Samuel discusses what safety is and why it's needed for recovery.
It seems you alluded to this, but does the unfaithful need an environment of safety as well?
If they're confident that all they'll get is condemnation, vile, threats to tell others, etc. what are they to do? Suck it up and deal with it since they're the first line wrongdoer?
Hi Samuel - This was a very good blog for me and I want to thank you so much for giving such good examples of safety; and also your above answer is extremely helpful to me. I am the betrayed and it is good for me to be reminded that my unfaithful spouse needs safety, too. Many times in our talks I start out reasonably well with my questions/comments but then my hurt/pain starts to build and I end up flooding and my husband literally shuts down, and then it is not long before he explodes into a horrible anger - an anger where I can see he is functioning from the reptilian part of the brain. I am working very hard to gain a new perspective on my emotions since my husband is working incredibly hard on doing all the safe things similar to what you talked about in this blog. It is SO hard sometimes to stay in the present and focus on all the safe things my husband is doing, but I am trying so hard to do that and see my husband in this new light. Thank you again so much for this blog, it helps to hear this information and is a great review and reinforcement for me as my husband and I move through the healing.
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Alumnus. Unfaithful. Doing his best with his 2nd chance in his marriage and life.
Alumna. Betrayed. A soul restored. Encouraging others to keep walking because there is a way through. Author of Keep Walking 40 Day Devotional
Alumna. Betrayed. Grateful for God's love and grace. Recognizing that with God as my priority, I will be okay no matter what.
Alumna. Betrayed. Determined to be positive as I navigate the quagmire of recovery.
Alumnus. Betrayed. No matter how long it takes or how hard it is, my wife is always worth it!
Alumna. Betrayed. Walking in obedience to God's direction and experiencing a richer life and Renewed marriage.
Alumnus. Unfaithful. Living life differently, enjoying my wife and family, and grateful for God’s love.
Alumna. Betrayed. Experiencing God's love after divorce. Celebrating the healing of myself and my identity.
Alumna. Betrayed. Continuing to fight for my marriage and my children.
Alumnus. Unfaithful. Living proof that seeking truth offers both incredible pain and amazing freedom.