I stink at being alone. I have never been alone; not even my time in my mother's womb was in solitude—I am a twin. I have always shared birthdays, rooms, busses, spotlights, cookies, bathrooms, etc.
When I first arrived at college, I remember sitting in my new dorm room by myself. My soon-to-be roommate would never show. Apparently she got cold feet and withdrew from the university. I remember for the first time in my life having a very primal...
Samuel shares insight into why we find ourselves alone as unfaithful spouses.
Samuel shares six gifts we can give ourselves to help heal from infidelity.
This quote flashed on the screen behind the minister in church today. He'd already said he was not going to comment on any of the quotes behind him as he had his own schtick to say. When I read this, he lost me for a few moments as I took in the wisdom within the printed words.
And then it occurred to me—I have attempted to pour out the effect my husband's betrayals have had on me in hope that you, the reader, might...
Samuel shares insights from his own personal journey with despair and hopelessness on how to make it to the other side.
Samuel shares the seven biggest pitfalls couples are struggling with in 2019.
When we entered into recovery from infidelity, there was a long season of disbelief—even though I was telling the truth. Granted, after what I had done to my marriage, I didn't deserve to be believed; nevertheless, it is a very disheartening and discouraging time.
After discovery, I knew I had hit what many would call "rock bottom." I was so tired of my lies, my life, and myself—so I came clean. I told the entire truth about what I had done. For the first time in my life, it felt good to...
It's all too common for women to have to navigate the self-condemning voice of insecurity. And although all of us are susceptible to these narratives, a betrayed woman especially has to fight against the negative messages she might believe about herself in the aftermath of her mate's infidelity. In today's video, you will hear an approach from one of our EMS panel specialists for identifying and moving through personal insecurities and walk away with tools for reclaiming self-acceptance. We hope that you will be encouraged to take a deeper look within as you allow the pain to be transformed.
Remember Inside Out – the Disney Pixar movie where each character represents different parts of a little girl's emotions? Each emotion – or character in the film – vies for attention and control inside her mind. It's a cute idea, and one steeped in reality.
Riley Anderson is born in a small town in Minnesota. Within her mind's Headquarters, five personifications of her basic emotions — Joy,...
I am the other woman.
By admitting that, I know I am the one person that truly and most easily deserves your hatred and your spite. I know I am a source of your anger and contempt. I am a huge source of your pain. Essentially, I am the person that is largely responsible for the ache in your heart that seems like it will never go away.
I am quite certain you must periodically wish that I had never existed. Of course, I am making a huge presumption; I can hardly even...
Samuel interviews MJ Denis once more, discussing how the betrayed spouse can help soothe themselves when the wayward spouse won't get help of their own.
I'm not the one who cheated,why do I feel so ashamed? Am I going crazy? Why is this so hard for me? Is healing actually possible? Is forgiveness what I think it is? What's normal when it comes to sex?
As I began to wrap my head around the betrayal in my marriage, I was bombarded with questions like...
MJ Denis returns to the studio to discuss sexual trauma, infidelity, and her upcoming session at Hope Rising 2019.
Samuel interviews an adult child of a wayward spouse who shares her personal journey of healing and restoration.
Samuel shares insight into five ways to measure the effectiveness of your own personal healing.
Samuel has a heart to heart talk with those in crisis due to infidelity about their own healing and restoration.
Samuel uncovers the truth behind why the unfaithful spouse resorts to blaming their spouse or partner for their affair.
Samuel addresses a significant pitfall couples fall into when trying to recover from infidelity.
I poured diesel fuel on our bonfire last Christmas Eve.
That's something I've taught my children to never do.
The results were spectacular, the flame ignited the vapor in the can and the explosion blew the can out of my hand and across the field. Thankfully I wasn't hurt, but my kids got a great reminder as to why you don't pour fuel on a fire.
This week I'd like to discuss some of the least productive things...
Samuel answers a viewers question about respect and the repair process.
I've been reading about something called 'neural plasticity' in Emily Nagoski's book, Come As You Are – a book often recommended by Rick to learn about women's sexuality. In the midst of this seemingly endless period of 'recovery,' I really needed to read something positive and hopeful and validating.
How could a book discussing women's sexuality and brain science be uplifting?
When we find ourselves stuck in the slog of trying to change another's attitude about...
This past month, I had the opportunity to take a two-week trip traveling through Germany, Poland, Austria, the Alps, and the Czech Republic with my oldest daughter. Although I have journeyed to three of the other continents, I had never been to Europe. It was an educational trip, full of history about Jewish culture, the Nazi regime, and World War II. Growing up, I had an appreciation for history but never had great teachers on the subject. Because of this, I left for the trip excited, yet...
Samuel answers a viewer's question about making it up to the betrayed spouse.
Samuel shares more insight into why the unfaithful spouse must forgive themselves if they are going to heal.
Samuel shares the battle unfaithful spouses must work through towards self compassion.
What is the biggest predictor of how couples will respond to the trauma of betrayal? What makes recovery more difficult for some than others? What makes some more resilient than others? Answers to questions such as these are crucial for those trying to find the most productive path for their healing.
In an effort to learn more about the impact of trauma on those experiencing infidelity, Affair Recovery is conducting a survey using the Adverse Childhood Experiences scale (ACE) to determine the ongoing impact of previous trauma on individuals recovering from infidelity. If our survey shows a connection between previous childhood trauma and the trauma associated with infidelity then it may help explain one reason why recovery is more challenging for...
Samuel discusses some of the most common pitfalls and cop outs spouses use when trying to heal.
"For what it's worth: it's never too late to be who you want to be. I hope you live a life you're proud of, and if you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start over." – Eric Roth
Three years can sometimes seem like three thousand years, and at other times, it feels like...
Samuel shares a key viewpoint which is essential for couples to heal from infidelity or addiction.
Samuel gets personal today and shares how he handled the loneliness that infidelity created for him.