Wikipedia defines courage as is the ability to confront fear, pain, danger, uncertainty, or intimidation.

There’s a school of thought that says it takes raw courage to move on from an affair and pursue life on your own without your spouse. The intimidation alone of heading out into the next chapter of your life or family without your spouse requires courage, and a willingness to stare fear in the face and move forward. This transition in life simply cannot be underscored enough.

However, it takes just as much courage (and some would say more) to face infidelity or addiction, and still choose to pursue your marriage while it’s enveloped in ashes and uncertainty. While there are many cases when a spouse is unwilling to make changes, or turn from their affair partner or addiction, and the spouse must summon all their courage and unfortunately move on.

Yet, there are times of incredible confusion and paralysis and every amount of courage must be utilized to stay, even if it’s under a short timeline to see if changes are made. My wife Samantha did this. She chose to be far more courageous than many told her to be, and decided to at least TRY and save the marriage. It was incredibly scary and she had little confidence to hold on to. Our motivation wasn’t perfect, as it was more for the kids initially than it was for us. But that was, and is, OK. Don't let anyone tell you they'll never change, unless they've been given a chance to change with the right kind of help.

You too may have little to hold on to, and you may not know what the future will look like. In fact, if you’re reading this, I’m quite sure you have no idea what the future will look like in three months, three years, or even three days. But I encourage you today, to take courage and if possible, give it a shot. You need to know you are not a fool for giving them another shot. You’re not codependent, or dysfunctional, deceived, or unhealthy to give your spouse a shot at changing; even if it’s a third time.  You’re just not. You're probably being incredibly courageous.

My wife was told all those things and more, but she decided to forgive and give us a short time to merely see if we can find healing. If we want the right kind of healing, we need the right kind of help, and it will require an investment financially, but emotionally as well. I was telling someone just yesterday that it takes far more courage to get help, and give you and your spouse a chance than it does to simply walk away, saying the affair was a deal breaker and let’s be done.

Everyone has an opinion on how infidelity should be handled, and that it’s a deal breaker, until you go through it. Then opinions have a way of changing.

Please understand, there are in fact, times when you must end the marriage. Whether it be physical harm or violence, an unwillingness to change or end things with the affair partner, or what have you. Then your courage must be utilized to take a stand for you. And that’s OK, and needed, and incredibly worthy of applause.

Today though I’d like to encourage those of you who have no clue what the future will look like, to find the courage you need to give reconciliation a chance. I know it’s dark and I know you may even feel stupid to give him or her a chance again…..But remember, it’s far more valiant to give redemption a chance than to cut ties and end things when redemption hasn’t even been given a chance. No one else is going to live the life you are living. People can say whatever they want, but you are living the life you are living and only you will be accountable for how you live and you don't need to explain yourself to them. You only need explain your life to you, your kids (and when they hear why I'm quite sure they'll admire their parent for being willing to give reconciliation a chance) and to God.

Before you celebrate the courage to end things and start anew, I’d like to invite you that have the opportunity to do so, to encourage you to try again. Right now, you just may not know what the future looks like.