What Stage Is Your Recovery In?

Samuel shares three poignant stories of his own recovery to represent different stages both spouses go through in recovery.

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He shows no remorse doent want to do any therapy. Always make smartass remarks to me when I tell him how I feel. It's been a year..should I call it quits? I have divorced him after he lied about his affair 4 times. In too the point of enough is enough...what do you think?


anonymous, people typically 'sober up' or get help, or stop acting out at the threat of three things:  1. pain 2. consequence 3. loss.  if there aren't any of those things as of a result of his choices, he probably won't sober up or stop acting out.  if he has experienced those things, and there is no change, or willingness to get help and help you heal along with healing himself, yes, I think i would call it quits.  for him to do what he's doing, he obviously isn't healthy or safe for you to be with and be vulnerable with.  i fear it is too much.  but I also fear he will probably move towards you if you threaten divorce and pull away, just because he doesn't want to lose you.  

here are a couple helpful articles:  https://www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founders/how-get-mate-cooperate  and this one too: 

https://www.affairrecovery.com/survivors/samuel/they-get-say-no-life-going-change  if he won't get help, something like one of these two programs i would walk away:  https://www.affairrecovery.com/product/ems-weekend or https://www.affairrecovery.com/product/ems-online i would certainly be done.  he can't fix himself and if he won't do work to get healthy, I'm sorry to say there isn't much hope at all. 

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