What Does Change Look Like?

what does change look like - Elizabeth

Today I was reminded of a story by Portia Nelson I heard long ago:

Autobiography in Five Chapters

by Portia Nelson

Chapter One:

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost...
I am hopeless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter Two:

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I'm in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three:

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in... it's a habit
My eyes are open; I know where I am;
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter Four:

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter Five:

I walk down another street.

I still have so far to go but I am desperately searching for the different street. And while I'm not suggesting this is the "end all be all" of how change occurs, it reminds me of how difficult and painstakingly slow change can be.

I'd like to thank my husband and every betrayed spouse who is graciously giving us time to sort through the personal pain we have transmitted onto you. Thank you for giving us the time to "get it". I will probably never fully grasp the grace you bestow on us this side of heaven.

I don't know where you find yourself in this journey of recovery but my desire is that this provides hope today to continue forward. Thankfully, Affair Recovery is full of options to help us navigate our way to a new street without holes.

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I love this, thanks for

I love this, thanks for sharing! I'm looking for that different street too.

Thank you.

This is the best illustration I have ever seen of change, and it can be applied by both the unfaithful and the betrayed spouse.

Wow. That is powerful.

Wow. That is powerful. Thank you for sharing that story and for sharing part of your journey on the blog.

our cc threw that at me and

our cc threw that at me and my wife early on 1 month out. unfortunately for me my wife was still contacting and lying to everyone about it. she said i see the hole and walk around it and i laughed out loud and said she is digging the holes. for us betrayed it is 1 for a very long time, six months for me until emdr i was stuck there after it was 3. and i still fall in its just a quick out.

What type of affair was it?

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