Rick Reynolds, LCSW
by Rick Reynolds, LCSW
Founder & President, Affair Recovery

Healing After an Affair: How do I Address Unmanageability?

Recently I was talking with a client about the concept of “powerlessness”. What I find to be an excellent antidote to powerlessness, and crucial for healing after an affair, is acceptance - acceptance of my circumstances, acceptance that my best efforts have brought me to this place, acceptance of my inability to affect change in myself as well as others, and the acceptance of who and what I really am. This may sound a bit negative, but in reality, it many times is the beginning of hope. …
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Unfortunately, although this article relates a vital truth, my unfaithful husband continues to use his dependence on God as an excuse to not face his ongoing denial of need for help. We continue to have communication issues. He calls me angry but fails to change what I am angry about (his failure to maintain regular counseling, and a host of ignoring important matters in our household, and horrible name-calling when HE is angry)! Leaning on God is a vital step... But it is not the last or single one. Action towards reconciliation - as if the life of your children depended on it is.

Seeing people reconcile and

Seeing people reconcile and have better marriages AFTER an affair, how can you not believe in God? Not only God, but a God of Grace and Forgiveness. I am only making it through this pain because of my relationship with Christ. I don't see how people get through this without a personal relationship with Christ.

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