Rick, I feel a major load of resentment from my wife which prevents her from responding to any kind of connection I attempt. She has said, and even told our children, that she did not marry me for the right reasons and that has kept her from committing to our marriage of 34 years. She resented the fact that she was married to me and not free to pursue her AP, and separated from me when she felt that relationship failing due to her marriage commitment. She remained separated even after her AP married his other girl-friend (yeah, I know but she doesn't think it was crappy for him to be seeing two women simultaneously one, one who was married). She returned home just short of the official abandonment period with the excuse that she felt I would harm myself - I only threatened a divorce if she could not come home and work on our marriage. She resents me helping her with crafts saying I take over her projects - I have a history of helping her and completing some when she abandons them. She resents our children having a better relationship with me because I have tried to be steadfast and hold to my commitments and self-honor. She even resents my depression when she acts in ways that hurt me. Is there anything I can do to help her get over that? It seems that the more I try, the more she resents. I am about to give up and just go find a lawyer to dissolve this mess. It is the only path down which there may be progress. FYI- D-Day was October 16, 2010. She had left a month before that swearing there was no other man. We have since tried traditional individual and couples counseling and the Marriage Fitness program. I had tried to get her to go to Retrovai and also talked to your group in the fall of 2011. Divorce is not what I want, but I am not seeing or feeling change in the current situation- in fact things have regressed to where we are just together in the same house. I am not the sort of person to sit back and do nothing which I feel I have been doing while she purports to decide whether or not she wants to remain in the marriage. When I suggest divorce, she gets upset and fights about it, but then she does nothing but push me away. What advice can you give me or us?