Streams in the Wasteland

Early on in recovery, life seemed like a wasteland. We had lost practically everything and had to start over. Samantha was flooding and some days completely unreachable emotionally. It would seem like the entirety of my life was dark. Our youngest was 5 weeks old at the time and had trouble nursing, and was just one of those high maintenance children. The other two were somewhat bewildered at us moving so quickly to another state, and asked several times about our old friends and even the affair partner from time to time as she practically helped raise my youngest two. We were stuck paying a mortgage back in California, and had a new apartment we were living in here in Texas which wasn’t cheap, wasn’t large and had what seemed like zero privacy.

Yet, there were a few streams that God provided for me. As the Bible says, “I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers (streams) in the dry wasteland (desert).” Isaiah 43

Upon moving into this apartment in Texas, I met a gentleman a few doors down who saw my motocross bike in the garage and we began riding together. He would end up becoming a great friend who cared nothing about my life prior to moving to Texas, but simply wanted to hang out and ride motocross bikes. We had some great times together, and he became a stream of new friendship which supported me far more than he knows, even now.

I would later meet another salesman who worked where I was working and slowly but surely he became one of the best friends I’ve known for the last 8 years. He was a stream provided in a wasteland of confusion and disorientation. He just happened to be the one who answered the phone when a few people called from my past to harass me or harass my employer for hiring me, since my affair was so public. That was our introduction into both our lives.

Another stream was the used car I traded my nicer car in for. When we moved to Texas, the car I had was the one which was filled with more memories and reminders of my affair partner than I could ever count. I knew I had to get rid of it. The palatable reminders from our time together were overwhelming and I had to get out of it if I was to truly have a new, fresh start. The car I replaced it with was nothing special, but it did have one very special feature: a sound system that would make your ears ring. Each day that I drove to my new job, in a new city that I would get lost in weekly, I would blare music as loud as I could and sing and cry and some days even bawl my eyes out, while I was clueless on how to make life, this new career, and recovery work.

But, it was a stream. A stream in a wasteland of pain, hurt and shame. It was a simple stream and it refreshed me time and time again.

I think if we look hard enough, we can find streams the Lord will provide for us in our dark wasteland. I know it probably feels like a desert right now, but I’m wondering if you asked for a stream, or asked God to show you a stream he may have already provided, if it wouldn’t refresh you? I believe there are streams for you and I, if we’ll look keenly and humbly for them.

I pray you find a stream or two this week which refreshes you, and reminds you of His faithfulness and love.

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"Did find one

Our Beyond EMS mentor couple has proven to be a "stream" for many of us and I know that I appreciate them so much for their insight and help. I think , for the first time, during our call last night, my husband is beginning to "get it", something I have been trying to get him to do for a solid year. I am so grateful to them. And you, Samuel, through your blog posts, are a stream for many of us who are still trying to make sense of what has happened and how to deal with it in a godly way. You always give me a new or different perspective on whatever your subject matter is for the day, and I appreciate that since I am still filled with some anger and despair and sometimes do not think clearly. Thank you for your "current" of wise counsel. (sorry for the awful pun--stream, current--bad, I know. LOL!) I appreciate you.

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