Through the Roof

Often times, bible stories give us a picture of what is going on in our own lives right now. I’ve borrowed some of Luke chapter 5 (see below) from the new testament for some context. Though a good amount of you who read these blogs are not Christians, I truly hope in this moment, you’ll take the story as mere context for what I’ll share after. Most importantly I hope you’ll not stop reading and push through.

17One day He was teaching; and there were some Pharisees and teachers of the law sitting there, who had come from every village of Galilee and Judea and from Jerusalem; and the power of the Lord was present for Him to perform healing. 18And some men were carrying on a bed a man who was paralyzed; and they were trying to bring him in and to set him down in front of Him. 19But not finding any way to bring him in because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and let him down through the tiles with his stretcher, into the middle of the crowd, in front of Jesus. 20Seeing their faith, He said, "Friend, your sins are forgiven you." …… He said to the paralytic "I say to you, get up, and pick up your stretcher and go home." 25Immediately he got up before them, and picked up what he had been lying on, and went home glorifying God. 26They were all struck with astonishment and began glorifying God.

For many of you, it’s as if you yourself are carrying your spouse (and your marriage) to get help. I’m sure many of you just uttered under your breath, it’s more like you’re “dragging” them to get help. I do also understand, a fair amount of spouse’s won’t even let you get them or your marriage help. Whether or not it’s Jesus you’re dragging them too, I don’t know, but I’m sure some of you would gladly summon all your strength and every one of your friend’s strength, and one of your relative’s strength, just to carry your spouse to a safe place to get help.

In the above story, it wasn’t easy to get to Jesus. I’m sorry, but it seems lately like it’s never easy to get to him for an outcome we pursue. Please don’t read too far into that statement. He is in fact, just a prayer away and will never leave us or forsake us, and is more available for intimacy than we know.  

However, getting another person who is hurt, confused, angry and maybe even self-deceived, to acquiesce and get help is another story. 

I wish it was through the front door, but sometimes you have to get creative on how to get them to help. Rick isn’t Jesus, but I will tell you, there’s more help here at Affair Recovery than you may realize. There’s more of the kindness, love, comfort and understanding that was epitomized by the life of Christ than you can understand. It’s a safe place, and if you’re reading this blog you’ve probably tasted a bit of the help the site has to offer. Whether betrayed or unfaithful, many times it’s just hard to get your spouse to agree to take action and get help. You may ‘want’ to get to a healer, but they may not be in any shape to walk. 

It may take some calculated moves to get your spouse to get help.

It may mean you have to be very strategic in how to get them there.

Traditional ways, hence a front door, just may not work.

The staff at Affair Recovery is well equipped to help with strategy on how to move your spouse towards getting help.

I assure you, on the other side of the right encounter, with the right person, with the right message, like in the above story of Jesus, will produce some true glory and awe in your life and those that see and witness your story.

When people hear our story, and how Samantha was strategic to get me into recovery, it’s awe-inspiring. Not because we’re special, or that we’re something unique per se, but because of the outcome after finding the right people to help us.

If you need help on how to get your spouse to cooperate, please reach out to the Affair Recovery staff at 888-527-2367 and they will do their best to help you get your spouse to agree to get help.

And as always, if I can ever do anything, please reach out at

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Woderfuly written...

I throughly enjoy reading your blog entries and look forward to them. Your writing and knowledge is very educational and comforting. Thank you for your wisdom during this trauma that has seemed to encompass my life. Absorbing knowledge has been my sense of comfort, education on infidelity is not something I ever thought I would have to seek out.

Where can I find your story/testimony?

I love your blogs, thank you!!! I really want to know where I can hear your story/testimony of what happened, how Samantha helped helped and how you healed. It would be incredibly helpful for me and I'd d also live to share it with my husband. Its been about 7 weeks, we are separated and he is still with his AP but said he is open to entering a process with me. It's hard for me, knowing he is still with her. I need to hear stories of hope!!! Please let me know where I can find a link to watch your story.

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