This is so timely during another time of our lives when our own piece of the world has been thrown into chaos. It’s reinforcing in my own world as I look out the window with a snowstorm blowing around, that I can use the tools that I have “learned” in HH, EMS Intensive Weekend, and MFL that can help keep me grounded weathering another possibly life altering experience with Covid-19. Thanks Samuel for keeping the videos coming out to us.

Oh my goodness I am so grateful for this this morning!!! It completely puts into perspective what I’ve been feeling for over a week and makes me feel so much less alone. I couldn’t figure out why the heck I was feeling the way I was. And what you said about “I thought I was so much further along” hit the nail on the head. I thought I was going backward! I’m so relieved. Thank you!!

Thank you for the encouragement. There are a few things that have been helping us during this time and have actually given us a sense of peace. I look at this time as a blessing for my husband and I, as we now have increased time together at home to focus on healing. The enormity of what I learned on T-day (I call it truth day), seems so much larger to my little world than anything going on outside. My world was rocked January 18 and I feel like nothing could get worse than this pain.

Some helpful ideas, some that Samuel touched on:
1. Use this time to talk and study together. It will accelerate your healing. We do a daily Bible study as husband and wife and we pray together multiple times during the day. We just stop what we’re doing and pray. We also listen to the AR videos together. That has been a huge blessing. My husband is a first responder so is gone 24 hours at a time, we try to text each other throughout the day and we were meeting together to pray before his station became off-limits. He calls me every night before bed and we pray together over the phone
2. We have been going to therapy twice a week as a couple, and once a week on our own. Our counselor said he can do remote sessions if needed.
3. Read marriage books and discuss.
4. Go for long walks or drives together and talk, talk, talk.
5. Make love more often. ❤️
6. We have downloaded hymns and worship music and have stopped listening to secular music. Who needs more reminders of how ugly the world is in push to glorify sin?
7. Cook meals and eat together. I’ve also been making meals for others. I get up and make my husband breakfast before work so that we can sit together and do Bible study.
8. Reach out to trusted friends of the marriage, call or message, renew relationships.
9. Take more naps together and just hold each other.
10. Journal more. Think and write and do some self discovery. This week I’m going to make a list of things I like about myself. That might seem strange, but my self-esteem took a hit the last couple of months. I need to remind myself about who I am as a child of God, the gifts and the talents and the wisdom that he has instilled in me in my 63 years on this earth.
11. Make the most of this time of more togetherness without the worldly distractions. Stay off social media as much as possible and turn off the news as much as possible. It can be quite destructive to make that your focus.

Be well!

I appreciate this website so much and the videos from Samuel and Wayne. I am a new member but have been active (almost to the point of an addiction) in my recovery from day one from my husband's affair. D-Day was April 5th last year (2019), so on top of COVID I'm extremely triggered/sensitive by the upcoming 'anniversary'. I'm still waiting on full disclosure from my husband who is 'working on it'. He's still mostly in the 'I just want this to go away camp'. Needless-to-say, I feel traumatized still on top of being traumatized. I still go to my office during the day even though most of our staff is working from home just to get out of my house. It's hard enough being with my husband at night and on weekends let alone all day as well! I have such anxiety most the time. We have two boys age 10 and 13.
I appreciate hearing all of the encouraging words because most days I don't know how anyone lives through this pain and it's hard to believe it will actually end one day. I can't imagine waking up one day without my heart aching.
If anyone could anyone give some suggestions (betrayed and unfaithfuls) on how to handle the first D-Day anniversary I'd be so grateful. I'm struggling with this so much.
Much love and light to all!

Thanks for these practical tips. it has been very difficult for us. DDay was in December, then with Covid I left the country we work, and my husband was supposed to come later, but borders are closed with no flights. We have been trying to work on recovery but distance has not helped at all, a 12 hours difference time zone makes it difficult, added that I'm with my elderly parents and my mom is not doing well mentally. I really need to stay grounded, I would appreciate prayers. First Steps Boot Camp has helped us during this time, it took us about two weeks to complete it, but it gave me a bit of hope. Thank you for the videos and articles that are keep coming!