Playing it Safe

“Don’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because it is not safe. You might get hurt.”

I’m sure many of us can recall this conversation from our childhood. As a mom of two very wild boys I have heard those very words come out of my own mouth many times.

After much persuasion from my oldest son I recently watched daredevil Nik Wallenda walk across Niagara Falls on a 200 foot long tightrope. I have to admit that at the beginning of his walk I was only half way paying attention as I folded clothes on the couch, but the further he went, the more excited I became. Not only did he have the challenge of keeping both feet on a two inch cord, but he also had the added difficulty of swirling winds and mist rising up in such a density that he was unable to see where he was supposed to put his next step. He had cameras on him as well as a microphone and headphones. His Dad was watching him on the cameras so he could give him encouragement and coaching along the way.

The whole time he was walking this is what you heard:
“How’s it looking Dad?”
“It’s looking good son.”
“Praise you God. Thank you Jesus.”
“Change the rhythm of your steps son. The rope is beginning to jump a little.”
“Yes, I feel that Dad… How does it look now?”
“It looks good son. You are doing good.”
“Thank you God. Praise you Jesus.”

It went like this the whole way across till he reached the other side. When he stepped onto solid ground a man asked him, “How did you do that?” He replied, “Lots of prayer. And training. I have trained since I was two.”

Wow! I wanted to cry and jump for joy at the same time. I felt like I was watching a beautiful allegory of my life, and the lives of all other spouses recovering from the pain of betrayal. Somewhere along the way in our childhood we pick up the idea that safe is good, and that anything potentially hurtful is to be avoided at all cost. That is all well and good until we wake up one day and discover that like it or not we have a very big choice to make. Do we play it safe, turn our back on the one who so deeply hurt us and has the potential to do it again? Or do we step out in faith onto the tightrope?

There is no guarantees where it will lead, but isn’t there something inside you that draws you into that adventure? Yes the risk is great, but so is the reward. During the interview after Nik made it across he was asked why he did it. “To inspire people everywhere to follow their dreams,” was his reply.

I have a dream. To live a long happy life with the man I love and to watch my two boys grow into strong courageous men. I still have days when the wind is pushing me from every direction and the mist around me is so heavy I can’t tell where my next step should be, but I am living the dream. Each step challenges me to use my life’s training, and reminds me that I need prayer and encouragement from loved ones around me to survive, but I wouldn’t change this journey one bit. I am so grateful that I choose to walk this adventure with the man I love.

Thank you, Nik Walenda. You have indeed inspired me to continue living the dream!

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Another arguement with my husband last night -- he says he can't live like he's walking on egg shells....under's like he never wants to understand the pain I still feel....he's so caugh up in himself....

makes me want to throw in the towel and get a divorce....he's still on facebook -- not a friend to me.

he's got no job and is incredibly down on himself.... I'm losing my fight.

Carrie, I am very sorry your

Carrie, I am very sorry your husband is unable to understand the pain that he has caused you. One thing that was very helpful for us was the EMS weekend that we did through Affair Recovery. I really felt like it helped Wayne get a better picture of how I was feeling. It also helped me get a better picture on what to expect in the healing process. You may look into doing one of the EMS weekends as it sounds like you both are in a place where you would really benifit from it.

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-D, Texas