When It Seems Like Everything has Changed...

affair recovery-survivors blog-elizabeth-when it seems like everything has changed

When it comes to God, one of the most beautiful things about Him is also what I find most fascinating about Him --- He simply won't change. He doesn't budge and He is who He says He is. Yesterday, today, forever.

God does not keep office hours or change His mind on a matter. He won't get bored and He sure isn't fickle. His compassion will never end. He will never tire of hearing or listening to our broken hearts.

For all of us trying to sort out the mess of our lives created by infidelity, change is perhaps the most difficult thing to absorb and comprehend. None of our lives will ever be the same. I don't know about you, but it has been really painful to accept that the landscape of each of our lives is forever altered. Our marriages no longer look or feel the same. If your spouse is still with you, you know what I am talking about. "It" seems to always be there, underneath the surface. The awful memories that never fade away. "It" really happened. The one thing you promised you would never do, you did. And the nightmare you never wanted became your reality.

To say that the change can be exhausting and overwhelming is an understatement.

There is no eraser, rewind button, or control-alt-delete option.

This is where I definitely need something and Someone bigger than me.

How can God see us all the same? How can He offer the same mercy and forgiveness for what I've done and be willing to love me just the same?

He says He loves us. He always has. God is not some power hungry puppet master that is staring down on us, waiting to send lightning bolts to condemn us. He seems to give an awful lot of chances before His patience runs out. I know God is a loving Dad who says, "Hey, you need to stop living like that. I gave you the command that going outside your marriage was going to hurt you and you didn't listen. But now you are starting to see why I said that. It was a pain too great for you. It was too much for you to handle and you really hurt your spouse by disobeying Me. But I love you, so I will always give you a second chance. And I will be enough to mend your spouse's heart too. Because I don't change and I am always enough for you."

And for those of you whose hearts are broken, God is the One who will never forsake you even when your spouse has. He sees you. If anyone understands what it is like to be rejected and cast aside, He does.

To know that God is enough for both sides of infidelity is incredible. Today I find myself in awe of all the ways He is never changing and always loving. The perfect balance of justice and mercy.

In humility,
Elizabeth

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Beautifully Said

Thank you for this beautiful reminder.

Welcome!

Welcome!

Change is hard..he will

Change is hard..he will always love me but I'm scared of who the new me will become will not be loved by my spouse..this has been a concern if mine for quite some time..she dies seen to be trying and giving me grace to still be here and trying to mend .. thank you for this blog. Tears and hurt is all I have it seems over what I have done...

Thanks for commenting. Tears

Thanks for commenting. Tears and hurt are a good place, I think? Hard place, but a good one. Keep healing.

Change is hard..he will

Change is hard..he will always love me but I'm scared of who the new me will become will not be loved by my spouse..this has been a concern if mine for quite some time..she dies seen to be trying and giving me grace to still be here and trying to mend .. thank you for this blog. Tears and hurt is all I have it seems over what I have done...

When it seems like everything has changed

Thank you for another Honest but yet encouraging post. God is about the only thing that gives me strength and hope when i feel the shame, deep sadness and sometimes despair over what i have done . I am trying to focus on all the ways he is making me new and better. Thanks be to God that he is the-one who loves us unconditionally. I relate to your posts very much. Thanks for sharing.

He is good and He is enough.

He is good and He is enough. Nice to hear from you.

change is hard, how can God

change is hard, how can God be so merciful and yet my mate keeps doing the same behaviors. I keep trying to look to God and give a chance that the vow we took were meant to keep my family together, but maybe I am only seeing what I want to see and not Gods message. Harsh reality to know the behaviors that need to change are not changing.

God is merciful, but I know

God is merciful, but I know the truth that I needed to discover and hear after my own infidelity is that God will never bless a person in their sin. I hope you are finding good counsel. I don’t know if you’ve ever read any of Leslie Vernicks books or checked out her website, but they are very good and perhaps will give you some wisdom.

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