To the Hearts Left to Heal Alone About two years into our marriage Wayne’s papa passed away. I will never forget going to his memorial service. After parking near the cemetery, we met his mom and grandma at their car and walked the rest of the way to the grave site with them. I remember the surprise I felt to see his grandma there since his papa had divorced her about 50 years before he had died. As we got closer to the tent where everyone was gathering, she began to get visibly uncomfortable. When we finally reached the small crowd she quietly announced that she wanted to stand in the back and urged the rest of us to sit in the seats that had been reserved for family to sit in. I had only met his papa once, but had spent quite a bit of time with his grandma, so I felt drawn to stay with her rather than follow Wayne to the chairs. As I wrapped my arm around her shoulders she began to share with me why she had chosen to attend his memorial service. In a rare moment of vulnerability her sweet eyes filled with tears as she quietly told me that while she had never gotten over the fact that he had left her for a younger woman, she had never stopped loving him, and that she thought about him every day. For whatever reason, the look on her face as she confessed her heart to me has been in my mind lately. As I think about the all the years she has hidden and ignored and quietly endured this pain alone my heart breaks for her. She was never given the chance to work toward reconnection because her husband simply chose to walk away. It occurs to me that while some of us believe the lie that we would heal more quickly without our spouse, she seemed to believe a lie that said she couldn’t heal without him. How tragic. If you find yourself betrayed and abandoned, I want to say how sorry I am that you have been left to heal alone. Having experienced healing of my wounded heart as well as reconnection with my husband, I wish that all wounded hearts could experience both as well. But if you have not been given the choice of reconnecting, don’t despair. Healing can be found regardless of whether your spouse is willing to walk that road with you or not. Harboring Hope is a good place to start. Please don’t settle for life as a walking wounded soul. Live with no regrets. Choose healing.
