What exactly do you mean when you say the unfaithful spouse needs to process their feelings for the affair partner in order to move on? What does that look like? Without access to a good therapist, how would one go about doing that? It was a 6 month long distance emotional affair with a first love. After EMSO, nearly a year of no contact with affair partner, and improvements in my marriage, I still very much struggle with wondering about the affair partner, and the old feelings that were so quickly rekindled over catching up texts. I need to understand how to process the feelings for the affair partner, let go, and move on.