Enter Drawing for Harboring Hope for Free

I found out the weekend after Mother's Day 2019 that my husband had an affair with a woman 15 years younger. He did not tell me I found text messages. We have been married almost 25 years. Looking back now in hind site the past 2 years are clearer. I was trying so hard to fix our marriage while he was pushing me away because he was living a double life. It would take thousands of words to explain all the pain he has put me thru.He said he chose me and the family (we have 3 kids). I was under so much stress and anxiety and sorrow and I had to hide all of this from the kids...I was trying to protect them I guess. I was so hurt and angry. We decided to tell the kids because I asked him to leave for a week. Telling the kids was heartbreaking. They cried. Our son is 20 and our twin girls are 17. My son took me for a drive after and spoke such grown up words to me. The 2 of us I cried together for over an hour. After that week apart my husband came back saying he was putting me and the family first.Then I found out he had started seeing her again. He was fishing at the beach and he had been so angry and mean to me on the phone. God spoke to me and told me to drive to the beach. As I drove there I just prayed "God just give me an answer I will accept whatever it is." I saw them with another friend get off our boat. I confronted both of them. It was hard. My husband did not defend me, he was like a deer in the headlights. I drove home crying and he followed. My son confronted his dad and expressed his disappointment in him. That was a Monday. On Tuesday we met to discuss things about divorce...God kept harping on me to ask this question "is this what you really want" I fought with God not wanting to ask this...after all this was not my fault. Finally I asked and he said "NO" we took a walk and we talked about God. He told the AP he did not want to see her again. Several weeks later he asked God to be his savior. We did a 31 day marriage devotional and prayed most nights together before bed. Now it seem like we are losing steam and I have a hard time with my thoughts. I feel low, depressed, cast aside,humiliated,embarrassed, and so sad. I am having a hard time at work. I just want to HEAL and I am struggling horribly. I have not forgiven my husband but I do want to. I believe God can restore our marriage but I need help. I am scared I will never get over/thru this and that I will never feel the same for my husband and I do not want to live the rest of my life like this. I want restoration more than anything. I want to be happy again. This IS NOT who I am meant to be for the rest of my life. I cannot accept that. Money is very hard right now and I hope you will consider me for this gift of healing. It is in God's hands and I do trust Him more than anyone. Thank you for reading this, SG

When I discovered my husband's affair 7 months ago, for some reason I was filled with strength and hope. I thought: "I will forgive. I will love. Our marriage will be stronger than ever!" Then as the details emerged my optimism unraveled and I was left helpless and hopeless. Moments of peace are fleeting, because my entire life has been destroyed, shattered by the man I committed my life to.

I feel like we're not even married. We promised to live our lives together but he quickly and easily found another woman to put in my place. I feel so worthless, ugly, and unloveable. I have no feelings in my heart, which I feel has hardened to keep me alive. Is there hope? If so, for what? Joy? Peace? A love without betrayal? I wonder why I wasn't enough. Why was I so easy to cheat on? I thought we had a great life. I thought we were happy. Now I see no love in my future and I'm so mad and depressed I can't even think straight. Would love to try everything before giving up.

After 17 years of marriage and 5 plus years of betrayal, I am slowly gaining myself back. Who am I? Where did I go? What happened and why didn’t I listen to my intuition?
All of these are questions I will hopefully have answers for... eventually. I will work through my grief and find myself again.

In need of help to end this nightmare!

Most of the posts I see are from woman so I thought us betrayed men deserved a post.
After almost five decades of marriage, I discovered my wife has had four affairs with four different men, two of which were friends of mine. The first two affairs were 24 years ago and the last two began two years ago. I truly understand she owns her choices but my behavior and her codependency caused all four of the affairs.
I found Affair Recovery online and what a blessing it has been! I've watched every blog video and free resource I could find and my wife is now watching them as well.
D-Day was six months ago and my hurt and anger was off the charts for about seven weeks. The reoccurring thoughts still occure but are less devestating than in the beginning. I still search her email and phone messages but have found nothing. Finding nothing is encouraging to her commitment to healing. We also started the free Bootcamp about six weeks ago and are on day four, it works for us even though we're taking it slow but purposefully.
Hope is our prayer and keeping our eye on the goal is our focus to healing. It's working but it's not easy! With love!

1 year past 1st Dday
4 weeks since last time the AP tried to contact my UH. (He hasn't blocked her number and her phone call came over the car blue tooth while I was in the car)
I love him, but I can't live like this.
I feel like I have been buried alive.

My husband and I have been married for 10 years. 2 years and 3 months ago I learned the sad news of his affair through pictures and messages on his phone. It has been a very hard road of trying to heal and staying together as that's what he chose, yet he has not done any recovering work, we went to a couple of counseling sessions but he didn't want to go back, he saw some videos from Samuel but never with an effort or willingness to do so, he read a couple of articles but with the same unwilling attitude so I guess he did it just to get me off his back about it. All this lack of work from his part including not giving me full disclosure about his affair has completely damaged my heart my mind and my soul. I feel so hopeless to forgive him while living with him and so hopeless to move on while in this relationship. That maybe harboring hope might be a help to my broken soul, I'm just so hopeless but who knows this might help. Every article I read every video I watch about this subject hurts hurts hurts, ironically specially when they talk about healing.

I am hoping to be selected in the drawing for Harboring Hope as I have recently found clarity in completing our 9th week of EMSO. I look forward to obtaining "New Hope" through the Harboring Hope program.
In 2015 my world was rocked to its core by my husband's admission to a pornography and sexual addiction. We had been married 32 years at that time. Even though our lives had already weathered the ups and downs of career, relocations and raising our sons. From all outward appearances; we looked like, and I felt as if we were; a super couple with a super family, living in a super neighbor, surrounded by super people, attending a super church. BUT: It was all one big facade because one party was holding onto a huge secret.
The discovery and the fallout left me completely empty and hopeless. It has taken years to find the right professional help and programs that can successfully deal with addictive behaviors and denial. We have been to countless intensives, many week-long retreats, and spent our retirement money on counseling. Our enrollment into EMSO, was an effort on my mate's part to try to make repair from he latest relapse and poor behavioral choices. I have a fresh hope that something is getting through to him this time. He is making efforts that he has not before, and I have a better understanding of the role I am playing. I am more hopeful than I have been in the past 4 years of recovery work. EMSO has made the recovery path very clear. Not easy, but clear; and with clarity I am finding New Hope.

I know this course will help me in my recovery from my husband’s affair. I have to learn how to be ok and I can’t do that on my own.

My husband and I are working through the beyond EMS material, and it's been very helpful. I would still like to take Harboring Hope as I work individually through my own emotions and junk. Please pick me!

I found out about my husband's most recent affair in July 2018 after finding some Facebook messages between him and the AP. He told me he would stop messaging her, and I believed him. Fast forward to September 2018 and I found out he had sent flowers to her at work. When confronted, he denied it, but two weeks later I told him I had confirmed with the flower shop that his order was delivered to the AP at work. He told me he was leaving. We did separate for a few weeks but saw each other occasionally and he decided he wanted to stay in the marriage. This is his 3rd affair in 6 years. None of the affairs have been overtly sexual, though there has been physical contact. Two weeks ago I found out he had not told me everything that happened with this affair. He confirmed that when I found the Facebook messages, the affair had already become physical and had been going on for "awhile." Finding out this new information feels like D-day all over again and I can't stop thinking there must be more he is not telling me. He just says he "didn't want to hurt me" by telling me. He says he is ready to commit to counseling and recovery and we have talked about the fact that we need to work through recovery completely this time so we don't end up here again in a couple of years, like we have in the past. I think Harboring Hope could really help me in my personal recovery.

I recently attended the EMS weekend and found it to be extremely helpful. I would like to enter the drawing because I now know that we not only need to work on our marriage, but I need individual help getting through this. The quality of materials I've seen are second to none and the people involved at AR are a godsend. I hope I'm the lucky person drawn as I continue my journey.

It will be one year in August that i found out about my husbands affair. It has gotten a little easier, but i am still tormented with this betrayal. His affair partner revealed it to me. She was a lady he worked with. She showed up at my office one afternoon to drop the bomb because they had ended it and she was trying to get back at him. The affair went on for 4 years. She stated that it started out romantically but eventually was only sexual. He claims it was never romantic. He claims he has no feelings for you, and that's why it was so easy to end it after he become dissatisfied at her wanting more. They mostly met for about an hour after work and had sex in her pick up truck. She was driving it the day she was at my office. Now every time i see a white pickup truck i think about them having sex in it. I also was able to retrieve 3 years worth of explicit sex text messages. Probably the worst thing that i could have done. Now i replay these over and over in my mind. In the beginning he become very angry with me when i asked questions, he tried to put the blame on me. He seems now to be taking responsibility for his actions, but still doesn't want to talk about it as much as i need. I haven't spoken a word of the affair to anyone. I am completely alone and some days feel like i am going to burst. I think i haven't shared this information is i feel shame. I know i shouldn't, but it's like what is wrong with me. Wasn't i good enough for him. If he loves me like he says then how could he do this to me. I need this help to start to feel true healing. Thank you.

We have finished EMSO and are 1 of 3 couples committed to MFL weekly call. It has been 10 months since dday and only 4 weeks since last relapse of any contact with AP. My UH says he wants to remain married to me, but he refuses to be intimate as he needs to figure out some stuff in his head before having sex again. I just listened to Rick's Q&A about figuring out the person I want to be outside of what my UH does or doesn't do. I would like to figure that out.

We have finished EMSO and are 1 of 3 couples committed to MFL weekly call. It has been 10 months since dday and only 4 weeks since last relapse of any contact with AP. My UH says he wants to remain married to me, but he refuses to be intimate as he needs to figure out some stuff in his head before having sex again. I just listened to Rick's Q&A about figuring out the person I want to be outside of what my UH does or doesn't do. I would like to figure that out.

I've been married for 32 years, have 3 beautiful kids, 2 grandchildren and 1 on the way. My husband has had multiple affairs for more than 1/2 our marriage. The 1st disclosure came 12 years into the marriage. I can't speak politely. I'm disrespectful. Clearly, I have major issues with him. I just don't know why, why now, what triggered? Many unanswered questions. I see all the anger, resentment and bitterness that is harboring just beneath the service. I realize I'm emotionally damaged and haven't dealt with any of my feelings. I have been in denial for over 20 years. I've lived a life of loneliness and lies, always seeking true intimacy but never getting it. When I do pull myself together and begin to heal, something else happens and I'm sucker punched. I'm tired. I need help. Today is the day I'm going to have the conversation, "you can say no, but life doesn't stay the same as you know it". I receive a text from him that unemployment is ending and now we don't have enough $ coming in to pay our bills. How do I demand a EMS weekend now? Credit cards are maxed. Lord. Well, that's my story. I have so much regret that I didn't deal with him 20 years ago. Now I'm 52 years old and don't know what to do. I need a support group and a day like Hope Rises. I am so disappointed in myself. I've walked through life eyes wide shut while claiming I could see. I'm a coward, who still loves my husband and believes that God has a plan for us. I need help that's all I know.

I have devoured most things on the AR website. My husband and I have been to EMS. He entered H4H. In my mind I have been doing everything I should do to heal. I have a counselor, same as his and our joint sessions as well. We have been married for 28 years. 2 affairs, 1/2 confession May 2018, 1/2 June 2018. At this point there is no commitment made to do whatever it takes and begin reconciliation on his part. I voiced my willingness to do so in February after the 2nd discovery of them together. As I said, I thought I was doing everything possible to heal. Now I am not so sure. I am loosing hope in the fight and may need to start an entire separate healing process. A professional look and new words will possiblly bring me clarity into this healing process. It is time for me to look differently at my healing. I trust HH can take me to where I can get a stronger grip on this process.

1 month since Dday, my husbands relapse with the same woman, he only sees her a couple of times a year at a camp they both go to and because he says he felt like I didn’t want him intimately anymore had sex with her again!!!! And now is it sure how he feels about me. I gave him opportunity to leave but he says doesn’t want to, I am in such emotional turmoil some days I can barely breathe.
We hardly did any recovery work when he had the initial affair 5 yrs ago and I suspect that is why we are hear again!!

What you can do for me:
I'm looking for some tools to help me heal. It's hard looking at my own situation unbiasedly, as I am in the muck chest deep. I need other perspectives and I need hope.

I found out from our daughter. She saw my husband of 31 years was texting someone secretly on his phone. I confronted him when he got home, all was deleted & denied. I confiscated his phone the next morning & the neighbor lady texted “good morning sexy”.
We had a long conversation, he said that’s all it was & he told her to not contact him ever again.
This sane daughter had gotten her phone stolen so I went online to find out any activity but saw my husbands phone with thousands of texts in a 3 month period. He admitted it was with a neighbor lady & they were sexting but nothing else. She was also dating his brother during this time.
October 2018, his brother broke up with this lady & he revealed that my husband was having a physical affair with her years ago & she wasn’t the only one..
we are in therapy, he is in therapy for the affair & other addictions. I am devastated but want my marriage to work. He is truly working on us but it’s a long hard process. I/we are in need of any help.

I enrolled in Harboring Hope to get off this island of isolation after 7 months of living hell since two d-days before and after the holidays. With 5 months of professional intensive PACT infidelity couples and individual counseling completed, my unfaithful husband and I have started a path toward repair, potential reconciliation and had disclosure to our college-aged children. We have done some hard work in therapy, but it still feels like a long road ahead for me to completely restore and heal myself and also trust and forgive him. Some days, I have hope for our rebuilt new marriage, and other days I think I'm crazy for trying at all. My husband's infidelities spanned 2/3 of our 23 year marriage. He says he wants to repair and rebuild our marriage. Five months ago, he ended relationships with all 8 APs in his workplace, closed his office, and stopped all of his addictions including porn, but he still resists on-going professional therapy for himself for a variety of reasons (cost, avoidant attachment style, thinks he can do it on his own now...), but somewhat reluctantly still goes to couples therapy. He's also ruined his career, his livelihood to support our family and our home sanctuary where he brought 1 AP while I was out of town. In the midst of this hell, I/we may also have to move! I see his chronic shame, and it's his life's work and an opportunity to finally deal with it. Will he? My self esteem is still recovering from rock bottom. I continue to feel very depressed and anxious and on an insane rollercoaster of hope, pain, grief, loss, sadness, anger and rage. These days, I notice more feelings of wavering in my resolve and resilency to keep going. I'm so tired! My/our friends care about me/us, but don't really want to interact with us now. They have their own feelings of disgust, disappointment, as well as ideas about what I/we should do. Some want me to leave the marriage and move on. I feel isolated, alone and crave a community that has experienced this, understands and supports this insane journey. For months, I've been looking for a local infidelity support group in my community and found none. I know the isolation that I feel is a part of my pain and struggle so I'm getting off the island of isolation with Harboring Hope! I found AR a few weeks ago and watching the Recovery Library videos has given me some moments of peace, validation, perspective and way finding. My husband will watch some of the videos with me, and he also seems to receive benefit too. Thank you AR for your Recovery Library and Harboring Hope!

It's been almost a year since I discover my husband was seeing a prostitute on a regular basis. We'd been married for 23 years until then. Friends told me it's better than him having a relationship with an AP, which may be true but it came as a huge blow in my head since I didn't suspect or even any slightest doubt. I was devastated and broken, but slowly started picking up pieces and continue to work on healing for myself. I've learned great deal about myself since would like to continue working on myself regardless of our marriage. I also realized how co-dependent I was and am trying to make a change for myself to positive direction with God's guidance.

Married for 17 years, two amazing children and the woman of my dreams cheated on me with 8 different AP’s over the past 6 years. D Day 1 was accidental as the Bluetooth switched over to my vehicle when we stopped at a red light next to each other. This caused us to split. We sold our house, our children had to switch schools, and life was the worst it has ever been for us. After 1 month of fighting and hurt feelings, we decided to try to reconcile. Our first day of marriage counseling, my UW disclosed that she had affairs with 5 other men during the past 6 years. Devastation. Total devastation. To make matters worse, our marriage counselor fired us as they were not equipped to help us. We were fired by the next two marriage counselors as well. Still we were committed to reconciliation. My UW registered us for the EMS weekend which was going to be in June of 2019. I have devoured all content on the AR website. I was extremely active in the forums as I was in search of anything that could make me feel any fraction of relief. In May, there was another disclosure. Talk about falling right back into the dark hole! However, this time, I realized that the hole was deeper as I had the weight of the now 6 AP’s, plus the new disclosure (additional times with the existing AP’s) to contend with. Although I’ve been dealing with extreme anger, disappointment in my UW, pity for myself, and the worst pain possible, I was hopeful that the tools learned at the EMS weekend would help me heal. I’m naturally a forgiving person as well as an optimistic person. The EMS weekend did not disappoint. We gained so many valuable tools. My UW wife also expressed interest in being mentor couples later once we’ve healed. Obviously, this pleased me. However, on the 3rd day of the EMS weekend, my UW wife disclosed the last bit of betrayal. She had 8 AP’s. I spiraled and completely missed all the content from day 3. Back at home, I am struggling to let go of this anger. I can’t seem to find my way to acceptance; which is preventing me from reaching forgiveness. I’m seeing an individual counselor; however, have not been able to find one that understands the level of betrayal and pain that I’m experiencing. My UW is 100 % on board with fixing herself and saving the marriage, which is exactly what I want; however, I am stuck and can’t find the path towards my goal of reconciliation. Please consider me for the free HH drawing.

Harboring hope is what I wanted to do. I told my UW about affair recovery and showed her some of the videos on YouTube. I told her about EMSO AND HH, we couldn’t financially do both so I asked if she wanted to do it, she said yes so we started. She participated to some extent, without giving a really solid effort. “We” are on week 12, she stopped right before relapse prevention, and she is back in her affair.
I feel like she has been wasting my time. I just want to heal myself and move on with my life.

Like all the betrayed spouses out there, I never thought this would be my story. Never. But here I am and I don’t want it to be the end of my story, but rather the beginning of our best days to come and above all else a testimony to God’s love and redemption. My husband and I are currently in the EMSO program. The material has been very valuable. I find myself longing for more tools, guidance, and community through HH to help with the healing process. I’m hopeful for healing.

My hubby And I NEED these courses! Please oh please oh please. I can’t bare to watch him twitch, toss, turn, and panic all night EVERY night anymore. Please draw our names

On October 25th, 2017 my entire life was shaken upside down when I discovered my husband was in an emotional affair for the past 8 years that turned semi-physical. We had been married for 23 years and have 3 children, our youngest going on 6 years old at the time. I was so devastated because I never thought my husband could do such a thing. I had suspected in the past but I always believed him when he said there was no one else and ‘he swears to God’ he’s telling the truth. I couldn’t understand why this happened, we had our problems but overall I felt we were a happy couple and family. I felt so betrayed, humiliated, deceived, I had no self confidence, and I was robbed of my peace. I had so many questions but they weren’t really being answered and he would react with so much anger. I was getting little bits and pieces, and that was torture because I never knew what was going to come out next. He finally told me who she was and she was 12 years younger than us, so that was another blow to my self confidence. To top that off, there were 4 others he would frequently visit to get his ‘thrills’ (as he put it), all between 20 years younger to 12 yrs younger. At first he said nothing physical had happened, it was just flirting at her place of employment. Then sometime later it came out he bought her 1 gift, then later it wasn’t only 1 gift he also bought her clothes, then a few months later he went to her house to drop off some items she asked him to take for her, then it came out he also drove her car to pick up food for her and bought her kids gifts. After about a year from Oct 2017, he told me they had met up at a few bars during those 8 years and that he ‘only’ kissed her once. I felt like I didn’t know this man I had been married, the man I knew wouldn’t do any of these things and with a married woman as well! I felt so lost and I was in a dark place. As crazy as it seems we decided to try to make our marriage work. He promised me and everyone else that knew if our situation that he would do whatever it takes to make our marriage work; this was in January 2018, and again I believed him. In January 2019 I decided to plan a little family getaway to start the new year off with a fresh start. We had a wonderful time and for the 1st time in a really long time I was starting to feel peace. Then in mid January, not even 2 weeks after our trip I found out he had been googling this other woman for the past year, he even called her with the intent to hang up when she answered. I couldn’t even comprehend why he would do this? Why would he betray me again after seeing all the hurt and pain I went through. He says he just needed to grow up and gets it now. The thing is I have been left with so much anger towards him and at times I even feel hatred. This isn’t me, thus isn’t the kind of person I was before. I didn’t realize what it was doing to me until a friend told me she misses the old me. I’m told I need to forgive and I’ve tried with everything in me to do this again, but I’m struggling so much and I need help.

I took the pain for myself and turned it inward. I couldn't help it. I'd come from a family who only dealt in pain. They installed so many traps, tricks and devices in me that any wounding sets off a myriad cruel machines that snake around my body and mind causing more damage. I never felt like I was good enough before this happened, and a previous relationship with a sex addict burned a hole in two decades of my life.
My partner was sexually abused as a child by a priest. His acting out was due to stuffing this horror down deep in himself, a compartment that he sealed around himself. He is working on himself but I am drowning, when I get up I have to be his support as he comes to terms with his actions and how they have kept the abuse going. I alternate between being his therapist and being his accuser.
I would like some support and some peace. I'm carrying the weight of two, along with our kids.
I wonder how it would feel to not be in fight flight mode, I wonder what I could do with my life if I wasn't constantly fire fighting. I wonder who I could be if I could like myself again.

My husband and I are 60 years old and we have been married for 38 years. My official D Day was January 24, 2019. My husband got arrested on January 21 for solicitation of a prostitute. He offered assistance to a woman who seemed to be in an unsafe area in the city where he was working. This happened are 5:45 pm. on January 21. He had just called me that he was going to this tool store to purchase a special tool for his work. The woman that he offered assistance to turned out to actually be he an uncover posing as a prostitute. In his vulnerable state, she offered her services. He agreed but he told her that he was going across the street to a hamburger joint. No money was exchanged. He did see her text something on her phone. Come to find out this was part of a prostitute/john sting where over 200 men were arrested. When he drove across the street, he was arrested. When we were finally able to communicate, our world came crashing down. We agreed not to tell our grown children, but it leaked out to our daughter-in-law by the bondman who had promised that they would not contact the references I had to chosen. Of course they did contact our daughter-in-law. It was awful. Our son and his wife have barely spoken to us since. Our son told our daughter who knew nothing about the ordeal. Our youngest daughter and her husband knew about everything because I was on the phone with her when I got the call that my husband was arrested. I read the arrest report so I know he is telling me the truth. Since then he has gone to court 3 times but each time he goes the evidence has not been turned in. It turns out that my husband has disclosed several sexual encounters he has had over the last 18 -2 years he has worked away.
He is now home since the middle of May. We both are trying really hard to heal from all of the infidelity. He has disclosed so much to me. We have been reading and watching many AR resources. Presently, we are working in a program suggested by our church. At the end of June and for the next 13 weeks that follow we will be attending a recovery program very similar to EMS weekend. We have purchased access to Recovery library as well. He starts counseling next week. I desperately want to join Harboring Hope but can't seem to get in. Please help.

My wife was contacted by a professional romantic-scammer based in Russia that began liking the pictures of her flowers. He preyed on her through various social media accounts and little by little caused her to realize that this unemployed Muslim, 14 years her junior was her 'soulmate'. After all, why wouldn't a 26 year old college student in Russia want a 40 year old housewife with four kids? Within three months of first contact, she sent him $200 dollars for an "emergency operation". He has completely brainwashed her over the last year and a half. No factual information about the nefarious activities or other female contacts of this individual will cause her to reconsider. She is only more and more secretive and the lies get stranger and stranger. She has been completely brainwashed in this psychological campaign over the last year and a half. He has poisoned her mind with mind-control techniques. This is only the intro. The story is so bizarre, so twisted and so sad that it would make your head spin.

You may ask why I would want to stay with someone who has so absolutely destroyed our family and so traumatized our 4 innocent kids? Well, I remember who she once was, and is, on the inside. I see that person dying on the inside, but she refuses psychological assessment. Kind of like a drug addict that doesn't want to get better even though they know they are dying.

The divorce filing as been at the courthouse for three months, but it hasn't gone anywhere YET. That could happen today for all I know.
I've been trying and many times failing to keep it together for a year and a half of this, and I do so because my kids need me, her mother needs me, and someone has got to keep it all together.

The reason I am interested in the Harboring Hope is that I need some self-care, otherwise I'll go nuts.

Its been a long 8 years, holding in to God’s truth about marriage abd adultery. While my husband still sees his affair partner. I have asked him if hes going to leave and he's said no but when i ask him to stop seeing her, he does for a whike but then starts up again. For some reason though they both know the Bible well, they have this notion that Hod will reveal his will for what should happen. Even though to me God already has. He hasnt given them permission to be together. My hisband is very involved in our church in a number of ministries snd goes to church often yet somehow his so blinded. As a catholic the only way to dissolve our marriage is by annulment, which breaks my heart. I keep hoping that God will convict his heart. I would love to win Harboring Hope, as i dont feel strong or brave enough to give an ultimatum and beed to learn these tools.
Vanessa

I am confused and unsure. My husband now says he wants me and to save our marriage. He says he wants to be with only me. He has attempted suicide once. He has lied over and over. We are now separated. I need to move. Staying close to his AP is not an option for me any longer. He checked himself into a hospital 2 1/2 years later for suicidal thoughts after he promised he would not hurt himself again. After his second time in the hospital things seem to have changed for the better. I don't know if they will keep going this way. I don't know what to believe. I feel like I can't even trust myself since I believed the lies for so long. I don't know what to feel or how to feel. I need to find a healthy place.

Recently our son discovered inappropriate text messages between his wife and my husband. After our son confronted his father (you can imagine the hurt on both fronts for him as well), my husband fully confessed and he and I spent a whole day crying and talking and crying again. My son and daughter in law have gone through a lot over the past few years with cancer, extreme health issues and business challenges, and daughter in law fights depression. My husband recognised the depression and knowing it himself feared for her in an unhealthy way. He is a Highly Sensitive Person (only began reading about this lately but explains a lot about his very sensitive nature) and feels very deeply. He also struggles with anger at God. Not sure where that originated but he has experienced a lot of pain and loss in his life, seeing a friend lose young daughter from cancer, his mother and father passing and many other things over the years. I wonder also if he has a father wound. Anyway they made a connection that developed into a very inappropriate relationship. Our hearts are aching because our relationships are so torn apart. I am so very sad and continue to pray for restoration and healing for all of us. Our relationships have been torn apart in so many ways. I miss the grandchildren so much and it's painful to see how much my husband is hurting because of all the pain he has caused out family. We are blessed to have found Affair Recovery and have been watching many of the videos together. I would like Harbouring Hope because I feel so all alone in all of this with no one to talk or pray with besides my husband. I feel the support would be very good. At this time only our counselor knows besides the four of us about the affair.
Anonymous
Our daughter in law and son have been able to get counseling with Caring For the Heart locally and have begun some deep healing . We look forward to doing the same soon.

Healing sounds great right about now

Hello. We have been married 15 years and have five beautiful children. My husband has had more affairs then I can count, most have been casual encounters that he immediately distanced himself from after the “act.” He has always been repentant and begged me to give him another chance. And I did, though I feel like a fool. Three years ago, he was involved a nine-month affair with a woman until I caught him. He immediately broke it off. But two and a half years later, this past November, I found out he had been involved with her again briefly. The day I found out he had been seeing someone (took her to lunch at one of our spots) and confronted him, he was so horrible to me. He denied and lashed out at me, turned off his GPS locator and did not come home that night. I knew what he was doing, He went to her house and stayed the night. Later he told me that she had plans for them to start a life together which he claims he did not contribute to but I don’t believe that. He came home the next day and did not go back to her and shortly after we discovered the affair recovery program immediately did Boot Camp and signed up for the EMS weekend. We gained a lot of traction with Boot Camp and the EMS weekend and after. He was making a real effort to be safe for me and connect with me, and our level of intimacy flourished. I felt so much love for him for his willingness to be vulnerable and patient with me. We completed the After EMS and are doing the Married for Life and participating in the weekly calls. We have couples counselors that are very good and individual counselors as well. But yet things have started to slip. He’s been very defensive with me for what he has done, or rather the way that I’m trying to cope with what he’s done. I have really made an earnest effort to not be abusive toward him, however I have slipped a few times and said some nasty things. I’ve even hit or swatted him a couple of times in anger. And of course he doesn’t hesitate to remind me of it. His defensiveness, pride, need to be right, his lack of consistency defensiveness make me feel unsafe again. So instead of trying to make him do what I need to feel safe I’m just going to do whatever I can to try to heal. And I hope that he will do the same for himself, and for us, but if not I still need to heal.

Praying to heal