Category 1 - Low Rent Rendezvous

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This type of affair may well be a one-time betrayal. The typical one night stand usually occurs when a spouse is away from home, possibly on a business or pleasure trip (not to be confused with a string of one night stands that occur as a sex addict pursues his or her addictive drive), and in the heat of the moment, they give in to temptation. Often this occurs in conjunction with drinking and anonymity. This type of affair is not necessarily an indication of problems in the marriage or that the betrayer is dissatisfied with his or her mate. In fact, one of the distinguishing points in this type of affair is the desire of the betrayer to stay in their marriage.

The core of this betrayal is based upon bad choices, poor boundaries, lack of integrity, and the opportunity to act. Frequently, there is no emotional involvement, and it may well occur with a perfect stranger who is befriended in the situation. It may be motivated out of loneliness or curiosity, and is generally the result of poor boundaries and the misguided thinking that "this could never happen to me." Normally, individuals who have had one night stands tell themselves that they will go to the grave with their secret. This is not an indication that they want out of the marriage, for in fact, their fear and desire to keep it secret are indicators that they don't want to lose the marriage (even though that's the wrong approach).

Characteristics:

• It is an affair of convenience or opportunity. It is not something that is sought out, but rather occurs as the result of an opportunity that is presented.
• The betrayer does not want to leave the marriage.
• There is not an ongoing relationship.