find themselves growing more and...

When a relationship has been devastated by infidelity or addiction, we need answers. We want help, we want solace, and we want our broken hearts to heal. But, not everyone is as eager as we think they should be to seek healing. But why? Is it because of a past wound from a professional? Is it because the unfaithful has new information to share that they refuse to give up? Whatever the reason, refusing to get help after you've cheated or your spouse has cheated causes even more suspicion and...

A winning hand of victim cards would include a royal flush of blame, powerlessness, self-deception, self-pity, and fear. Hanging onto these victim cards has been a key reason that my husband and I have struggled during recovery. In fact, an Affair Recovery video I listened to recently said that the unfaithful playing the victim is the single most intolerable thing we can do in the healing process. But being a victim is an easy way for me to avoid responsibility for my actions. Being accountable is hard, uncomfortable and requires courage and vulnerability. Since I have...