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we've made progress since d-day; but have recently moved and are no longer in counselling. I have more hope than pain these days; but know there is more healing ahead. I am sure this would help!

My spouse carried on a 16+ Long Term Adulterous betrayal with a 30+ supposed friend of mine and the family. The majority of their adultery was carried out in our house and in our bed. This has caused so much pain, and my spouse claims not to remember when it started or a lot of the detail. Not sure if he's covering his cheating backside or truly doesn't remember. I discovered their adultery and he lied about the length and using our bed. he finally confessed after many lies and denials at a marriage intensive in MI, that it had gone on (supposed 1 or 2 times a year) for much longer. So much pain, since our families were very entwined and our children were also friends.

We're going on 3 years since Dday. We've had some counseling but no official infidelity counseling. They want to work on communication and other issues. I feel like this could help us get over the hump and start down the other side to the great marriage ahead. All the infidelity retreats or courses are so expensive, the web sites help but I feel personal help would be so much better.

My husband and I have been together for 12 years, we were high school sweethearts. We had a very rocky and dramatic relationship since we were so immature. After I had our son I had postpartum depression for about 6 months. I enrolled in full time school and full time job. Had no time to spend with my husband the little I had I spent with my son. I am not trying to excuse what he did or blame myself no, HE cheated not me, but I am at a point in the recovery process where I can see no one is perfect, yet yes he made the mistake and I've made him pay for it this year. I was paranoid and questioning all his moves and he had to show me his phone and explain everything he did to me at one point, I lost the love I had for him, and he prevailed through all of it something he would have never done before knowing him how impatient he is. Yes it's nothing compared to what he made me, made us go through, but he chose to come clean and take whatever I brought to the table come what may. There is hope. I would love to take the Harboring Hope class though because I think it would help us over this hurdle of the first year anniversary of disclosure, 2 days after Valentine's Day, it is ruined for me.

In June I found out about my husband's several year long affair. I would love to be part of a group with other women who have experienced the same sort of betrayal. I have nobody that I know of in the same situation. We have been married almost 30 years. We have five kids.

I could really use this resource. I'm learning so much just reading comments from all of you here, listening to the short videos, and doing the 7 day boot camp on my own. My spouse betrayed me over one year ago and though we have had some counseling, we are still struggling. I am not sure whether to quit or stay. We've been married 31 yrs. and have grown children who also know and are suffering just watching us try to make things work without having a lot tools to work with. I'd love to do whatever program I can here because whether I stay or go, I need to get healthy so that I don't feel as though I can't make it on my own, which is sort of how I feel now. I want to chose to stay because I love my spouse and both of us want to stay and work on our marriage not because we are needy.

I have been trying to recover from multiple affairs that my husband has had, We have been to counsellors together and alone, but they have all left the agency that my work pays for and we have been unable to find them. I now have no one to talk to about what happened, and how to move forward. It has been 2 and 3 years since the DDay discoveries. My husband didn't tell me about one till a year after I found out about the first one.

I would be very grateful to win this course. I need a place to learn that can help me rid myself of all the anger and hurt I am still feeling.

I would also like to thank Rick and this site for giving us information, and hope. It was one of my first resources and is still helping me 3 years later.

We are 10 months out from D-Day and working hard to repair the damage of my hsband's 5-year affair. We are finally to the point where we have more good days than bad, and I am beginning to have a glimmer of hope that we can survive this.

But I can't get over the feeling that I did something wrong, something to make him unhappy, something that drove him to do this. I know everyone says this, but my husband is the LAST person I would have suspected. For him to do something that goes against his moral character -- I just feel it must be my fault.

It would help so much to talk to others in my situation.

I have been separated now divorced for two years. I believe I am receiving designs to remain hopeful. Whenever I am determined to move on, something alwAys happens to renew my hope. I want to learn if I am handling my situation properly, or if I should be doing something different.

It's been 2 1/2 years since I discovered my wife's affair. There is still no physical contact or desire by her to work on use. We get along fine as housemates and parents, but I just fall into deep depression some times. I have hope and faith but it's so hard. I have committed to myself till both kids go to college but that's three more years. I know God can us thus struggle for good. So I just need to focus on my faith and hope.

My discovery day was 3 months ago. I know many betrayed spouses feel alone and think no one could understand their pain, but searching through countless websites and reading so many unfortunate stories helps you see that you are not alone, your thoughts and feelings are normal, you were not the first and probably will not be the last person that is faced with infidelity in their marriage. So what do you do when you can't connect with someone's story, when you can't find someone out there in cyber world who understands exactly what you're going through, when you can't find a success story of a couple that made it through the dark experience that you are facing? That's where I am today. My story is so unreal that it sounds more like a Lifetime movie or an after school special. I even had a pastoral counselor tell me that I needed "professional" help because what my husband did was too much for him to handle and he could not help us. The funny thing is I agree. It IS too much to handle and I wonder everyday why I'm still here. I don't know if my husband is a sexual addict or just a serial cheater, if he's broken because of an abusive childhood or if it's genetic because he's the result of an adulterous affair. I do know I love him and I believe God would not allow this to happen if he did not have a plan to get me through this, and ultimately a testimony for me to share when it's all said and done. I believe God uses everything and nothing goes to waste. But, boy, I sure wish I had somewhere to go, someone to talk to, someone who could understand and tell me I'm not crazy for staying and believing that my husband could change, and someone to say even though my story is extreme there STILL IS HOPE.

Affair Recovery and Harboring Hope is truly an answered prayer. My husband revealed in November 2013 that he had a year long sexual affair with a person he met in an online chat room and lied about it for nearly 5 years. It has been just under 2 years since I learned about all of this. I have been praying during these 2 years for God to send me/us the resources that He wanted to provide for us to begin healing for me/us and the restoration of our marriage. I have not told any family or friends any of this, nothing. I finally decided just last month to finally (very cautiously) look online to see if there was anything that could begin to make sense of this entire mess and, low and behold, the compassionate people of Affair Recovery came my way. I am so hopeful to have found the invaluable information found throughout the articles and videos provided here. Why did I wait so long to search out help? I don't know but God does and I trust His prompting me of now, rather than sooner. I believe that God brings help when it is the right time for that help to come and not any sooner. Harboring Hope would be the "official" beginning of the healing process for me/us. I am not certain that our marriage can be saved but I am certain that I want to heal. Thank you for all that you do!!

It's been just over two years since D day. My wife doesn't won't to leave but doesn't won't to work on us either. With my continuing flooding, and reminders every time I see her AF partner I'm just losing hope.

The nature of my husbands affair, his loss of job, threatened legal proceedings, lies, church conflict and his immaturity has left me feeling completely ripped off for something I never deserved nor did. I have been tarred through the circumstances of this and am finding it hard to want a life with him because of all the trauma he has caused me. I have always been an Independant and strong woman, but this has broken me and I don't know if it is fixable.

Please help me, I feel dead inside. I feel I have no emotion or thoughts as the flooding takes over any reason.
I do love and care for my H, I just don't think he really understands how much pain he has caused me. Just last night he came home an hour later than he should have - he works in a shopping center that closes at 5pm Saturday's, we live 25mins from. He claims he was still at work. He refuses to talk about his 13 month affair, and when he does, if I asked a question about something that happened, he will point out the way I treated him, and that I don't care about his feelings. I have been reading AR since November 2014, and I have come a long way since then, but I am stuck moving forward.

I would love to do the harboring hope course. My husband left me on very little notice and with little or no explanation october 2014 and since then I have watched and enjoyed lots of your blogs - Samuel's and Lynns blog clips in particular have been really helpful to me. At my husbands request I filed for divorce against him on grounds of adultery. He never tried, he never communicated, he just left and then got his solicitor (after about 6 months) to write to me saying "my client would like you to divorce him". The main reason I want to do the course is that looking after 2 small children and working full time I have not really processed any of the pain (and painful it is). I think the course would help so much. I have told lots of people how great this website is and i would love to win the free entry to harboring hope course. thank you

Praying I am picked for the HH course. Today it's been 4 months since D-day and I'm anxious and hopeless. Support would be a life line.

I am a year and a half out from discovery and still the marriage is in shambles. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

my life was blown apart when I discovered my husband's affairs. I then was also re-traumatized a year into recovery when I discovered his very ugly past (pre marriage). I would run for the hills despite having had what I believed a very beautiful passionate, loving marriage. (not knowing he had led this very secret dark life and was a master deceiver). The only reason I want to try HH is for the sake of my beautiful children who I have been able to shield as much as possible from this devastation up to this point. My marriage is dead. Our family is intact and it breaks my heart that my innocent children will have to be crushed and traumatized if I end it all. HH would be my last attempt at trying to see if this can be saved - for my precious children's sake who deserve every fighting chance at a normal life.

Now I know why he never could quite commit let alone propose. We were not married but I thought we were so close ... People thought we were married.
He is still my best friend but this is going no where and I should leave. He started counseling which really did not help and fell away from it. He has made changes but I do not trust them. We are trapped in a vicious cycle. It is like we both know the only way out is through but the GPS has no signal.

Being the betrayed is such a lonely situation to be in. I would love to join a Harboring Hope group to help me cope.

It has been a year since I first found messages to the AP. First flirting, then more. Basically, exactly what you outline in your article here:
https://www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/online-affairs-tweeti…

After 15 years of being together and coming up on our 14 year anniversary, three kids, house, dog, etc. we've had the roughest year of our marriage.
A year later the texting and messaging is still going strong (with other parties), because she doesn't see it as harmful (or doesn't respect our relationship enough for it to matter). Our marriage wasn't perfect, and we both needed to invest more into it, but checking out at this point isn't going to make matters better. She has withdrawn from all our church friends and has surrounded herself with people that are encouraging her to live for herself.
As of writing this, we're still no closer to resolve than we were a year ago. We're stalled and she's locked up and has locked me out.
Something like your Harboring Hope program I feel may be the only way to get things pointed in the right direction. We need the encouragement of others that have made it through rough spots and come out stronger on the other side. We both need a positive support group around us (something that's hard to do that with people we know because things become too personal).
We recently bought a new house, so we don't have the funds to pay for this on our own.
We need help and can only hope we are chosen. God is good and I will continue to stand in a posture of restoration and healing. Until then, hope and faith in God are all I have.
Thank you!

I am writing this out of a sense of total desperation. My husband and I have been married for 14 years. He had an affair in 2011 and i thought he had stopped seeing her, but later found out that he continued to see her. Their affair was about 7 months or so. He filed for divorce, but later rescinded it. I moved out of the house for a year. We have 3 children.

I have tried so hard and sacrificed so much, and in many respects, we have been closer than before. However, I still feel the pain as if it was yesterday.

I responded now because of your recent article. I just know the pain continues to be more than I can take. I don't know when he's lying to me. How can I be in a marriage with someone like that? I have forgiven him. I don't want him to suffer and I don't think he owes me anything. I still get triggers and I still see them together even after all this time. I don't see how anyone ever regains the trust. Yes, he is open and tells me everything, but he is so good at lying.

It's like it all happened yesterday. I don't know how to get rid of this pain. I've prayed and prayed and been in therapy and talked to my pastor, but I'm so lost, I feel like I can't cope anymore.

I discovered my husbands adultery with a supposed friend of mine Aug. 1, 2013. I confronted him and he said he and the adultery co-conspirator had been at it for 1 1/2 to 2 years. The Adultery Co-conspirator has been involved in our lives for over 30 years, prior to our marriage. The Adultery Co-conspirator was in my home for many events. I have told my WS that I can't look back on any of the past since I don't know if the Adulterous Co-conspirator was ever my friend or always out for my WS. I can't begin to even look at pictures or try and remember good times, since the adulterous co-conspirator was so very intertwined along with her betrayed family with ours. What a huge waste. I could use help with healing from this huge mess that two very selfish people created.

After 4 years of his gas lighting and abusive continual lying I need help to not hate this man I have been married to since 1980 his serial cheating and lying and hate filled words said to me and said behind my back he even wanted our 8 children to hate me. I need help as my heart has turned to stone.

Its been two years since d day and my wife still just won't to be freinds. I'm about to give up and get on with my life.

I found out about my husbands affair in December of 2014. He lied and swore to me it was only emotional but I knew that wasn't the full truth. The truth came out through a series of smaller confessions. Each one brought me to a lower point I didn't think possible. It's been 8 months since the initial discovery. I don't want to be divorced but cannot find any hope that he will make the efforts to truly restore my trust and rebuild a new marriage with me. Most days, he doesn't seem to care. If there isn't any hope for my marriage how can I find hope for myself and my children. I'm lost in a sea of horrible depression and nothing seems to help me find the hope and strength i so desperately need.

I would love to take the Harboring Hope course so that I will have another resource to help in my recovery. My spouse is ambivalent. I would like to make it work. I love him and I love our 2 young children. I can't make him reciprocate, but I can take action to heal myself.

My husband of 30 years confessed to a three year affair with another woman in a city he travels to. D day was May 23rd which is also my second son's birthday. He told me because his AP got caught. My husband has also made many mistakes with our money and being picked for this would be a huge help. I need hope for saving our marriage and I think this could help.

I am trying to make my marriage work after years of affairs. My husband says he wants it to and does a few things but I still catch him in lots of lies.