Enter Drawing for Harboring Hope for Free

My wife has betrayed me again this time with sexting. I have more reasons to leave than stay in the marriage.
I am struggling with how to move forward. I am trying to digest the act of forgiveness for my benefit, dealing with the pain and being able to heal.

I need help so I can recover and become myself again.

I’m seeking the Harboring Hope course because I am walking through the most painful and disorienting season of my life. After 27 years of marriage, I recently discovered that my husband—a respected community leader and minister—had a year-long affair that began through Ashley Madison. The deception ran deep, and although he says it’s over, the truth only came out because I uncovered it. I’m now navigating the overwhelming weight of betrayal trauma while trying to remain strong and stable for our four children, ages 16 to 22, who don’t know the full truth.

I feel like the rug has been ripped from beneath me. The life I believed in has been shaken, and the man I trusted most feels like a stranger. As an Enneagram 9, I avoid conflict and crave peace, but this betrayal has forced me into emotional territory that feels paralyzing. I often feel caught between silence and survival, unsure how to process my pain while protecting those I love.

My husband and I recently participated in the EMS Weekend, and he is currently enrolled in Hope for Healing. While he is taking steps on his path, I know that I need support for my healing too. I’m not ready to focus on our marriage yet—I need to stabilize my own heart first. That’s why I believe Harboring Hope could be a lifeline for me. I need a space that is focused on my recovery, where I can process the grief, shock, and confusion without rushing toward forgiveness or restoration.

I want to feel grounded again, to reconnect with who I am apart from what’s been done to me. I’ve started walking daily, journaling, and practicing small self-care steps, but I know I need more structured guidance to move forward. I want to understand what’s happening inside me, to feel less alone, and to hold on to hope—not necessarily for the relationship, but for me.

If granted this scholarship, I would show up fully and use every tool to rebuild my identity and sense of safety. I want to move from surviving to healing, even if the road ahead is still unclear. Most of all, I want to become whole again—for myself and for the children I’m still guiding through life.

Thank you for considering my application. This opportunity would mean more than words can express.

D-Day was 5/3/25. 17 years of marriage and 4 kids. I knew we were in a busy/stressful spell, but never would have guessed my wife would have gone outside the marriage to meet her needs. I have tried to model compassion and forgiveness but it is met with deceit and a lack of empathy. I pray this will change in time, but truly no way to know. We started but didn't even get through Day 1 of boot camp.

My husband had an affair 4.5 years ago. I have tried so hard during that time to be the strong one, the one to can bounce back, the resilient one, the strong example for my two daughters. But I have reached my breaking point and just need help. I don't know what to do, can barely function at home, and break down in tears at the drop of a hat. My husband has been very repentant and cooperative, but I just can't seem to hold on to the hope that things are going to be ok.

I told partner a year ago that I had betrayed him and I have been largely consumed with my own mental health journey (recovery from codependency, etc.) since then, leaving him feeling mostly unattended to and hanging on to the relationship by his pinky toe. We love each other and have two young children. My heart is in the right place, but I have trouble sufficiently focusing on affair recovery on my own and am hoping that the weekly committment and community of Hope for Healing will help me turn to my husband in a way he can actually feel.

I am not sure where to start. This our second marriage for both of us. I had one daughter from my first marriage and he had no children. we have been married for 20 years. We were blessed 2 children and I thought that we had a very good life. We were both immigrants, and we started our lives here with few suitcases but by working very hard we built a decent life here. My husband took on the role of the father for my 1st child. We were always sharing and supporting each other with everything. We had our share of challenge's, especially with in-laws butting in to our personal space – which was a cultural thing . He was trying to develop a side business, I was took on more and more the needs of the house and kids trying to give him more time for the business.
Once he told me that he found this young woman from our country of origin, via a platform for freelancing jobs to boost online visibility for his business. she was only 4 years older than my eldest child. he was praising her work and I thought he was getting the help. I too had spoken with her. Her laptop broke beyond repair and was not able to do her freelance work, then I loaned her funds to buy one, as a way to assist a young woman. Another time she had asked my husband whether we could lend her USD1500, for her to try doing some investing saying that she will pay back $100 a month, which I agreed etc. She was not the only freelance person my husband was working with. Honestly she was the one I would have suspected the least, if at all, as she did not have a personality nor the background or education, that to my husband’s taste at all or to the husband I thought I knew.
Unfortunately, they had started chatting in early 2022, and developed it in to an online relationship. Then last November he was very forceful that he should attend a weeding in our original country. We both couldn’t go due to our kids. He had gone to spend time with her. They enjoyed the time living together, a honeymoon for a week and since coming back he was very stressed and said busy with work, only to find chatting for hours sexting many times a day, including from our bed. He forcefully went again to another wedding in March 2025 for week of honeymooning.
My kids had seen some texts and the DD was March11. Since finding he left home without a word. Promised sun and moon saying he stopped it and wanted to come back home, came back on April 1st. Only to find he had come with a new hidden phone. I discovered it on April 9th. Since then he says he has not spoken with her. I do not see any remorse and any effort to make the marriage work. He says, forget the past lets move forward.

After 22 years of marriage, I never imagined I'd find myself in this place—trying to process the deep pain of betrayal after my wife chose to have an affair with a coworker. The discovery shook the very foundation of everything I believed we had built together. It wasn’t just the act of infidelity—it was the lies, the emotional abandonment, and the realization that the person I trusted most had made such a self-centered choice without regard for the family and life we created.

I’m seeking to take the Harboring Hope course because I’m trying to find a way forward—not just for my marriage, but for myself. I want to understand how to deal with the anger, confusion, and grief that I carry daily. I don’t want bitterness to take root in my heart. I know I can't change the past, and I can't force healing to happen overnight, but I do believe that God can redeem broken things—even something as painful as this.

The devastation of infidelity has upended my life in ways I never imagined possible. After fifteen years of marriage and twenty-three years in a relationship with my husband, his betrayal has shaken me to my core. The Harboring Hope program represents more than just a chance to process my pain—it offers a lifeline toward genuine healing and renewal.
This journey has been the most difficult season of my life. While I struggle to make sense of what has happened, I know that simply surviving is not enough. I want to reclaim my strength, my dignity, and my hope for the future. Harboring Hope seems like the right step to help me rebuild emotionally, navigate the complexities of trust, and create a path forward—not defined by betrayal, but by resilience and growth.
I am seeking guidance, support, and tools that will help me heal, not just for myself, but for the version of me that deserves peace and clarity. If given the opportunity to take this course, I would embrace it wholeheartedly and commit to taking meaningful steps toward recovery.

My SO and I have been together nearly 18 years, known each other for more than 20. We have a son, who is almost 17. D-day was Sept. 1, 2021. I happened to see a text pop up on his phone, and even without opening it up, the preview was enough to know it was bad: “Love you bae! ?” When I confronted him, instead of acting ashamed or contrite or sorry at all, he lashed out at me. Then he packed up some of his things and left, to go shack up with the AP. He spent the next 3-4 months bouncing back and forth between her and I. I finally had enough and made plans to move several thousand miles away, taking our son with me. SO panicked, begged me not to go, and in the end I stayed. That was 4 years ago.

Part of my reason for staying was to allow SO to repair his relationship with our son (who he all but abandoned during the affair). I knew if I moved, it would have been literal years before they saw each other again, and I couldn’t bear the thought of my kid losing out on a father.

To his credit, SO has definitely improved the relationship between them, and my son says he’s glad I stayed. So, for that I’m grateful. However, SO’s attitude towards our relationship is hot and cold. Although I’ve tried a number of times, a number of different ways, I’ve never been able to get a timeline, or answers to all my questions. SO keeps promising to find a therapist, but never does. We go a week or two being ok, then things start to devolve and eventually we’re having a huge fight. Usually these end with SO apologizing, professing his love, saying he needs me, and promising to make changes. Sometimes, those changes happen, but not always and they never last long.

Our kid is going to graduate in a year or so, at which point I will no longer need to stay to keep the family together, as he’ll be going off to college. I’m feeling worn out from all the ups and downs and back and forth, hot and cold. The last few years have left me decimated, mentally, emotionally and even physically. I need help to put myself back together, if not this relationship.

Found out about husband's indiscretion with his co-worker on Valentine's Day. It started just before Christmas and he supposedly endeduu it on or about Feb 11. Her husband told him he could tell me or that he would. I don't believe anything spouse says because initially he claimed it to be a flirtation, then as I asked more questions it changed to touching in passing then kissing/inappropriate touching in non-discreet places at work. Meet ups in parking lots, thousands of text messages and hundreds of minutes of phone calls including from our house when I wasn't home. They were written up at word and their behavior increased ten-fold after that. I knew in my gut something was up and almost checked the phone logs but wanted to trust him. This is our second marriage to one another. I'm in the place of do I stay or do I go. I feel like he's trying to- counseling, books, church but I just feel it's all for show because he's up for a promotion. I feel the other shoe will drop once it's official.

I have been with my partner for nearly 30 years and throughout the relationship I have maintained hope, Hope that he would stop going to the strippers. Hope that he would stop watching porn. Hope that he would stop objectifying women. Hope that he would stop befriending so many women. Hope that he would choose to spend more time at home. Hope that he would consider my feelings. Hope that he would treat me as his life partner and not an obligation. Hope that he would stop drinking so heavily. Hope that he would see my beauty though my illness. Hope that he would lift me up instead of tear me down. Hope that he would be proud that I was his wife. Hope that he would choose his family over his sports and activities. Hope that he would stop seeking out women and sex online. Hope that he would come clean to me about the affair. Hope that he would stop lying to me.

Now that we are in EMSO I am hoping that I finally know all of the truth. I am hoping that the list of behaviors don't return. I am hoping that he is choosing this marriage as much as I am.

All the years of hoping has destroyed me. I no longer recognize myself. I don’t know what I want out of life or myself. I don’t feel capable or free to be the woman I think I actually am. I feel like all the years of hoping have drained me of any joy I have left for life. The years of stress, worry and heartache have wreaked havoc on my health. I don't want to hope that I will be okay one day; I want to know I will be. I want to be secure, happy and proud of who I am and what I have endured. I want to be strong, resilient and self reliant no matter what his choices are going forward and no matter what happens to our marriage. I want to be healed from the pain and anguish I have felt for so many years. I want the second half of my life to be filled with joy, pride and enthusiasm for life. My focus for so many years has been on him, the marriage and the kids. I would really appreciate the opportunity to take Harboring Hope to start this journey towards healing myself.

Sincerely,
Remaining hopeful

My husband of 33 years asked for a divorce and then left and went and lived with his 37 year old girlfriend, he was cheating on me for 2 years. I am blindsided. I feel all alone and am paralyzed.

Hello,
My husband and I have been going through EMS and it has been very helpful but I am still so broken that I feel like I am not letting us make as much progress as we should. I have so much trauma from repeated affairs that I do not know how to let my guard down and let him get close or even be nice to me without it feeling like a trap. EMS is great for anger and forgiveness but does not help with the fear or getting close again or what to do if you do not feel safe. My husband has feed me lies for 25 years and now EMS says I should believe what he says to feel safe and I just do not know how to do that. My husband has been out of work since July and I have no insurance to get a therapist but I really need so healing for me not just "us". Please consider me for this program. Many thanks and God Bless.

My devastating dday was 12/18/23. I found out my husband of nearly 25 years and father to my 4 children had been living a double life the last 3.5 years every single day when he walked out the door for work. He was a police chief and conducted the affair while on duty in his office and in the town he worked in or on the side of the road between home and the department. He mostly used his duty phone for communication or desk phone. In summer of 2023 my husband did Hope for Healing and last year we did EMS online. Last year I did an online women's infidelity weekly recovery group, but I still feel like I could use more help. I'm devastated that my husband would have an affair with someone a few years older than our daughter who was a toddler when we got married. I also still sometimes have a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact this is part of our story and I had no clue. We are high school sweethearts and he did this in our hometown and we had to move and leave our aging parents behind. A few months ago he finally reached rock bottom and started leaning in to our marriage but I feel like I can't ever compare to a 20 something in my 40s. I feel undesirable, insecure, I have so many triggers of places and things and I used to be so bold and confidant. And though I've learned logically how to work through that, I'm still so very broken. My focus and word this year is "joy". In pursuit of that I want to continue to heal myself. I also feel very led to help other women and couples who have had a very not linear and ugly recovery like us and I feel likes it's important for me to have taken this class to do so.

Healing from betrayal is not a straight path - it’s messy, painful, and sometimes feels impossible. The Harboring Hope class would be an invaluable resource in my healing journey as I continue to navigate the devastating impact of my husband’s betrayal. He had two affairs, and now, one of his affair partners is pregnant. The weight of this reality is something I carry daily—it feels impossible to move forward when the past continues to shape our present and future in such profound ways. There are constant reminders and triggers of both affairs, but the pregnancy is the biggest obstacle in moving forward and working towards the hope of forgiveness and reconciliation.

We recently completed the EMSO course, which was a transformative experience for both of us. It gave us the tools to heal individually and as a couple, strengthening our foundation and helping us better understand the depths of betrayal trauma and recovery. However, one thing that was missing for me was a sense of community. Three couples dropped out of the program, which meant that the group dynamic never fully formed in a way that fostered meaningful connection and shared support.

Harboring Hope would provide me with not only the tools to continue my healing but also, hopefully, a group of strong, understanding women who can walk this path alongside me. I long for a supportive community, one where I can be encouraged, validated, and uplifted by those who truly “get it.” Healing from betrayal is an isolating journey, but I believe that having a network of women who share similar experiences could make all the difference in finding strength, hope, and a way forward.

The Harboring Hope course would provide me with even more targeted support, guidance, and encouragement as I work through the pain, grief, and uncertainty of this journey. I want to reclaim my strength, rebuild my sense of self, and learn how to truly move forward—no matter what the future holds. I am committed to healing, but I know I can’t do it alone. This course feels like the next crucial step in my process, offering the kind of community and understanding that is so hard to find elsewhere.

The day of discovery of my husbands betrayal was a slow bleed with seven more betrayals from the whole length of our marriage being revealed. The pain of this slow release transparency was brutal and covered with what seemed like insurmountable suffering that kept me under water every time I reached for air with each slow released confession of yet another betrayal. I'm about 41/2 years into this revealing process and am dealing now in addition to our shattered marriage, a sexual addiction that my husband has had even before I met him. 40+years of this heinous habit that is now out in the open. I feel like I'm unable to get back on my feet with the bigness of it all. He has made giant efforts to keep our marriage but has also had several relapses. Can I ever trust, can I heal, am I losing my mind, am I being used still? How do I heal? I have received counseling and advice, all from people who haven't experience infidelity themselves and I am desperate to share with someone who has been in and made it out of the mind field of deep betrayal. I am open to any advice and direction that is out there from those who have navigated similar waters. I am so very grateful I have a relationship with Christ. I would be done in by now, if I hadn't. I want to THRIVE, not just survive.

I feel I have the world’s worst coping mechanism. In a marriage that has never thrived, I grieved the loss of this dream for many years. Each time I felt the marriage was not salvageable, I turned to others. Now it’s all on the table and we both have a moderately good grasp on how bad things were and how we left the marriage vulnerable. However, I really need some help learning about myself and why this is my pattern. I think the HHclass would be really helpful for me in terms of stopping any future behaviors, which of course is the key to making my partner feel safe. I am not addicted to sex or porn and have been traumatized when I was realizing the state of my marriage. I also know my marriage wouldn’t have survived without my affairs, and I need to reconcile all this into different actions. For the first time, after betrayals were uncovered have I ever felt like the marriage I want is possible, but it’s hinging on me figuring myself out. While I’ve done a good amount of work and reading, I need more resources to get to the bottom of things. I do not understand this behavior in myself. We have already paid for the couples class and not sure we can also stretch my individual class. Hoping I can win the drawing and do double-time work. Thanks for everything y’all do. Such a great resource for everyone going through this.

I found out in April 2024 that my husband's EA had turn into a PA and he wanted out of the marriage. I love him deeply and I do not want to break up our family. It would mean one of us would lose being in our children's lives because we are an international marriage and don't live in each others country. My husband, tough not perfect, has a good heart. Our kids love and adore him. If we split, I know I will heal and be ok, but I also know that if we can work together we can build a stronger and better marriage. I want to do this for myself, and for my kids. We deserve the best life and I intend to go for it. Here is hoping for for a good break in my luck.

Hello,
I feel so lost right now. I would love to be able to take this class for my healing. Me and my husband have been married for 27 years. He has been addicted to porn and kept using through our marriage. I would beg him to stop but he kept lying and doing so. We pretty much had a sexless marriage. I tried to communicate with him he would shut me out or blame me. In March of 2021 I found out he had one emotional affair and was infatuated with a friend of his on Facebook. Then I found out he had used multiple dating sites and hook up sites. He also said he cheated when we first started dating. I was beyond hurt. He then blamed me for the cheating and refuses to take accountability. We have been to multiple therapist and he still lies and blames me. He tells me he is sorry but keeps avoiding his accountability and blames. He says he needs more time to be accountable because he does not know his why's. We are supposed to start EMS soon. I just don't see how this will help when he will not be accountable. I hope to start this program for me I feel I could use some direction. I'm so lost and confused. He says I'm asking for to much accountability and he feels telling me he is sorry and that he cheated should be enough. I feel he should own why he chose to do this. With all this I feel it is all hopeless at this point.