I have a question for you. I am the step-father of my wife's five children from her previous marriage. For understandable reasons, they are all in pain and very angry with me because of my numerous affairs and the lies I have told to cover up the affairs. They do not want me to move back into the house they do not want their mom to see me or talk with me and they want her to divorce me. We have been separated and not living together for the past 13 months. Their ages range from 17 to 25. My wife and I do not know what to do other than get them professional counseling. Even if we decide to stay married after we complete the Affair Recovery process we still will not have the support of the children. What do you suggest?

HI Rick, Could you describe what healing looks like for the betrayed spouse as well as the unfaithful spouse? Also, I am would like to know why there is always a two year mark referred to when speaking about healing from affairs. I am also wondering about the thoughts or memories of affairs. I realize you will always have the thoughts and memories but what happens after you are healed and much time has passed? Should you be able to look back without being flooded with pain? Is there ever a time you reach in your marriage that the topic of affairs is not an every day occurrence? Thank you again for your help.

My unfaithful spouse and I have been in recovery for three years. I still have very low, if any, sexual desire or drive. Before recovery sexual desire was present but I believe I was interested because my unfaithful spouse was not. Sex and drama have always been connected in my past. I've read Restoring the Pleasure, Passionate Marriage and Mating in Captivity. Nothing seems to help. I thought that as I gained back trust and respect for him and matured personally thanks to recovery that desire would come eventually, it has not happened. It's very discouraging. I have sex anyways, but it does nothing for me. Sadly, I know if I was to have sex with someone knew, desire would be present. :-( We do have a preschooler and I'm an ACOA, the only two reasons I can think of that may be the issue?