Will it Ever Get Easier

Recently my family and I went on a two week vacation, picking up a travel trailer along the way and journeying across 4 or 5 different states. The trailer is a bit of a beast, I think at least 24 feet long. My SUV pulls it, but not very well and the gas mileage is something to marvel at (in an expensive, almost regretful way). My oldest wanted to see Vegas and Jodi wanted to see The Grand Canyon again, so we decided The Grand Canyon would be our last stop before we headed home to Texas.

I had no idea what kind of drive was ahead of me. The drive there was easy, in fact too easy, and now I was pulling a trailer with (at the very least) a 50 gallon water tank that was completely full.

Having so much fun in Vegas, I thought the drive to The Grand Canyon would be easy and fun.

Not true. As we headed out, monstrous hill after hill awaited us. Not just hills, but wind like I'd never seen began to blow against us. Then we arrived at the Hoover Dam which is a massive sight to see, but even more of a massive undertaking to drive over in a "High Wind Advisory." The signs were in fact, flashing High Wind Advisory and the "High Profile Vehicles Not Advised" was lit up. At this point, I was convinced they were talking about the semi's that passed by at an impressive speed, as well as tour buses.

About ten minutes into the drive, much to my chagrin, it became clear they were in fact talking about us as we were being blown from one lane to another, reaching a top speed of about 50 mph. At the conclusion of the pass, my hands hurt from gripping the steering wheel so hard for so long and I wondered what I had gotten myself into with this endeavor.

We did make it across the dam and now I'm pretty confident I can drive that trailer across anything, including ice. I'll never forget the intensity of the wind which would seemingly take control of the SUV and trailer and blow us in one direction or another, with almost little control over when and where we would be blown.

Friends it's the same way in recovery as we endeavor to save our marriages and families.

One would think that doing the noble thing, trying to save our marriage, would be celebrated and that the stars would somehow "align" for us and make it at the very least, not impossible. This is simply not the case. There is more wind and more resistance than one can itemize out in a simple blog. Yet, if you are trying to cross a Hoover Dam-like situation, I’m quite sure you know it and are encountering some of the most overwhelming chaos and pain you’ve ever felt. It's just plain frustrating and can make you want to pull over, curl up in the fetal position and just quit. But life, much less attempts at recovery, very rarely provide moments to just stop and hide from all the pain, the trauma and heartache. It can seem never ending.

But I assure you today, if you press on through the uphill climbs, there will be a downhill. In fact, I’ll never forget when I came into a small town to get gas (again) and eat. It was as if we were heading down a never ending hill, and I don’t think I even pressed the accelerator but once as we coasted for several miles into a small town and had a fantastic lunch together. It wasn’t effortless, but the closest we came to it in over 25 hours of driving.

Those down hill’s will come. I assure you. I’ve seen them, tasted them, and enjoyed them in our own recovery. But not until I was willing to push through the uphill swings, and allow my character, my dedication and even my finances to be in it for the long haul. It wasn’t until I was willing to make it up every hill without quitting, that I experienced the downhill exhilaration. You and your spouse can make it. Press through today and don’t you dare let yourself quit.

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