How do you Trust Again? Part III

Samuel discusses why you don't need trust to move forward in recovery.

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Spot on.

Hi Samuel - For many months I heard this "trickle truth" drip from my husband and your explanation here is spot on. I appreciate the visual and hope that this post will help him better understand where I am coming from when the "whole truth" continues to be modified and incomplete. As you so eloquently said, this doesn't allow us to have any momentum towards healing, but instead kicks us lower each time. I am now in a place where I desperately want to trust him and rebuild our marriage, but sometimes I feel that the hole he has dug for us is so deep we will never make it out.

The benefit to the truth

Samuel:

This series has been beneficial; my husband and I often discuss your blogs and find them helpful. He continues to ask me to forward them to him and says he listens to everyone of them. I am not going to forward this one to him.

We are beyond three years from DDay and we healed our marriage this May. My husband trickle truthed for about 18 months and then after what was supposed to be the whole truth--there remained some lose ends, which didn't change anything, it only showed that there were more details that were "left" out.

The reason I would not forward this blog to him is that you mention that when more truth is exposed, it sends the betrayed to ground level--and it does--"it wrecks the betrayed life." Anyway, I think what is missing is to throw caution to the wind and against all odds, tell the truth--the whole truth--the first time and all the time---if you left something out, tell it and every time you remember something, tell it. While I am not naive, I do think some unfaithful think, "I will keep this to myself so that I don't wreck the betrayed life once more."

If you can do a series on telling the truth, the first all the time, that would be great.

Best/RMR

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