A Crucial Mistake Unfaithful Spouses Make in Recovery, Without Knowing It

Samuel shares a common mistake he would often make with Samantha that kept them stuck.

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Am I making the mistake-BS

My UH says God has forgiven him, he feels so much better now that he’s not lying anymore, he sees his counselor and works on how he can communicate with me. It feels/sounds like he (and his counselor) is still trying to “fix” me! He says he’s not selfish anymore, he has found his relationship with God and he’s in it for the long haul. Then something slips out about how I haven’t forgiven him yet. (It’s been 18 mos since discovery of 2nd affair which lasted 2 years) It seems like the more we don’t talk about us, pretend normal (even though we’re separated) the better he feels, the better he thinks “we” are doing. I want things to work out but not because he is waiting on me to forgive him or for me to be OK with how things are!!! I believe he plays a big part in the trust/forgive/reconcile, its not all on me to forgive because God commands me. My UH can “do” a lot of the right things now, it just seems like he thinks through them rather than letting his heart guide him, letting God guide his heart.

Help in Orlando...

Samuel. I recently had an affair after 18 years. There was a separation but also a reconciliation. A few days after i came home my wife admitted to an affair with her boss in 2009. We are getting help but it is GENERAL relationship stuff. We have to yackle all this pain and I don't think we are getting what we need. These videos have kept us above water and for that I am really grateful. We are considering the weekend in TX. Any leads on a specialist in the Orlando area? We need someone like NOW! Thanks again.