Roots: Part 1

affairrecovery-survivors Blog-Elizabeth-Roots-Pt-1-keep pursuing the endeavors that will deepen your roots

But blessed is the one who trusts in Me alone;
the Eternal will be his confidence.
He is like a tree planted by water,
sending out its roots beside the stream.
It does not fear the heat or even drought.
Its leaves stay green and its fruit is dependable, no matter what it faces.
Jeremiah 17:7-8

My roots have been shallow. . .

We live on ten acres. By Texas standards (where I grew up), this is not much land. But here in the Midwest, it rains all of the time, and I am continually amazed at how much STUFF you can grow on only ten acres. It is plenty of room for our horses, livestock projects, birds, dogs, cats, and whatever else wanders onto our place.

My husband jokes that all he does is mow. And unlike Texas, all it seems I do is take care of everything that grows so that he can mow! One of the things I am grateful for in our marriage is that we do make a pretty good team in that area. And in case you are reading this and wondering if you will ever joke again in your marriage, you will. You will actually know that you are starting to heal when you find you both can laugh at something.

For the last several years I have been working on eradicating the honeysuckle that takes over our property. It will wrap itself around fences, trees, existing shrubs and completely choke them out. The stuff is nasty. And it is everywhere. Believe me when I tell you I almost get angry when I go into Bath and Body works with my daughters and they sell Honeysuckle scented stuff. I want to scream at that because why would anyone want to smell something that is so awful for the environment?! It reminds me of the time I saw a dandelion bedspread at Pottery Barn... It is a weed! But I digress and this is a website for our recovery, and most certainly not my views on weed control. . .

Here's the thing about honeysuckle. It has a really creative root system. They run deep and wide and when you think the plant is gone it will come back. Sometimes weeks or months or even years later. Those roots are intricate, deep, and won't be deterred with just one simple spray of Round up.

I wish I had roots like honeysuckle.

If you are unfaithful and it seems like your spouse is never going to get over this, here's what I thought about the other day while pulling and cutting and spraying:


If you want to change, do the hard work.

It will be daily.
Recovery will and should feel like a full time job.
It will be expensive.
It has been worth every cent.

As you begin to deepen your shallow roots, your spouse won't see it. They will still doubt you and not trust much of what you are doing for a long time. This is actually a good thing and you wouldn't want it any other way. One day you might thank them that they refused to be near you while you were under construction for everyone's safety. I'm just thankful my husband stayed.

It will be a LONG time before things even break the surface and any change will become evident.

Keep pursuing the endeavors that will deepen your roots. This will involve a deliberate and conscious effort to eradicate anything toxic or (we will use the word sinful if you are a church goer) in your life, including dishonesty, selfishness, and pride. Most of your change will be underground and it will go slowly. Most days, only you and Your creator will see it.

But know that deep within yourself, you can grow into something worthwhile, dependable, and beautiful.


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Thank you for writing this. I

Thank you for writing this. I read this just in time. I have been doing my own work nearly daily. bible studies. writing Bible down in my notebook. I love the root system analogy. I keep thinking maybe I am not doing enough, otherwise why in the earth he still won't see me changing yet.
But it is not. Like you said, the surface is not evident yet. It is a full time job.
Thank you for the encouragement!! I need this.

I am happy to hear that you

I am happy to hear that you received encouragement just when you needed it! It is so hard for me to sometimes base my "growth" on my spouse's pain, when they are two separate issues. Keep doing what you are doing. Daily! Keep seeking Him.

Thank you.

Thank you.
Sometimes the rooting progress is not evident when you manage to screw up again in every in awhile. Thank you for writing this, gives me hope. That even though I still fail, probably on God and I only know, where my heart is, what I do every day, how much I care, how much I want to do, what I work on and want to keep improving upon. No one can see any of this. I know my roots are slowly digging down. I wont stop until I have amazing roots!
Thank you

You are welcome. Keep

You are welcome. Keep working. I will be doing the same!

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