The really sad part of escapism is that you take yourself with you, and that's where the problem lies. When you learn to be emotionally aware about yourself then you can make progress. You need to be brutally honest about your immaturity, selfishness and disregard for others.

Samuel,

You're right! Escapism-it makes sense now. I've been trying to rationalize the cause of the affair always asking why???? Was it my fault? Did I do something to deserve this? Therapy has taught me not to blame myself for the affair. He (unfaithful) was the weak one. We built a life together for 28 years and he threw it away for 3 months of selfishness, plain and simple. His escapism led to the death of our marriage (as our therapist says) now we our trying to start over.