Infidelity Hits the Reset Button of Life

Samuel shares insight on how both he and Samantha's life were changed by infidelity.

Add New Comment:

Comments

Reset button

First off, thank you for these videos. When hit with infidelity the betrayed are flung into the unknown and we so desperately need some answers or insight into the nightmare that has come upon us. Suddenly, after 40 years of marriage everything is out of place, missing or destroyed! Your videos and your blog have been so helpful to me in understanding my unfaithful husband and what he is now dealing with but also what I am dealing with and how to have a healthier perspective. This is a trauma, a devastation of epic proportions and it sure has hit the reset button for us. Nothing is the same, we will not be the same, some things now seem so petty and unimportant. Our faith has skyrocketed because we see God's work in both of us, we are no longer resisting change even though we are 13 months since dday and I have not committed 100% because of trickle truth. My world was wiped out and I am such a different person now and I know that with or without him I will survive and thrive! Thank you again for all the help you provide to those of us who don't get much insight out of our unfaithful spouses. BTW, my husband has poor English so it is very difficult to get all this information to him, but much he has done correctly has come because of his relationship with God. God bless you!

thank you for the post....

amelia, thank you for posting and commenting. i'm sorry for your pain, but so encouraged that you would post a comment. i'm glad I could help in some small way. let me know if i can do anything else. take care. fight on my friend. don't give up or quit.

I understand what you're

I understand what you're saying about the choice as to whether to embrace or resist the reset button. I would hope that you and other unfaithful spouses can understand how difficult that is for a betrayed spouse, like myself, who didn't ask to have the reset button pressed.

reset button...

hope, thank you for posting. i think you'll see in many of my vlogs over the months and years, that our approach and my approach is to remember the biggest victim in infidelity is the betrayed spouse. in one small 5 to 7 minute vlog, it's impossible to encompass the entirety of emotions, feelings, mindsets, beliefs, trauma etc. I do my best, but believe me when I say I get that no betrayed spouse asked for this. Yet, it's happened. and while I'm not, nor ever will be cavalier in my approach, there is a process to moving forward and i do my best to capture as much of it as i can. i'm sorry you've had this happen. life is about how we respond, and you have my empathy for where you find yourself right now. please know that. i hope the vlog helps you regardless of some points of disagreement.

What does the reset button look like for the unfaithful?

What I am trying to figure out is why the unfaithful wife is having such a hard time letting go and coming back to the family. In her letters she wrote to the OM she talked of not leaving the marriage but never thought she would be caught either. I guess she didn't count on the fear of letting go after being caught and losing the relationship. Even though she knew he was never committed to a long term relationship with her. How different does the unfaithful reset button look?

it's tough to wrap your mind around it

thanks for posting confusedman....it's difficult to understand the mind of the unfaithful. most times, the unf, never thinks they will get caught. they usually just don't see that end of things. they live the fantasy and enjoy the time and run from responsibility, getting caught, or the idea of it. it's very drug like and based upon escapism. this audio on limerance will help explain more: https://www.affairrecovery.com/radio/limerance also, keep in mind a woman cheats for different reasons than a man cheats. the unf reset button is much different and quite honestly, needs help to do it. there's no way around the fact that they need expert help from someone who has been through it before. it's possible: more than possible, but only with the right help. what help have you and her received? what work have you done in terms of true recovery work? feel free to keep commenting and we'll keep talking. the system should alert me when you post next. thanks for watching and commenting.

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer