Enter Drawing for Harboring Hope for Free

I am so grateful for your site and all you offer. I have been amazed at how the articles and vlogs seem to speak directly to me. Like everyone else it seems, my husband was the last person on the face of the earth to do something like this. I have learned so much this last year and a half. I know I could not still be trying to save our marriage if it was not for all of this information and support. My h has made almost all the mistakes Samuel has addressed. I have been stuck a few times, but this time feel different. My husband is finally going to get some individual help and I am worried it will be too little too late. I want to reach that break through place. Thank you for offering the drawing. I hope to someday be at your weekend with him. It sounds amazing. Thank you for all you do.

I've reached the point where I'm ready to move on with my life regardless of what happens in my marriage. HH seems like the perfect place to heal and find hope for my uncertain future.

It’s been a year since DDay and 5 months since my husbands last relapse. He has a year long limerent affair with a co-worker and after disclosure was ambivalent for 4 months. It has been a living hell with. Fire breathing trauma dragon and a struggling to “get it” spouse. There is a lot we need to heal from but I am starting to see I need to start really focusing on my healing for the sake of myself and my kids. After a year of all of this I am tired of trying to figure it out on my own, I need help. Thanks for the opportunity!

After almost 35 years of marriage, my world has come crashing down. 2 grown sons and grandchildren and a 16 year old daughter and I accidentally discover my husband’s emails and find that he has been having an affair for almost 2 years. Meeting a married with children younger business associate - all covered very well, spending the night together at business meetings and conventions and even hosting her at our hunting property that is (a safe for them) 12 hours drive from our home. I’ve known him since I was 15, we ran a business together, I adored him, a great man of character - I never in my wildest dreams suspected he would betray me and our family like this - all the while I am at home running our household, taking care of daughter and grandchild - allowing him to have plenty of time to “enjoy” his hunting property...being a “good wife”. It’s been 30 days and I’ve had a few decent days, but the past 2 I’m back to grieving like I did the first few. The pain is unbearable.

I discovered that my husband of 11 years was involved in an affair in Sept. He insists that he wants a divorce and I'm completely out of hope. I have tried everything I can think of. I know I must focus on my healing at this point. He was deployed when the affair started and I didn't see it coming at all. The past several months have been so painful and I'm at a point where I just need hope and healing for myself.

I am desperate for help.
My husband and I have been together for 11 years, of which he has cheated on me for over half of them in many ways, with multiple women, and I feel as though I have come unglued.
We have raised 4 children together, our youngest being 10 who is also Autistic. D Day for me was my 40th birthday (16 months and 11 days ago) when I discovered a second phone. The second D Day was a month after, when I discovered the very worst of it. Since then I have remained functional yet useless. He has given his life over to God, and is apologetic... and I don't care. In fact, I hate him more with each passing day, and with that I also loathe myself. I have symptoms of complex PTSD and severe depression, but because of work and home responsibilities neither of us can go to counseling. This many months later, I wake from vivid nightmares 2 to 3 nights a week, and my health has declined. So has his. I don't want to live with hate in my heart. My children need me.
I am desperate, truly desperate for help.

I found out between May 23, 2017 and September 24, 2017 that my husband of 43 years is a sex addict - active with online pornography, chat rooms, massage parlors, strip clubs, taking strippers to motels and seeing them at their houses, prostitutes procured through the internet and other sex partners,multiple long term (2-5 years) affair partners to the point of bringing them to my home when I was out of town and more for over 35 years. I say more because we are scheduled for a formal therapeutic disclosure in January, 2018. I shudder to think what more there can be for him to tell me. I am 65 years old and can't bear this burden every day. I have a good therapist and God. Without them I am worried I wouldn't be here. I need whatever help I can find. I read books and blogs and websites until I can't stand it anymore. I wait a few days and then begin the
process again trying to find some answers and ways to cope. My heart goes out to all the writers of the stories I see on the blogs. I know these people are hurting just like me. I guess I just need to know that someone cares. That is another aspect of this - I can only talk about this with a select few safe people. And my support group of 2 are beginning to weary of my crying. Thanks for listening to me. If you are a spiritual person please remember me in your prayers.

I am searching for hope in these very dark times of my life.

About 2 weeks ago my husband disclosed he had been unfaithful in our marriage of 8 years. We have 3 kids and I am currently pregnant with our 4 due in 2 weeks. I learned he had a few one night stands in the past and found an affair partner for 2-3 months and broke it off, I never knew about this until recently. Now currently deployed he had reconnected with his affair partner and had a sexual and emotional relationship and said he even had Thad thoughts about leaving our family for her. I am loosing hope and need something to lift my spirits.

Searching for support and hope

Hello 1st of all thank you your videos are very helpful me and my husband have been watching them. Me and my husband have been together for 6 years and married for 3 years. My husband and I are 17 years apart I am 34 years old and my husband is 51 years old. This is my 1st marriage and his 3rd, he has 4 children and I have 1 child. I found out about my husbands affairs about 2 years into our marriage, I confronted him did everything wrong that could go wrong, he promised to not do it again and I believed him. Things after that seemed great we got married and moving forward. We hit some financial hardship with employment and his election at the fire department that did not go well. He started to become more angry and taking it out on me and the kids. My husband is also a Army veteran and has signs of PTSD not only due to the military but also childhood trama. He is not big on therapy. Something in me felt wrong and my thoughts went crazy I started to look through his stuff and phone. I started to watch him closely so I can get passwords to his devices and social media. As you can imagine what I found was devastating. He has several sexual affairs with co-workers and lots of sexual texts messages to different women. Most of these women are married themselves and all of them knew me and knew he is married. I caught him several times and recently caught him again i don’t know what’s so different this time but I said what I felt at that moment and he reacted different. I know we have a lot of work on both our parts but to me is huge to see him on his own watching your videos and sharing them with me. I want healing for both of us I want our marriage to survive we both made a promise in front of God. I pray we are blessed with this gift but also pray for all who are going through these dark times. Thank you

Looking for path to freedom from the pain of it all.

My husband committed adultery the beginning of August. I have shown him forgiveness and love, but he still is angry and mean to me, even though he says he wants to stay in the marriage. Everyone around me thinks I am crazy to stay, but I so want to restore and reconcile my marriage and my family. I know he has some narcissism problems. Am I truly crazy to stay?!

I would like to take the Harboring Hope course because it has been over two years since I discovered my husbands affair and there are days I hurt like the day I found out. I have been trapped on a horrible rollercoaster ride of emotions since discovery. On my best days I am grateful that my husband is so dedicated to our marriage and family, I feel our marriage is better than it's ever been. However, the roughest days can as traumatic as the very day I found out. I feel incredibly blessed that my husband has made a miraculous change, it is truly a miracle. Upon discovery, he moved out and was planning to move in with his AP and divorce me. My prayers were answered, he came home. It was a rough road because of him still communicating with her, he lied and the full truth was slow and twice as painful to get out of him. It took 6 months for him to break of contact, then almost a whole year of the truth piece by piece but only when I had proof he lied. And then there was a huge breakthrough and I not only saw but can feel a true change in his heart and that he is honestly sorry. I feel his love for me more than ever. Now, he has been a better husband than ever and our marriage can be so amazing at times. For me, the pain always comes back and at this point I don't know if I can deal with it anymore. I see God moved to save my marriage and do the miraculous with my husband but I can't figure out what's wrong with me and I'm afraid I am going to ruin what has the potential to be the marriage of my dreams. What is wrong with me? Why when my husband has made every change I could hope for and more am I still stuck being triggered and the ground falls out from under me? I have the hardest time just getting through the day on my worst days and I miss the strong, confident and happy person I used to be. I'm tired of being depressed and in survival mode. I am desperately reaching for anything to grab onto to give me hope and tools to get through this. I long to be the happier and better than before couples I hear speak in your video clips! The Affair Recovery website and weekly emails have given me the most help and hope by far than anything, including two different marriage counselors. I am hopeful that the Harboring Hope course would give me what I need to get unstuck. I have even talked to my husband about traveling to do the EMS weekend bc I feel the marriage is still very fragile and in crisis because of where I am still at in the process but I feel the Harboring Hope course would be a great help to start with. I am just so desperate to stop the most intense feelings I have ever felt of hurt, anger, humiliation and the feelings of being worthless and hopeless!!

I found out two days ago that my husband of three years has been having an affair for six months. I am utterly devastated and I literally do not know what to do or where to go from here. I need help because I know I cannot make it through this on my own.

I would LOVE to take Harboring Hope!! My husband and I participated in EMS Online a year ago. It's been a very rough recovery road... years of continued lies and so many other circumstances that have continued to cause damage. I need encouragement... and to focus on myself for once.

Your website and videos have been immensely helpful to me after finding out about my husband’s online affair with the wife of one of his friends. I am dealing with a double betrayal. The affair lasted about 18 months to my knowledge. During this time, and also after my husband said he stopped the affair, he repeatedly brought this woman into my home. The level of deception and manipulation that has come to light is so unbearable to me. When my husband started the affair I was very sick on and off for almost 2 years. He did stand by me and take care of me during this time, but I feel it is all negated by the fact he betrayed me and broke our wedding vows so completely. (In good times and bad...in sickness and health) After I felt better, I told everyone who would listen that he was my hero, and he readily accepted my praise while still bring this woman around me. I also started to see some flirtatious behavior on her part which bothered me but I trusted my husband completely and felt secure about my marriage. I struggle every day, 18 months later. I feel like I'm floundering between anger, despair, disillusionment, and at a loss of what to do next. Distraction is the only thing that helps me through, it's clearly not enough. Please help.

There is still hope inside of me (probably the size of a mustard seed).... but I feel it fading away. My husband and I are college sweethearts and the best of friends. I honestly thought our marriage was good. We struggled with finding time for each other when we had kids, which I am sure I can honestly say hurt us. We let life get in the way of our "us". He started hanging out more away from the house with friends and I know I started hanging more with the kids and put them first since I didn't have time to do those things like going out with friends. I lost my identity in my family and as a wife. My husband started an affair with a co-worker (D-day was November 2015)....I cannot described the pain I felt. I never imagined he would do anything to hurt me. I honestly thought I was the total package and boy did that hurt my self-esteem and shut down my confidence. I am exhausted from trying to be stronger than I feel. I think this course would help me become a butterfly.

9 months since..still searching for answers and peace. In counseling for 9 months but I believe I would benefit from Harboring hope as I would have people in similar situations to confide in and learn from

My husband and I are seperated. He is the one who had the affair and wants a divorce but it doing nothing about making it happen. I have moved out, gotten my paperwork filed with my aunt who is my lawyer and was going to serve him papers....and I don't even want the divorce. I am realizing daily how co-dependent I am. I have decided to not serve him papers, and while I have moved out with my kids I am waiting for him to make the next move....
Meanwhile I am moving, dealing with all the emotions associated with my two young daughters as to why daddy isnt staying in our home, dealing with regressions in their progress with wetting the bed and needing a ton of attention.... I also need to find a job where I was a stay at home mom before and need to make sure I pay all of our bills for the apartment my husband still lives in as they were all in my name. I am trying to just get by...and really i need to learn how to heal and get through this...that is why I feel like I need this.

My husband has had ongoing addictions throughout our marriage and we always tried to fix it on our own. The past year brought on more hurt and brokenness through alcohol and then culminating with an emotional (he says not physical) affair with a coworker who is also married. He has become isolated and pushed away best friends and it is causing isolation for me. Since all of this has come to light, our finanaces have been a mess and the affair isnt ending (they see each other every day.) We desperately need dedicated time to see if our marriage can survive. Because money is an issue, I don't want that to stand in the way of healing. Free haboring hope would be a huge blessing.

I am not good with words and all my resources are exhausted. I recently found out that my husband who I thought had been in active recovery for nearly 5 years has actually just traded his porn addiction for a gambling addiction. We've been married almost 25 years. I am acting like a crazy person again and in desperate need of expert help. It's so difficult to find.

I don't even really know where to begin. My wife, of six and a half years, and I are at a major crossroads in our life. My wife came home from being a summer camp counselor and said that she thought that we would be better separate than together. She "camped" for several nights to get some "space and clarity" about the situation. A few days later, she disclosed to me that she had been sleeping with another man during that time, who happened to be a camp counselor as well during the same week that she was at camp. This was the third affair in six years. She decided to come home and "stay" with me. After going to counseling a few times and our counselor telling her that she had to let the other man go, she attempted to stay away from him but to no avail.

She claims she is ambiguous about fixing our marriage because of how powerfully she feels about him and because of the difficulty of our first few years of our marriage. She said she is in a moral dilemma between doing what is right and what feels good. I have tried to get her to imagine how worth it it would be if we could save us from demise. I believe in our marriage and I believe that she isn't ready to hang it up, so I am asking to take this course to help us rekindle our love for each other and make it past this hurdle.

Hi,
My name is Abby and I would like to win Harboring Hope for September and beyond because I am currently in the process of moving out of our house and looking at what I need to get done to start the divorce process with my husband. My husband will not budge on his decision to be divorced and he is the with a special friend. He also has a history of other addiction and has chosen not to seek help, healing and recovery. Through my begging to make it work it has only drawn his farther away (I should have listened to the videos on this site about that but I had to try). I want to be married to my husband and I want him to choose God, myself and our family first, but he is in a place where he is not able to see that decision as being the best for him. I got married thinking divorce would never be an option and I am swimming in a sea of no direction as my 2 toddlers and I move out. As a previous stay at home mom with plans to homeschool my girls at least through kindergarten, I have no idea what I will be going or how i can still spend the max amount of time with my girls. I want to take this course to feel the connection to other women who have experienced the same hurts and devastating news as me. To be able to glean from their insight and experience and to hopefully get an idea on how to heal and receive forgiveness for my part in this.

I first found out that something wasn't right with my husband last year November 2016. He had to go to the hospital because he was not feeling well. He ended up having to take some X-rays so the nurse told him that he would have to leave his things including his phone with me. I took his belongings and I had his phone then I saw this picture of this lady pop up and she was she was pucker in her lips up as if to blow a kiss. I thought that was strange my heart sink to the bottom of my feet. I pulled up the text message and I'm beginning to read conversation ensued and my husband was saying that he wanted to be with this woman. I don't know what to do. I need help. I don't know what to do and I asked my husband again he still continues to lie. I told him to stop lying because I know and I asked him why and he says he doesn't know. He has a problem and we need both to get counseling. I need help and my husband needs help. I am so distraught and I can barely function. I try not to think about it but that's all I think about. Please help me

I discovered my husband's porn addiction, emotional affair, and attempt to join a dating site three years ago. He is in active recovery, doing everything "right" - but I am stuck. I stopped loving him at least a decade ago, after giving up trying to get him to participate in our marriage/sexuality. Our marriage was already barely hanging on when D-Day happened, that just took it to a whole new level. We also had a second D-Day last October, which was actually worse than the first one, because he knew what was at stake. I am looking for some clarity about whether (and how) to forgive, stay with him, try to love him again, etc. I have also done a lot of my own recovery work, but I still feel like I'm ambivalent - there is no spark in my heart to motivate me to reach towards him. Hoping that yet another program can help.